I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

I did it in the name of irony…or something

I watched the Video Music Awards last night. Why? Because I felt like it. I am not cool. I'm fine with that. Some of my thoughts:

The Madonna/Britney/Christina/Missy performance was interesting. Say what you want about Britney and Christina, but those girls can't hold a candle to Madonna. They don't have an ounce of the class that she does. Maybe the lip locking will help, but I doubt it. Speaking of which, the reaction shots of Justin Timberlake and Mary J. Blige were hysterical.

Chris Rock's comments were funny and much needed. (Note: I edited this sentence because after posting this entry because I realized that it was bad and redundant.)

In between segments they had Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey (bitches) outside manning the trivia contest. Contestants answered questions about past VMAs and, if they answered correctly, won $25,000. I'm guessing that in order to play the contestants had to be at least 18 years old. So you can imagine my dismay when a girl who looked at least that hemmed and hawed over answering, “Who was hit in the head with his own guitar during the 1992 VMAs?” Easy, right? Well, she answered correctly after several nail-biting minutes…sort of. She pronounced his name, “Kris Noverselic.” My heart aches.

What was that Revlon contest all about? There were all these commercials for it and absolutely no explanation. Whatever, I don't care.

Chris Rock was right on the money when he said, “Good Charlotte? More like a Mediocre Green Day.” Mediocre, I think, is a bit too kind. Those kids are awful! How can no one else see that? Then afterward they were being interviewed by the new MTV News correspondant who isn't Sway. NotSway asked them, “How did you come up with the idea for those goth cheerleaders?” I flailed at the screen. THEY GOT THE IDEA FROM NIRVANA, YOU MORONS! Have you heard of “Smells Like Teen Spirit?” Augh!

Of course, I missed a lot of the show because I was busy killing bugs. I'm not sure what happened last night but in my bedroom and in the kitchen we were more or less swarmed by those little ants with wings. Blech. Then I guess a sample of every other species of bug in Pittsburgh heard about the party and started showing up. I must have killed at least 30 bugs. I was not happy.

I wasn't able to take a walk yesterday because it took me way too long to write a 250-word article about the upcoming N*E*R*D show. N*E*R*D, if you've ever tried it, is kind of hard to type. The middle finger on my right hand was getting very achey from reaching up to the 8/*. I'm glad that's over. I'm going to be busy writing some other stuff this weekend (wintermittens, I'm looking at you), but I'm bound and determined to spend quality time with my son today. So I will see you all later.

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