I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

Lord of the Rings leads to reflection on past relationships

The boyfriend's mother recently purchased The Two Towers on DVD and lent it to us last night. We had never seen it, as we've been very lazy about the whole LOTR craze. We didn't see the first one until the second was already in theaters. Even then we weren't really paying attention…just sort of doing a Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary. Anyway, in the case of the DVD there was a little Lord of the Rings catalog where you could purchase all of your official Middle Earth jewelry and weapons. The jewelry was kind of meh, although I'm sure many Tolkien fanatics are now wearing The Ring as wedding bands without even the slightest hint of irony. The swords and axes got me to thinking. There is definitely a subset of young men (mostly) who are really into knives and swords and the like and don't scurry on past when they walk by Cutlery Plus while cruising through the mall. I know several people like this and am in fact friends with them. That's just so you know that I'm not trying to just pick on the dorkier among us.
To further defend my criticism, I'm going to reveal to you this little secret: one of my ex-boyfriends was really into swords. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I wonder how I managed to stay with him for almost two years.
Dumb stuff I did while in this relationship: I did not run screaming from the room when he showed me the various nicks in his dresser that resulted from the hours and hours that he spent throwing his favorite knife at it.
I did not hesitate when he suggested that we dress up in matching medieval costumes for Halloween.
I did not beat him severely when he insisted on speaking in the third person.
I did not raise an eyebrow when he spoke about the imaginary land that he went to in his mind on a daily basis.
I did not berate him (enough) when, upon hearing the crossing signal for blind people, he said, “I always look for that cuckoo clock but I can never find it.”

I bought him several hardcover books about King Arthur and Merlin and shit.
I gave him a very nice Claddagh ring.
I also did not run screaming from the room when I saw him “dancing” to trance at a rave.

These skeletons have been brought to you by me and my closet.

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