whimper

Bedtime with the crib tent did not go as well as the naptime with the crib tent…not by a LONG SHOT. I felt very, very helpless. He would act all flipped out and scared when I would put him in the crib and zip up the tent. However, I was worried that if I took it off he would climb out and wander the house while I'm asleep. I could take the tent down put a gate up at the door to his room, but he can climb over that, too….at least I think he could if he really wanted to. I can't bring him into bed with me because he just won't do that. He'll sit still for a minute but then he either gets out of bed or starts flipping out and crying.\
The boyfriend and I went into his room with him and told him how cool his tent was and how we wished that we had one, too. We put him in there and sat next to him for awhile and talked with him and his animals. He seemed okay with everything, but when we left he got really upset. I didn't know what to do. He ended up crying for about five minutes before falling asleep. I hate doing that to him, but I really felt like I was at my wit's end. He's such a good baby so when he has these moments of irrationality I just don't know how to deal with it. Luckily, my mother wasn't here. Whenever the boyfriend and I are trying to work through some parenting challenge my mom has a way of screwing it up. Last night he was being weird about who he wanted to put him to bed. I would rock him for a little bit but he would cry for his dad. His dad would rock him back and forth and then he would cry for me. We would both try to put him to bed and he would cry for our next-door neighbor, which just wasn't an option. Eventually, the boyfriend decided to be the one to put him to bed. The baby, of course, cried about this. My mom thinks that anytime he's crying means that something is very very wrong when it was obvious to us that he was just being a toddler and was tired and cranky and didn't know what he wanted. My mom basically accused me of child abuse and I told her not to EVER use that word in reference to me again unless she really meant it. Sometimes I don't think that she believes in us as parents and that really upsets me. It also really bothers me when she gets home from work and acts all exasperated with the baby like she's been dealing with him all day and I haven't. The other night she snapped at him for some little thing. I said to her, “Mom, please don't snap at him.” She then said to me, “I DIDN'T SNAP AT HIM.” It'd be nice if I could deal with an adult every now and then.\
I'm also getting really frustrated with my short-order cook status. Practically every meal I have to make two or three different things to please everyone and it's driving me crazy. What a spoiled bunch. Of course, I guess I bring this on myself with my insistence that everyone eat somewhat healthily. Otherwise, they could all just make crap for themselves. Why exactly am I so concerned with keeping these people healthy?\
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This entry hasn't been much fun, has it? Sorry, just had to get some crap off of my chest. I really need to clean the bathroom. The boyfriend is at Club Havana and my mom is at her friend Nora's. Would cleaning the bathroom by myself at midnight on a Friday night be horribly pathetic?\
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I'm really craving sweet stuff this week. It's getting on my nerves.

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