I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

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It happened again tonight. My mom said, “I hope there's something good on TV tonight,” and looked at me. I do not control the TV. I have no power over the quality of programming. What really baffles me is when I'm watching something that's actually good and my mom comes in and changes the channel to watch something not nearly as good. A little bit ago, for instance, I was watching The Color Purple and my mom comes in and whines until I agree to watching 20/20 for few minutes just to see what's on. Not surprisingly, it's dumb shit. We caught the tail-end of a segment about a teenage girl who was raped at a party, but then came a segment about people who practice Calorie Reduction (read: dressed up anorexia). Up next is John Stossel and his rant on toys that are difficult to assemble. I always felt like Andy Rooney's crotchety commentaries on trivial shit were a waste of time, but I took comfort in the fact that someday he would be viciously eaten by poodles retire. But as far as I can tell, as soon as Mr. Rooney shuts the hell up, John Stossel will just keep on whining about shit that doesn't matter. But this doesn't bother me as much as the fact that my mom isn't showing any signs of turning The Color Purple back on, which sucks because I was really trying to spend some quality crying time with my estrogen. I guess I'll just have to go stand out back later on tonight and scream, “NETTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”* and then dissolve into tears like I was planning to do.\
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I saw Good Charlotte's anti-suicide video again last night and its suckiness really made me want to kill myself. I'm not sure what to think about that. On one hand, I think, “Wow, maybe Good Charlotte are actually really subversive and smart and are trying to get dumb MTVheads to kill themselves by sucking them in with their catchy pop punk and then making a song that's SO bad no one can resist the itch. I may have some respect for those jokers after all.” But on the other hand, I think, “OH MY GOD, THEY'RE WORSE THAN I THOUGHT! BRING ME A BOTTLE OF VODKA AND SOME VICODIN RIGHT NOW!”\
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I have this horrible pimple right at the entrance to my left nostril.\
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In a little less than an hour, my baby will be two years old! What the heck? This time two years ago I was getting the last of my stuff together to go to the hospital. Weird.\
I spent a good bit of the day making lasagna. I made a diet-friendly one for my mom, me and my grandfather and a regular, fatty one for the rest of the family. I had to run to Foodland in the middle of the whole process because I realized that the baking dishes that we had were too big. The cashier that I had was DISGRUNTLED. I guess it was time for her to go home and anytime someone who worked there walked by she would say, “Are you here to take over for me? I'm ready to go, I just need someone to take over. I don't care who it is or whether they work here or not. They can pull someone in off the street just as long as they'll stand at this register.” I felt bad. I've definitely had days like that at my various jobs.\
Anyway, I'm a very slow cook and I acknowledge this. It took me about five hours just to cook those two lasagnas.\
Off to wrap some presents.\
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*By the way, if you think I'm not going to go totally Oprah-as-Sofia at my wedding and that I won't say, “I's married now!” you're stupid.

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