On Saturday, I got a little piece of mail. It came in a security envelope, the ones that require you to tear off strips of perforated paper along the edges. Inside was the baby’s school bus schedule.
Ever since then, the reality of this big transition has really been racing through my head. I was telling a friend last night that we really have to start working our way out of this summer routine that involves staying up kind of late and taking advantage of the fact that school is out by leisurely arriving at my quiet office. The baby gets the bus at 8 a.m. and so I am going to have to make sure that he starts going to bed an hour or so earlier. I am going to have to start going to bed much earlier. Watching movies until 1:30 a.m. is probably not going to cut it anymore. I’m also going to have to start doing really responsible, adult things like pack our lunches the night before and making sure that all backpacks have everything that they need. Juggling work, the baby’s school, the husband’s school and my school is going to be a real challenge and I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t slightly terrified.
I feel like we’ve been kind of skating along up until this point, dabbling in only the bare minimum of responsible habits. The baby growing up and starting kindergarten and really moving into the realm of Big Kid is forcing me to really knuckle down and do the things that I know I should instead of just letting them slide in favor of some self-indulgence.
It might be a little easier if the baby was just totally gung ho about the whole thing, but he’s a little nervous. Last night, we were talking about the bus and he asked if I was going to go with him. I explained that I wouldn’t be and he got a little upset but I said that there would be other kids on the bus and some of them would be nervous, too. But when they get to school his teachers will meet him and they will show him where to go. I think we’re both struggling to let go of the idea that I’m just shooting my kid into the unknown with no real plan. Millions of kids start kindergarten every year and mine is going to be just fine.
To top it all off, we were watching Big Love last night (I said I was a bad mom!) and the baby said that Nicki was his favorite character. I asked him why and he said it was because she’s pretty. I asked him if he thought she was the prettiest, meaning the prettiest on the show and he said, “No, Mum, you’re the prettiest.”
Alright, I have to go melt into a puddle somewhere.