I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

And we’re off…

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Sigh. There he is. My kindergartener. Despite sleeping later than I meant to, this morning went rather well. We got all of his stuff together last night and I explained to him that some of the other parents would be at school with their kids this morning but that Mum and Dad had to go to school, too. We wouldn’t be there to transition him into his classroom, take his picture, give a few extra hugs, but that didn’t mean we weren’t with him in his heart or that we didn’t love him. He cried a little bit but I reassured him and this morning he was ready to go.

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The arrival of the bus was a little anti-climactic. After seeing several of the little yellow variety go by, a white van with one of those school students signs on it pulled up. I think we were all a little disappointed, but hey, as long as it gets my one and only child to school safely and in one piece, I don’t care.

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We kissed him and made sure he was buckled in. Then they pulled away and were gone.

Then I cried.

The combination of this big event and the long weekend really threw me off and I realized this morning that I had not done any of the readings for my 9 a.m. class. Occasionally, people ask me how I handle work, school, house, and family and I always reply, “Very ungracefully.” I screw something up at least once a week. To employ a trite and very overused metaphor, it’s a juggling act. And if you’ve ever seen me juggle in real life…well, you haven’t, because I can’t juggle for shit. But I drop at least one ball every time I start tossing them in the air. It’s really frustrating. I really need an extra three hours in the day.

We were looking at resumes in class this morning and I got a little freaked out. I feel so old compared to most of my classmates who, for the most part, come right from college and high school before that. What’s worse, I feel like I’ve spent most of my time out of college working at something which is not really at all related to anything that I would like to do in life. I’m scared how this will reflect on me when I go job-hunting two and a half years from now. I’m so scared of getting desperate and taking any job only to hate myself for it later.

4 comments to And we’re off…

  • That’s a lot of worry for one day, that totally sucks. If it helps any the boy looks ready and raring to go on his first day of kindergarten. He’s grown straight up lately, all leggy and like a big boy. I hope he comes home with good stories.

  • That picture of him waving through the window is soooo cuuuute. Damn, that’s a cute baby.

    Diddy. I was a religious studies major in college. RELIGIOUS STUDIES. Then I became a writer/film critic. And now I work in a women’s shelter. Just sayin… If you bring the skills and the experience that you do have and an employer sees these but instead chooses to focus on the fact that you, like the vast majority of people out of college, couldn’t immediately make a career out of their ideal pursuit but instead rocked at whatever else you had to do, then that would be some arbitrary shit and you shouldn’t work for that kind of poophead anyways.

    There, now I have summed up and away that particular worry of yours so that you may be freed from it forever. Aint I nifty? :p Seriously, this employment/career stuff is hellacious on the psyche. But from working with you and reading you and generally knowing you, I have a lot of genuine faith in your prospects.

  • I also love the pic of your son on the bus. It’s precious. That’s definitely one to keep to put on his graduation open house display when he’s a senior! Not that I’m getting ahead of myself….

    I cried when both my boys went to kindergarten. It’s one of the biggest life changes, I think, in having children. Right up there with going to college and marriage. Eeek. There I go again.

    Speaking of getting ahead of things..your worry monitor is off the chart! Do today. Then tomorrow. When our current task is to “fetch the water”, I’ve found that ONLY fetching the water, instead of watering plants, planting seeds, etc…along the way helps keep the task manageable.

    And I went to grad school at the age of 40. You are doing just fine.

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