Who mentioned cherries to her?

Louis C.K. was awesome last night. The show was at the Rex on the South Side which was about 500 degrees. Todd Barry opened up for him and he was pretty great, as well. He had a deadpan approach which ended up working particularly well because there was a pretty high meathead population in the audience. A guy in the front row just interrupted him early on and offered him a beer and Todd Barry was like, “Oh. You heckled me but were nice enough to offer me a beer.” Then the guy continued to apologize for like 3 minutes and Barry dubbed that “the Pittsburgh apology,” in which one apologizes for interrupting by continuing to interrupt. That guy was a douche and heckled him some more, but Barry pulled his card every time and said that he looked like he had just come from a caddying job. There was also guy a few rows behind us who kept going, “YEEEEOOOOWWWWW!” which Barry said was more of a Toby Keith concert cheer. Hehe.

I hate people.

Louis C.K. himself was just hysterical. I could listen to him talk about his wife and kids all day because so much of what he says is so so true. He did a bit about trying to get his five-year-old daughter into her car seat. She won’t go in, then she wants to buckle herself in and then can’t do it right so she whines and the parent finally goes, “JUST GET IN THE FUCKING CAR!” then grumbles all the way around to the driver’s side door. I was practically in tears. He also touched on her first day of kindergarten, which was on Tuesday, and said that they had this idealized vision of kissing and hugging her goodbye before tearfully sending her off. The reality was, “Come on! COME ON! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? LET’S GO WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE!” While the baby’s send off on the bus went smoothly, there were definitely some “are you fucking kidding me?” moments.

He also talked about going to a Steeler game one time and sitting in the nosebleed section next to these very Pittsburgh dudes. He said that they looked like manatees and were wearing these tiny tshirts. The skin on the back of the neck was all red and frost-bitten but they didn’t care and one of them had a squeezy bottle of Jack Daniels which Louis took a swig of. Ha. Totally.

Jwan, that bastard, got to meet him after the show for a second. Jwan’s glasses broke during the show so he was trying to fix them. He left the theater after everyone else and ran into Louis at the bar. I would have stayed behind to meet him and Barry but I had to get out of that sweatbox. I’m so ready for it to just be winter. I’m sick of sweating.

I spotted some big bug in our room this morning and assumed it was some cockroach or something. So I grabbed Greedo (our cat) and plopped him in front of it, only to realize that it was a grasshopper. I felt kind of bad because he died a slow, painful death at the paws of Greedo…but what the hell was a grasshopper doing in our room anyway?

One Response to “Who mentioned cherries to her?”

  1. frank Says:

    grasshopper should have shot first.

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