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Moving on

First of all, heartfelt thanks to everyone for the supportive comments the other day. Every single one made me feel a little bit better and I really needed that.

It’s been a weird couple of days. After I got to work on Friday, I promptly got my period which was exactly what I felt like dealing with at the time. Also, we later realized that the thief also stole our son’s piggy bank, which is just…I don’t know how shitty of a human being you have to be to steal from a kid. On Saturday, we went to the funeral service for our friend’s mother, who lost her battle with cancer a few days ago. I couldn’t tell you why it didn’t occur to me to grab some tissues on the way out the door, but it was a bad move on my part. I was still keyed up from the break-in and I still have a cold. Our friend got up to speak about his mother and the tears (and the snot) couldn’t be stopped. I only met his mom once, but I was really feeling sad for our friend. And I kept thinking about the fact that we’ve reached a point in our life where our parents are starting to die. Life just suddenly became way too overwhelming.

We went to the husband’s mom’s house for dinner on Saturday night, and after analyzing every aspect of the break-in, I started to feel pretty depressed about the whole thing. I’ve been so on-edge since it happened and while I certainly didn’t expect to be over it only three days after the fact, I didn’t anticipate how scared I would be all the time. Considering all of the what-ifs could easily drive me insane. And I don’t want to be like that, so I have move on. It’s tough, though. We lingered at my mother-in-law’s house. I was not really looking forward to going home and dreading what we might find, jumping at every little noise. I don’t honestly think that we’ll be burglarized again, but tell that to my instincts. I looked at the husband sitting next to his mom and couldn’t help but think that we’re just kids and we’re not ready to deal with people threatening our safety or with parents dying. I guess the big, bad world landed in my lap the other day and I really wasn’t expecting it to arrive so soon. I was telling Tracey the other day that I keep going back to the moment when I realized that someone had been in my house who shouldn’t have been and how I suddenly became aware of their presence, how I could practically feel them sitting on my couch and looking at my stuff, and tiptoeing around so as not to wake us up. Sick.

6 comments to Moving on

  • mikebee

    i didn’t want to mention this the other day, because it’s a bummer, but when our apt got burglarized, it wasn’t the stuff that was stolen – we got over that super quick. what they really take away from you is your sense of well-being and security in your *home*, the one place where you’re supposed to feel completely safe. i *still*, two years later, check our windows when we drive by the apartment, or when i come home from work. i’m looking for broken glass or a sign of entry. it’s become a habit and i hate it. i hope you guys can get over that, i really do.

  • alaina

    When I was little, (probably your son’s age actually) my piggy bank was stolen during a break-in. People are the worst sometimes.

  • j3n

    Just a little something to cheer you up in case you haven’t seen it already. Its the lolcat parody version of Post Secret: http://lolsecretz.blogspot.com/

  • Sorry to hear about your break-in. Its no fun to feel invaded/vulnerable in that way. And you are right, who steals a kids piggy bank? Someone that has probably let themselves fall lower than they ever thought possible.

    I’m sorry that you are feeling a little scared in your own home. I have an 80 pound German Shepard and a little barking Chihuahua, that I only hope can keep me safe from such things.

    By the way, I think its adorable that you have such interesting conversations with your son and that you still call him “the baby.”

  • tony and i stayed at his mom that night of our break in. we just didn’t want to go back to our tainted apartment, i know what ya mean. i couldn’t return to it till saturday morning when it was bright and sunny. this is all making us stronger… oy.

  • Cristina

    Sorry it has taken me so long to say something. Ed filled me in the other day and I have been meaning to just pick up the damn phone and call you and I haven’t.

    I have to agree with my brother and know *exactly* what you are talking about. I wasn’t home when dude broke into my apartment. This is the guy that took the Yuengling beer but left the import. Also took the cheap ass vodka and left the Grey Goose. ANYWAY… I had Jwan stay over for 2 days and then my friend Brandon stayed for a week. I would lay there at night thinking the same shit you do. AND I also went through the 900 scenarios in my head. Its upsetting but it does pass.

    Hang in there!! Sorry I haven’t called. I knew you guys all had the funeral on Saturday and we had the Babys baptism so we’ll catch up soon. Let me know if I can do anything.

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