First of all, heartfelt thanks to everyone for the supportive comments the other day. Every single one made me feel a little bit better and I really needed that.
It’s been a weird couple of days. After I got to work on Friday, I promptly got my period which was exactly what I felt like dealing with at the time. Also, we later realized that the thief also stole our son’s piggy bank, which is just…I don’t know how shitty of a human being you have to be to steal from a kid. On Saturday, we went to the funeral service for our friend’s mother, who lost her battle with cancer a few days ago. I couldn’t tell you why it didn’t occur to me to grab some tissues on the way out the door, but it was a bad move on my part. I was still keyed up from the break-in and I still have a cold. Our friend got up to speak about his mother and the tears (and the snot) couldn’t be stopped. I only met his mom once, but I was really feeling sad for our friend. And I kept thinking about the fact that we’ve reached a point in our life where our parents are starting to die. Life just suddenly became way too overwhelming.
We went to the husband’s mom’s house for dinner on Saturday night, and after analyzing every aspect of the break-in, I started to feel pretty depressed about the whole thing. I’ve been so on-edge since it happened and while I certainly didn’t expect to be over it only three days after the fact, I didn’t anticipate how scared I would be all the time. Considering all of the what-ifs could easily drive me insane. And I don’t want to be like that, so I have move on. It’s tough, though. We lingered at my mother-in-law’s house. I was not really looking forward to going home and dreading what we might find, jumping at every little noise. I don’t honestly think that we’ll be burglarized again, but tell that to my instincts. I looked at the husband sitting next to his mom and couldn’t help but think that we’re just kids and we’re not ready to deal with people threatening our safety or with parents dying. I guess the big, bad world landed in my lap the other day and I really wasn’t expecting it to arrive so soon. I was telling Tracey the other day that I keep going back to the moment when I realized that someone had been in my house who shouldn’t have been and how I suddenly became aware of their presence, how I could practically feel them sitting on my couch and looking at my stuff, and tiptoeing around so as not to wake us up. Sick.