I really don’t know how people work from home. Aside from all of the distractions luring me away from being productive, there are other people who live here. And those other people are…how can I put this nicely and in a way that doesn’t diminish my love for them?

Those other people are obnoxious.

I have a new freelance gig and had squeezed in a phone interview yesterday. When I called the guy I got his voice mail, so I left a message telling him to call me back. He did a few hours later.

My voice recorder kicked the bucket a few weeks ago and I didn’t really grasp how much I would miss it until I was on the phone with this guy, furiously typing away notes, when the baby came upstairs.

He has a “sandwich” he had made for me and wants me to “eat” it right away. My silent shoos kind of work…but then he goes to the bathroom where the husband is taking a shower. So the husband starts yelling at the baby to close the door before the smoke alarm goes off (a charming quirk) and the baby starts whining back and they’re being incredibly loud. The guy on the phone is talking and talking and I’m saying “Mmhmm. Mmhmm,” even though I can’t hear anything and trying to close the door which doesn’t really close because our house is old and crooked. The baby sees this and pushes his way through. I give up and go back to my computer…and the cat is curled up on the keyboard.

I’m going to have, like, one vague quote for this article and whatever my cat managed to type out with its stomach. Great.

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