I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

Need pie

My afternoon class was canceled so that means that I don’t have any classes this week. Yesssss. It was a highly needed reprieve, too. This morning, as I was dragging the baby to the bus stop, I was thinking, “God, I just don’t want to do anything anymore. I don’t want to go to work, I don’t want to go to class, I don’t want to be married, I don’t want to be a mom, I don’t want a house, I don’t even want to be a daughter. I just want to stay in bed all day and watch whatever is on TV.”

Healthy, yes? But apparently, all it took was for that 1:30 – 2:50 block to be freed up and I’m all on top of life again.

The baby also told me this morning that he didn’t think he should go to school because he wasn’t feeling well. I asked him what was wrong and he said, “I feel like I’m losing my mind.” Uh, okay.

The wedding on Saturday was very nice. On the drive up, the husband and I ranted about stuff. The ceremony was very short. The minister was a little strange, though. He kept stumbling on his words (“Who brings this woman to be buried…I mean, married,”), and when he asked for the rings he said, “Can you bring me those rings so I can bless them?” Christ, dude, act like you’ve done this before or at least be a little cheerier.

I didn’t take too many pictures because my batteries died, even though when my mom borrowed it last week she said she put new batteries in. I don’t know why she has to be such a dirty liar. I will post this one that I took of this really awesome garage door that was smack in the middle of Creepy Church Country, OH. What is up with Ohio and Jesus? They love that dude there. Multiple churches on every block. Like Lewis Black said, “He is the Coca-Cola of Ohio.”

On our way to the reception, the husband spotted a record store so we stopped in there for a few minutes, such is his addiction. He did manage to find a rare record so I guess it was worth it.

The reception was nice. The minister showed up in a pastel blue and yellow plaid suit and muttered grace. There was another woman there who wore this red satin dress for the ceremony and then changed into this yellow chiffon number for the reception. Diva! Someday I want to be badass enough to need a wardrobe change.

The DJ was kind of meh. He kept playing line dance songs, like whatever idiotic Dirty South-lite crap has come out in the past six months. That was fine, but it was an older crowd. The mostly sat around looking amused. Until he played the Electric Slide. Then things got serious. At the beginning, he had all of the married couples come out on the dance floor for this thing he likes to do called “Lessons in Love” or something. He played “Here and Now” by Luther Vandross (Luther!) then slowly eliminated all of the couples by years of marriage until there was one couple left dancing. The DJ asked them how long they had been married and the wife said, “I don’t know, sixty some years?” Ha! The husband and I got eliminated in the first round since we’ve been married less than five years, but it was nice to dance with that dude for a second.

Also, I apparently cry at weddings very easily now. Awesome.

I fell asleep in the car on the ride home (3 glasses of red wine) and when we got home we watched The Wickerman, which was pretty messed up.

Is it time for turkey yet?

8 comments to Need pie

  • “God, I just don’t want to do anything anymore. I don’t want to go to work, I don’t want to go to class, I don’t want to be married, I don’t want to be a mom, I don’t want a house, I don’t even want to be a daughter. I just want to stay in bed all day and watch whatever is on TV.”


    (ps: only 5 weeks until REHOBOTH! HANG ON!)

  • “I think I’m losing my mind.”

    Ha! That’s awesome…I love it when kids are brutally honest!

  • sonbanon

    They did that married couples dance at a wedding we recently attended, and the longest standing couple was also sixty-some years married. The DJ asked the husband how they had stayed married so long and he replied, “I just do whatever she says!” That made things in our house really nice for me for the next few days :)

  • Oh I so agree with the baby. And with you. I might be losing my mind, I just can’t face anything more than putting one foot in front of the other but for no particular reason. Some woman passed out in the car I was on on the train this morning and I had to get off the train but I wasn’t near work yet and I was just completely baffled. It took my 3 or 4 minutes just to figure out what I should do next. Which was JUST FUCKING STAND THERE until another train comes along. How hard is that?

  • Tracey, I think I can make it. I think I can I think I can…

    Kizz, don’t feel bad. Sometimes those things just don’t occur to you around this time of year.

  • I was at a wedding last night and there was no Electric Slide. There was like choreographed line dances to hip hop, though.

  • Greetings from Colorado! I’m bored at work so I decided to check out your blog on my iphone during lunch break.
    I enjoy the information you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.

    I’m shocked at how quick your blog loaded on my cell phone ..
    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, wonderful blog!

  • and…Very okthanks for asnkigSometimes I prefer reading to writingthat’s allI love literal translations:)so much falls through the culture gapand only those who understand both sides understand how funny the mismatch actually was

Leave a Reply




You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>