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n’at

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Happy New Year. Me and the kids are watching the Simpsons movie and are all still happily pajama-ed. Everyone else is asleep.

Last night’s post was chosen over this other gushy post about standing out on the beach with the husband a few minutes after midnight and the universe and how time is ours because it’s not real. And somehow I had the sense to not hit “Publish,” knowing that I would look at it in the morning and e-blush. So instead I tapped into my more belligerent self and posted something only slightly less embarrassing for both you and me. It worked, yes?

But honestly I think New Year’s has become one of my least favorite holidays. There are all of these expectations for it, how it’s supposed to be this wild party to usher in a new beginning. And so often my feelings at midnight have been far short of that. But last night was nice. True, I was not sober. But besides that I think it had something to do with seeing Dick Clark propped up for the TV, held together with tape and chicken wire and wheezing his way through the countdown. I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. What kind of species does that to someone? But instead of listening to Ryan Seacrest talk to a group of nobodies about how magical Times Square is, I watched that live Radiohead concert and it was perfect for my mood. It might have something to do with the knowledge that Bush will be out of office soon and even if my hopes for the upcoming election are as grim as ever, perhaps everyone can embrace their inner lunatic and make interesting art again, change culture, shed their shithead shells, turn inward, and then maybe emerge unafraid to call out the bullshit.

A tall order, perhaps. But what’s stopping us?

Anyway, not long after midnight, Tracey and Jamie took a quick stroll on the beach and when they came back they told us we had to go check it out. The tide was extremely low so as we made our way to the water’s edge we seemed to walk forever. And when we looked up at the stars dripping from the sky and the ocean disappeared into the horizon making it look infinite, I managed to forget that we were on earth. People set off fireworks behind us and I couldn’t imagine how someone could look at that sky and not be overwhelmed at the enormity of it all. This tiny little rock that we stand on, hurtling through space and us celebrating our invention of time, the only thing we all agree on.

Yeah. In any case, it was at least more exciting than last year, when we all slightly raised our heads in the middle of an Ace of Cakes marathon. At least we managed to stand up this year.

I find myself in a pissy mood this morning. Mostly because we have to go home tomorrow and I’m having such a nice time here. And also we’re out of Midas Touch and I think I have something of an addiction.

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