I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

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kdiddy’s guide to professionalism

Here’s an indisputable sign that you’re not totally ready to go back to work after vacation: you instinctively start to pack some beers with your lunch.

Grunt. See, we had settled into the habit of beginning to drink around 2 p.m. at the latest so, naturally, I thought to myself, “I’ll still be at work at 2,” and reached for the beers before realizing, “That’s not appropriate, dipshit.”

Indeed, the glare of real life is pretty harsh. I did manage to get out of bed at 6:30 this morning. Not because I was excited to get back to the 9 to 5, but because I realized about 30 seconds before falling asleep last night that I wasn’t sure if I had anything to pack for the baby’s lunch. I braced myself for an early morning run to the convenience store (for microwave burritos and Gatorade I guess? maybe some Copenhagen?) but lucky for me there were two slices of bread that were about five minutes away from being stale, so I lovingly slapped some peanut butter on one of them. The baby has placed himself on a strict diet of peanut butter, bread, air, and chaos. It seems to be doing wonders since he’s about six inches around. I should market this new fad, no?

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4 comments to kdiddy’s guide to professionalism

  • Are they doing post-exercise stretching?

    I may have to start this peanut buttter and air diet.

  • “runner’s stretches,” according to the baby. they were pretty serious about it, too.

  • FEEL THE BURN! oh man, that picture cracks me up.

  • The convenient store lunch is a very loving, yet often understood thing. I once had to buy my kids Valentine snack for his class at the Stop ‘n Go. Yeah. As I pondered how they were going to pass out the sunflower seeds…or how I was going to afford 25 Snickers bars…I found a lonely bag of lollypops.
    I have, on more than one occasion, offered up “gas station breakfast” on Saturday morning, in exchange for more sleep. My kids will be quiet for an extra hour if it means Rootbeer and King Size candy bars! A burrito and gatorade would have been just fine. And…a few hours later, he would be the envy of all the kids in his class.

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