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like water for chocolate

I’m going through a very rough patch with my mom right now. She and I have always had a close, but very rocky relationship. Without spewing too much personal stuff, I’ve always felt that she had boundary issues that were only made worse when I got together with the husband and had the baby like five minutes after saying, “Yeah, sure, we can hang out or whatever,” to him.

I honestly feel that it’s way beyond the normal, “My mom is a pain in my ass,” stuff. Someone told me last night that I look bad in the situation, like I’m just being mean to my mom because I’m a nasty person, and that really sucks. I think what everyone is seeing is that I never stand up for myself, so when I do, I look like a humongous bitch. Or maybe I just let things go too long and when I finally do say something, I can’t help but explode.

In any case, something drastic has to happen, or else I’m moving to a little cabin in the mountains or some shit.

In less emo news, my co-worker is going through a break-up, which has allowed me to tap into one of my favorite “genres” of music…break-up songs. Some of my favorites: “Not Gon Cry” by Mary J. Blige, “There You Go” by P!nk, and “Song for the Dumped” by Ben Folds Five. Yours?

13 comments to like water for chocolate

  • oldefezziwig

    haha.. I don’t know how you get any MORE emo than thinking of songs for going through a break-up. But if I had to choose I would go with anything by the Smiths, in particular “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now” or “Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want”

  • I always use that last one, the one with the exploding. I try to work on it but I also always think that if someone has known me long enough (like MY PARENTS!!!) that they might get it and work with it a little.

    They don’t.

    I’m going through a very bad piece with my dad right. It sucks. Sorry you’re having this.

  • Mary Rose

    Hands down, my best breakup song is is Jeff Buckley, “Last Goodbye.”

  • Breakup songs for me: a whole network of mid-90s Ani Difranco angst – the entire Dilate album plus ‘Sorry I Am”, “You Had Time” and a good bit of ‘Reckoning’. My tastes run really vag-y when I’m in breakup mode.

    I also have to say I am a fan of both ‘Song For the Dumped’, ‘Selfless, Cold and Composed’, and ‘Evaporated’ by BFF, ‘Tear in My Hand’ by Tori Amos if there’s another woman (“maybe she’s just pieces of me you’ve never seen”), and “Divorce” by Regina Spektor.

    Wow. Looking above, I don’t know how I could ever stand myself post-breakup. What a sad bastard.

  • fezziwig, true. but I guess break-ups are less emo than, “wah, my mom sucks,” no?

    Kizz. Thanks, dude. *hugs*

    Mary Rose, that song KILLS me. I imagine I have listened to it post-break-up but it makes me want to die a little too much.

    Amber. Vag-y. Ha! I feel like I’m usually angry post-break-up so the sad songs quell my rage too much. I like to feel like I’m going to go beat the shit out of someone, even though I know I’m just going to eat more doughnuts.

  • I am definitely a wallow-in-my-misery gal. I like songs that “speak to my pain” that I can nod sorrowfully to while I cry and whimper-sing along and analyze everything I did wrong to contribute to the sad, sorry end. It’s totally pathetic.

  • Yeah, of all people on Earth, my mother is the one who can get me to scream like a madman, with my sister a close second.

    Try “How Do You Tell Someone” by Cowboy Mouth.

  • Mary

    I have a great breakup song by Bang Sugar Bang that opens with the line, “If I could be anything, I’d be a machine gun, / ‘Cause every time I look at you, I’m sorry I don’t own one.”

    I can send it to yinz if you have iTunes.

  • i think your mom is my mom. seriously.

  • I just heard the best breakup song this past week: “Too Drunk to Dream” by the Magnetic Fields. I’m trying to get Mike to dump me so I can lead singalongs at Gooski’s.

  • Moms = ARGH.

    I’ll bake you some snickerdoodles. That will knock the emo right out of you.

    And Song for the Dumped is hilarious. I haven’t thought of that song in years. Now I’ll have it in my head all day.

  • My favorite break up song, or “I hate men” song is Aimee Mann’s “that’s just what you are”
    “What’s the matter with the truth, did I offend your ears…” love that line!

    And I can relate to the mom stuff…Boundary issues are exactly it. I’ve had to go GET therapy to learn to accept and how to deal with this, and I’m a freaking THERAPIST!

  • tubesy

    I am a big fan of Lauryn Hill’s “Ex-Factor” for wallowing, and I would definitely have used Lily’s Allen’s “Not Big” if it had existed during my era of many douchebags. Buckley’s version of “Hallelujah” (for love-is-a-lie hopelessness) and Nina Simone’s “You Can Have Him” (for dirty cheaters) are also great wallowers.

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