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strawberry jam, elderberry jam, toe jam, monster jam…

Guess what I did on Friday? It involved wheels and lots of testosterone and patriotism. Indeed, I went to Monster Jam with the husband, the baby, and the sister-in-law.

It was…alright. Certainly, the most interesting part of the evening was the prelude, in which the announcer came out and started paying tribute to all of the firefighters and policemen and “the troops in Iraq who are fighting for our right to be here at Monster Jam tonight.” No, seriously. He said that. That’s why we’re over there. Monster trucks. Now, I’m a cynical bizatch but if I was a soldier and someone told me that I was fighting for a bunch of jackasses to go see monster trucks, I would probably kill a whole bunch of people. Or myself. Of course, they then brought out an enormous flag for the national anthem.

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This little boy was chowing down on some blue cotton candy, which of course was all over his face and hands. I hate it when kids get all sticky and of course this guy was with his dad who was completely oblivious and let him touch everything. Ew.

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Yay! Oh and that’s a spider tattoo on his forehead. He applied that himself.

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Huge flag, via the JumboTron.

Then the trucks came out and did this for about 20 minutes:

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The baby was really excited about these guys who are, apparently, the George Clooney and Brad Pitt of monster trucks.

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The trucks did some stuff. It was all very anti-climactic.

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There was also some Motocross, which is really difficult to photograph with a little point-and-shoot. But that stuff was very cool. I need to go see a whole Motocross event. And this is a totally inadvertent picture of that guy’s bald spot. I was nice and didn’t take clandestine pictures of all of the hotties there. Because it’s happened before when I intentionally post pictures like this of the characters around Pittsburgh, somebody gets offended and says, “Hey, that’s my mom!” or some shit.

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One truck fall down, go boom. This got the largest reaction from the crowd.

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The baby dug it, though, despite the fact that the four of us had a huge argument over who was going to go get snacks. Bolt and I didn’t want anything, but the husband was trying to argue that WE had to go get him and the baby snacks since it was their idea to go. I really hate them sometimes.

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He got an El Toro Loco hat and the other night before getting a shower, he stripped naked except for the hat and pretended to be a bull. It was a little strange.

Overall, I honestly thought the whole thing was kind of boring and slow-moving but I think that had a lot to do with the limited amount of space. And I guess I’m saying that I need to go to a monster truck/motocross/ATV rally outdoors, in the woods somewhere. Can’t wait!

10 comments to strawberry jam, elderberry jam, toe jam, monster jam…

  • clobby

    the problem with monster jamz at the mellon arena is that the trucks just don’t have enough room to pick up speed and really launch. i went to a jam there a few years ago and really wished that i had been in a football stadium or outside area like you see on TV.

  • yeah, I could tell. even the ATV racers had to slow waaaaaaaaaaaaay down on the bends just to retain control. it was kind of maddening.

  • Ed

    Really cool loud things I need to see before I die:

    1. Summernationals at Englishtown
    2. Bonneville speed week
    3. Hardcore tractor pull
    4. Motorcycle racing on ice
    5. My uncle winning another drag boat championship

    Cool Bloo hat!

  • Tanie


  • Okay, so the Bloo Hat rocks, my 7 year old would kill for that kind of gear. We did Monster Jam at Mellon Arena twice and I don’t know, I just am not into Monster Trucks, but my boys, they are. My 5 year old digs them and I can’t believe we missed it this year, I must be living in a hole. I have been avoiding the news so Jeff Versyla can’t tell me it is going to snow-AGAIN.

  • Corrie, we got the Bloo hat at Hot Topic. No shit! It’s reversible, too. The other side is Cheese.

  • wow. you ventured into “red stater central” and came out alive to tell the tale? brass. balls.

  • I love that you went to Monster Jam. A couple weeks ago when that commercial came on, my husband turned to me and said, “You know that when we have kids I’m taking them to Monster Jam, right?”

    Not sure why he felt the need to clear that up so far in advance, but it has been noted.

  • thanks, j.t. i’m trying to broaden my horizons or some shit.

  • Well, that’s what they say about Pennsylvania – it’s Philly and Pittsburgh, with a whole bunch of Alabama in between. Granted, this was at one of the ends, but maybe the borders are a bit fuzzy.

    Lots of kudos to you for restraining yourself in strangling the announcer when he talked about the troops. I think we need the troops home so we can protect people that amazingly stupid from getting strangled by those with working brain cells, or perhaps doing in themselves or others whenever they say something like, “Hey, y’all…watch this!

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