I went to Student Health yesterday. Let me put it right out there that I feel incredibly lucky to have highly competent medical staff on campus and available to me at practically a moment’s notice. But I get the sense that the folks at Student Health are maybe lacking some excitement. I mean, just judging by the posters and pamphlets covering the place, I imagine that 99% of the time they deal with minor STDs, contraception, and common colds and whatnot. Then here comes me, all flushed and bleh and complaining of weird pains.
So, yeah, they sent me to the ER to get checked for appendicitis.
I had some pain in my side but not like STABBING pain just “Ow, if you could please quit pressing there as soon as possible, that would be awesome.”
Obviously, since I’m here telling you about this and not in the hospital, I do not have appendicitis. At least, they’re pretty sure I don’t. I was told to make note of any debilitating pain and inform a medical professional should I start projectile vomiting and turning green. Which, you know…word. Will do!
And I’m pretty much okay today. I’m just still really tired despite getting like 9 hours of sleep and have had absolutely no appetite for the past two days. I can’t say for sure what was wrong with me, but none of the medical peeps think it was food poisoning either, so it must just be some low-level stomach bug.
Oh, and I am not pregnant. I know this because I believe I was tested 3 or 4 times yesterday. Like, “Okay, you were negative at 3:30 but it’s 6 p.m. You’re probably totally pregnant now!”
The best part of my trip to the ER was that student health insisted that campus police take me to West Penn. That was all well and good…until the (very nice) campus police officer dropped me off at the Liberty Avenue entrance to the Mellon Pavillion of West Penn. He told me, “Okay, just go in there and there will be a receptionist and they’ll call for you when they’re ready for you.” West Penn is notoriously maze-like, but I KNOW that the ER entrance is on Millvale. So I said, “I go in here? Really?” And he said yeah and I figured he knew something I didn’t. Like, someone from the ER would come get me from a completely different part of the building…because that’s how they roll.
I spent about 10 minutes lounging in the lobby completely alone (no receptionist, no patients, nothing) before figuring that if I DID have appendicitis, it would be best for me to go to the actual ER, instead of languishing in the non-ER, imagined arrangements aside.
So I just walked to the ER. And let me tell you. Stuff like this ALWAYS happens to me. Like a simple task of taking someone to the emergency room becomes this silly exercise in stupid.