so i just go right here, then?

I went to Student Health yesterday. Let me put it right out there that I feel incredibly lucky to have highly competent medical staff on campus and available to me at practically a moment’s notice. But I get the sense that the folks at Student Health are maybe lacking some excitement. I mean, just judging by the posters and pamphlets covering the place, I imagine that 99% of the time they deal with minor STDs, contraception, and common colds and whatnot. Then here comes me, all flushed and bleh and complaining of weird pains.

So, yeah, they sent me to the ER to get checked for appendicitis.

I had some pain in my side but not like STABBING pain just “Ow, if you could please quit pressing there as soon as possible, that would be awesome.”

Obviously, since I’m here telling you about this and not in the hospital, I do not have appendicitis. At least, they’re pretty sure I don’t. I was told to make note of any debilitating pain and inform a medical professional should I start projectile vomiting and turning green. Which, you know…word. Will do!

And I’m pretty much okay today. I’m just still really tired despite getting like 9 hours of sleep and have had absolutely no appetite for the past two days. I can’t say for sure what was wrong with me, but none of the medical peeps think it was food poisoning either, so it must just be some low-level stomach bug.

Oh, and I am not pregnant. I know this because I believe I was tested 3 or 4 times yesterday. Like, “Okay, you were negative at 3:30 but it’s 6 p.m. You’re probably totally pregnant now!”

The best part of my trip to the ER was that student health insisted that campus police take me to West Penn. That was all well and good…until the (very nice) campus police officer dropped me off at the Liberty Avenue entrance to the Mellon Pavillion of West Penn. He told me, “Okay, just go in there and there will be a receptionist and they’ll call for you when they’re ready for you.” West Penn is notoriously maze-like, but I KNOW that the ER entrance is on Millvale. So I said, “I go in here? Really?” And he said yeah and I figured he knew something I didn’t. Like, someone from the ER would come get me from a completely different part of the building…because that’s how they roll.

I spent about 10 minutes lounging in the lobby completely alone (no receptionist, no patients, nothing) before figuring that if I DID have appendicitis, it would be best for me to go to the actual ER, instead of languishing in the non-ER, imagined arrangements aside.

So I just walked to the ER. And let me tell you. Stuff like this ALWAYS happens to me. Like a simple task of taking someone to the emergency room becomes this silly exercise in stupid.

8 Responses to “so i just go right here, then?”

  1. Amber Says:

    Ew, I’m glad you don’t have appendicitis. Not to be all Debbie Downer, but it could be kidney stones. I think they’re like a free gift when you turn 30 or something, because I swear, I know 4 or 5 people who were about to turn 30 or had just turned 30 who got kidney stones this past year or so.

    I blame Starbucks.

    (*WAH WAAH*)

  2. kdiddy Says:

    hmm, that’s a good point. I should have brought up my frequent UTIs…but I guess when I’m not having them (knock on wood), I tend to put them out of my mind altogether.

  3. Amber Says:

    Also, don’t you love that every time women of our age get ill or have any pain in the abdominal vicinity, we MUST be pregnant? Dig deeper, docs, I am more than my uterus and that bitch is plugged full of copper.

  4. kdiddy Says:

    what was especially silly was that I told them a bunch of times that I JUST had my period. Like, I’m still spotting a little bit today. and, yeah, I know anything’s possible and I know they have to be thorough, but yeah, if I had been pregnant I would’ve eaten my hat…before going totally apeshit and punching everyone.

  5. NGS Says:

    I’m going to have to say that I had an incident very much like this one. And, as Amber said, it turned out to be kidney stones. But because they thought it could be 1) pregnancy 2) UTI or 3) appendicitis (and some fourth thing, but I was on morphine and don’t remember that part well), this was not discovered until seven hours in the ER had passed.

    (I was 28 with the kidney stone – not sure if that is turning 30 or not, Amber, but right around there. That was the main reason they took so long to test me for them – apparently kidney stones normally don’t become a problem until about 35 or so.)

    But, I wanted to tell you that I too went to student health services first. They sent me to the ER! Whee!!

  6. kdiddy Says:

    man, nobody offered me morphine. I feel ripped off.

  7. jive turkey Says:

    Yikes – I hope you feel better and it isn’t appendicitis or kidney stones. But it’s kind of unnerving whenever you feel so profoundly shitty and no one can say what it is. Last year right around this time, Brad had a similar experience – stomach pains, no appetite, really really bad body aches & a near-constant fever. I took him to the ER, and they ran a barrage of tests, and nothing. He finally got better after about 3 more days. Freaky. We never did figure out what it was.

  8. kdiddy Says:

    thanks, dude. yeah, I seem to be pretty much okay now, though my appetite is still pretty…non-existent.

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