I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

my impersonation of track & field interviews

Talking Head: That was a really exciting race! Did you expect to pull out front so early?

Runner: *pant pant* Um *pant* I muh puh haaa *pant pant*

TH: And how glad are you that you made it into the final?

R: *pant* Well, musperseeeehhhh geh PU-CHOW! *pant pant pant*

TH: Uh-huh. Now, of course, you know this is the Olympics. Are you surprised that you didn’t perform better?

R: *pant pant pant* Hehe. Uhhhmmm…(something that may or may not be “go fuck yourself.”)

TH: Alright! Thank you. And good luck!

R: Ugh.

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