I had a birthday party last night…and that’s all I really know for sure. Depending on your perspective, I really did it up right or horribly wrong.
Via text in the midst of everything:
Me: Woooooopppopo omg my throat hurts so bad champagne
Me: Looking several kinds of sloppy
Frank: playaz grab your dicks if you love hip hop ladies rub your titties if you love big poppa
Frank: Are you surrounded by criminals high rollers heavy hitters and sheisty individuals?
Me: Something like that. OMFG I’m 30.
Frank: Thirty is the new twenty-one.
Me: OMFG Barack Obama
Frank: Omg rave
Me: Lizard britches
Frank: Sloppy cock
Me: Drizzunk. Am totally.
Frank: I should go to sleep before I get in trouble again.
Me: Just puked the rest of my 20s out.
Me: Good riddance
Frank: I bet you still look hot
Me: Yeah totally *horf*
Frank: You’ll feel better if you
Then this morning with Tracey:
Sweetney: did you at least have fun before puking?
me: yes very much
Sweetney: oh good!
me: and i must say that i deal with puking much better in my old age
Sweetney: “oh let’s just get this over with already…”
me: i very calmly got up and went to the bathroom off of the dining room and i’m like, “HWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK COUGH COUGH” and the husband goes, “are you barfing?”
me: “kelly! are. you. barfing.” it was the dumbest “conversation” ever
me: no i’m singing!
Sweetney: that’s from an aboriginal tune, it’s very EARTHY
me: it’s tuvan throat singing! but with extra bile!
I’m definitely in the midst of a “never drinking again” spiral of regret and unfortunate sick outfits and my voice is completely gone. But I had so much fun. The husband and some of our other friends played records and were sure to play all of my favorites and it was so fantastic to have so many of my favorite people in one place for the first time in I don’t know how long. I think I got overly mushy near the end of the night and if that made anyone squirm, sorry. But like 75% of what I said was true.