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another semester over

You know what I LOVE? I love studying for an exam for hours and hours and trying to tell myself that it won’t be that bad in an attempt to calm my test-phobic self down and then sitting down to take the test and seeing that I have no fucking idea what the first question is talking about.

That’s what just happened in my grammar final. I eventually guessed and worked my bullshitting magic to justify my guess and, of course, when I finally left and checked my book I came to the totally shocking realization that I was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy off.

I have no real idea of how well I did on the rest of the test. I had such a panic over that first question that the rest is a blur and when I went through my answers I found a couple more that I had totally screwed up. I fixed them. But I have to wonder how many I missed in my glimpsing. Now I just have to wait and see what my grade is and hope that I did well enough that I don’t have to take the class again.

Ugh. I’m just so tired of this whole thing. I just want my fucking degree. I think about having to deal with this for another year and I want to cry. I want to quit so bad. I just want to have a job and to take care of my family. I don’t want to burn the candle at both ends, I don’t want to impress people with how much I’m able to juggle. I just want to actually finish more than one load of laundry per week. I want to actually go grocery shopping instead of grabbing two or three things (that I can’t afford anyway) after work. I want to spend time with my kid without worrying about all of the other stuff that I should be doing. And I want a drink, dammit.

4 comments to another semester over

  • Gaby

    Grammar? With Hopper? Good God, I loathed that man. I really don’t hate people, but I hated him. When I wrote him an email to tell him that I wouldn’t make it to class because my Dad had just called to tell me my Grandma was in the ER (in Illinois), dying, he responded, “Well, can’t you come to class anyway? I’ll even let you answer your phone!”

    By the time I received that gracious offer, my Grandma had died, and I was scrambling to figure out how to get home to be with my family, who were hundreds of miles away. I simply replied, “I will be out for a few days. I will make up the work when I return.” He was the only faculty member who couldn’t be bothered to express the smallest bit of sympathy when I returned (everyone else was really nice and supportive while I scrambled to catch up–did I mention this was only about a month into the program?!).

    Sorry for the hate spewing, especially if you didn’t have Hopper. Just the mere thought of grammar makes the hate rise again. I hope your final went better than you expect, and that you get a couple of strong drinks in you to help you recover.

  • Cat

    Are you at least finished for the semester? Yeah, that’s how I did on my algebra midterm, except minus all the studying. SO STRESSFUL!

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