I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

bats are passe. hit the ball with your glock!

Back when a dude broke into our house, and after the initial shock wore off, the husband and I had some questions. Like, why would the guy take the cumbersome and not very valuable DVDs and not the lightweight and higher-street-value Wii? (By the way, ne’er-do-wells who may be reading, that is NOT an invitation to finish what that jackass started.) The cop chuckled and shook his head at our naivete.

“You would steal that because you have common sense. Criminals like this guy do NOT have common sense,” he explained.

A lack of common sense is probably responsible for the events that transpired earlier this evening.

The baby’s baseball practices started tonight. The husband and I were chilling on the bleachers, giggling at our scrawny kid rounding the bases. A mom behind me yelled at someone: “GO FIGHT SOMEWHERE ELSE! THERE’S KIDS HERE!” I jerked around and saw two young men, one no longer wearing a shirt, walking toward their cars and continuing to argue. The husband and I shook our heads at their stupidity and went back to watching the practice.

I turned around again to see if they were still arguing and noticed that one of the guys was pointing something at the other guy. Something silver. And shiny.

“Hey,” I said to the husband. “Does that guy have a gun?”

In retrospect, my reaction to this new information was really puzzling. I turned back around and went back to watching the practice, not really concerned that someone was brandishing a firearm just a few yards from where my son was. Luckily, the other parents had their BAD THING thinking caps on and yelled at the coaches to get the kids out of the immediate area and started calling 911.

I turned back around and watched the rest of the events unfold. From what I could gather, the two guys were fighting over a woman and there may have been some custody issues. Other parents went over to yell at the guy, but I tend to stay away from people with guns. Yosemite Sam’s girlfriend became irritated with the confrontational parents and whined, “He put the gun away! Gawd! What’s your problem?”

No common sense. I don’t know who shows up at a kids’ baseball practice to start some shit. I don’t know who brings a gun to a kids’ baseball practice. I don’t know who draws a gun at a kids’ baseball practice. And I really don’t know who asks such a dumb fucking question as, “What’s your problem?” when a gun is pulled with 50 kids, including presumably one of their own, nearby.

4 comments to bats are passe. hit the ball with your glock!

  • holy fcking sht. i want to die a little. can those people banned? also–oh boy i really just want this story to be told to those who are all “concealed weapons are fine. you will wish you had one too!” no i won’t. i don’t want you to have one either, idiot. but guns are in the constitution! don’t take them away. yes, but there is no kind of test to get one to prove you are not an idiot.

    sorry, i went on a toot there, but i don’t know about you but i am not wanting your son to go back to baseball! totally irrational but sheesh. someone stop those people!

  • Joy

    You did better than I would have. I would have totally lost my shiznet! What did you tell the kiddo happened?

  • I’m so glad that someone else acts like brothers with their husband. My husband and I act like brothers all the time. We sneak ninja kick one another in the shin (out of no where, of course!) We pull pranks on one other. The strange brotherly love never ends in this house.

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