I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

a few quick rants

The baby’s school instituted this new 6-day school week schedule this year. So the various classes that they don’t have everyday (ie, library, gym, music) are on different days every week. There’s no, “gym is on Mondays, library is on Tuesdays,” etc. Gym will be on, like, days 1 and 3 and library is on day 2 and so on and somewhere around the third day of the school year I got completely lost.

From my end, the schedule has been a total failure but I haven’t heard about them returning to reality where school is Monday through Friday and things make sense. So yesterday the baby got a notice for an overdue library book and owes them $18. I’m really angry about it, even though the baby and I signed this agreement thing saying that we understood library policies and blah blah but fucking seriously? Look, I’m sorry that I have to do these pesky things like “have a job” and “go to school” to “better my life” and not sit down every morning to figure out if Monday is actually the first day of the week or the third but I guess me learning this twisted math is worth $18. Jerks.

I’m a pretty healthy person. I mean, I don’t have any chronic illnesses or anything seriously wrong with me. And yet I have to see a general practitioner once a year for a physical (theoretically), an eye doctor once a year because I can’t see for shit, a gynecologist once a year to keep my, uh, motor running, and a dentist twice a year to keep me in solid foods (also theoretically). All of these appointments have to happen during work hours, which means at least five times a year I have to figure out a day when my work and school schedules aren’t completely ballistic and try to match that up with the doctor schedules which, if it’s even possible, are more ridiculous than the baby’s school schedule.

Mind you, these are just MY appointments. I can’t even think about the baby’s pediatrician, dentist, and allergist, and the two or three OTHER places that he has to go to for tests for the allergist, because if I think about that right now I may very well break something. (Happy place. Happy place.)

I’ve not successfully made it to a single doctor’s appointment yet this year because I have to make them so far in advance that by the time the appointment comes around, I have some other school or work obligation and I can’t make it. I’m pretty sure my dentist doesn’t even want to speak to me anymore and I’ve been trying to get in with my GP to get a physical because a) my parents recently jumped on my back about that because I now have Very Serious Cancer in my immediate family history and b) I want to get my learner’s permit renewed in the hopes that I can finally get my driver’s license. I get the impression that the husband is tired of driving me around because at least once a week he says something along the lines of, “You really need to get your fucking license.” (The fact that I’ve not passed the test yet is a whole other rant because I see the fucking nimrods that are allowed to just drive around legally every day and it makes my blood boil and I really need to just ask the asshole driving along at 20 MPH in the left lane the name of the assclown who licensed him. Ass.)

Anyway, it would be so totally rad if I could have like a Doctor’s Day where I maybe take the morning off of work, go to ONE building and see all of the necessary doctors in one day.

I just had to reschedule my physical because I can’t get to the appointment in time because of class and transportation and I’m just so fucking sick of taking care of shit like this.

There’s also the matter of all doctors nowadays maintaining multiples offices and what the fuck is that about? Now I have to remember that my dentist is only in my local office on Tuesdays and Thursdays and my GP is in my local office only on every third Friday. Because half the time I get an answering service and what exactly is the point of those? All the answering service can do is say, “They’re not in today and I can’t do anything for you.” Why not just get an answering machine that says, “We’re not here. We are at one of our 16 other offices rescheduling those suckers for September 2035 when hopefully they’ll already be dead and we won’t have to deal with them anyway. Call back on the full moon, but only after you’ve planted an asparagus spear and three fingerling potatoes under the south-facing eaves of your house?”

In these darker moods, it seems like life is just a huge pointless circle of shifting obligations and deadlines and I feel like an absolute tool for participating in any of it. I’ll just let Scarface speak for me.

4 comments to a few quick rants

  • Maureen

    All of that totally sucks. I know, I just called my dermatologist to have her look at a crazy mole. I can’t get an appointment for 3.5 months. That shit could turn into a talking, breathing dermoid cyst by then!

    Good luck with all of it.

  • Oh thank God I’m not alone.
    I have nothing constructive to say other than:
    “I know! I know! Yeah me too! I KNOW!!”
    Phew. Well – *I* feel better – I hope you do too.


  • Gaby

    Yes. To all of it. I love that I have to schedule my annual visit with my gyno about 6 months in advance, and it takes an act of Congress to find an opening (in their SCHEDULE, not in my…oh, nevermind), and I’m so relieved to get an appointment that I completely fail to realize that it is set up for approximately the exact week that I should get my period. So, now I get to reschedule. Awesome.

  • Kingston goes to school 6 days a week? Or do they just number them that way? Like Monday – friday = 1-5 and the following Monday is a 6? I dont get it?

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