kennywood stats

Mandatory annual trip to Kennywood: completed Friday, August 14th (just under the self-imposed deadline)

High temperature on date of trip: 92 F

Humidity: 6 bajillion %

People in attendance: seemingly the entire population of the tri-state area. Apparently, there was a picnic happening that day for employees of Giant Eagle. This was funny to us because our last few trips to Idlewild have always coincided with Italian Day, during which you cannot spit without hitting five guys named Tony and the tarantella will haunt your dreams for weeks afterward. We managed to avoid that crappy timing this year, but were at Kennywood while Italian Day was going on at Idlewild. We’re subconsciously drawn to crowds, which is funny because we hate people. But I guess we need stuff to bitch about.

Hours at Kennywood: 9

Rides enjoyed: only 10 (see also: People in attendance)

Vomit puddles spotted and narrowly avoided: 2

Buckets sweated: At least 35

Potato Patch fries consumed: about 10, personally. Chewing and digesting made me sweat more.

Other fried goods consumed: sadly, none

Children whose lives I changed (probably for the worst) by shoving him onto the Phantom’s Revenge with me: 1 (mine)

How I accomplished that: we told him we were in line for the Turnpike. (This charade didn’t last that long, but I did have to convince him that we would come out the other side alive and days later I’m not sure that he believes me yet.)

Number of times I saw that lady that I always see at Kuhn’s who kind of looks like the Cryptkeeper: 1

Minutes I blatantly stared at her: too many

Number of stars for that night’s post-Kennywood shower and slumber: Five. With a bullet.

kim

August 19th, 2009 at 1:20 pm

Entire population was not there. I’ve never been. Please don’t tell anyone. Our secret.

bolt

August 19th, 2009 at 1:27 pm

When Will and I went to Kennywood in July, we were there on the Steamfitters’ Union Day. I would have sworn that everyone was there THAT day! Before we even entered, I declared that I didn’t want to be there and wanted to go home – should have gone with my gut instinct. I think we rode a whopping 8 rides annnddd we were forced to park in the farthest parking spot EVER. Like, we HAD to take the freaking ski lift and everything. Add that to some construction going on along the route there when it took us 1.75 hours to get there. Unfun. Okay, it was fun, but fuck that.

jive turkey

August 19th, 2009 at 2:07 pm

LULZ at the Kuhn’s Cryptkeeper lady. I think I have seen her family members at Kuhn’s from time to time. Also disturbing: when I say “Kuhn’s” to people who are not from Pittsburgh, and they look at me like they absolutely cannot believe the words that just came out of my mouth.