Semi-dark days at the moment. While managing to dodge most of the ill effects of the crippled economy over the past year, our little family finds ourselves staring it in the face. It is definitely Goliath and we are definitely David.
We’re still afloat for now, but both of our student loans are coming due. Mine is due now because I chose to take only one class this semester, hoping to maintain some sanity that is so hard to find when I take two classes.
Trying to find jobs when there are simply none to be had is incredibly demoralizing. We keep feeling embarrassed and remorseful for taking the risk of getting degrees, which, I know, is a shitty attitude to have.
I’m pushing my feelings of indignation aside (we did everything that we were supposed to do. we worked hard. we sacrificed. we put in a lot of extra effort. we fucking bootstrapped, for god’s sake. and because some flunkie MBAs had their frat brothers hook them up with jobs, the economy is wheezing along and despite having three excellent degrees between us, we struggle.), for they help no one and only serve to give me some much-needed outbursts from time to time.
No one owes me a thing.
I am alive. The food that I ate today was nourishing and delicious. My family, both the members that I have blood ties to and the people that I choose to call my family, is amazing and full of love. I am not alone. I will wake up again tomorrow and fight and serve another day.