kittens and roid rage

I’m short on time today, but I wanted to toss these two, unrelated bits at you.

Bit the First:

When we were leaving Wal-Mart on Sunday night, someone was standing by the door giving out free kittens. No lie. I heard “free kittens,” and my head snapped around and the guy doling the fuzzballs out locked eyes with me, pointed at me and then pointed at the kitten he was holding. NOT FAIR, MAN.

We seriously considered it. Or at least, I seriously considered it, if you are of the mind that, “KIIIIIIIITTENZ NOM!” qualifies as such. But, ultimately, we went home kitten-less, our reasoning being a) we don’t know where those kittens have been so they might be riddled with disease or zombies b) we really don’t need a kitten right now and c) our cat would hate us.

Bit the Second:

Another lovely feature of my awesome kitchen is our dishwasher. Now, I’m glad to have a dishwasher at all. And considering that the one we have is from the first Reagan administration or somewhere thereabouts, it’s in fantastic shape. It’s one of those “portable” dishwashers that isn’t hooked up hard to your plumbing, but is freestanding and can be wheeled over to the sink and run from there.

Because of the way our kitchen is laid out (stupidly), the dishwasher sits across the room, opposite from the sink. When I want to run it, I have to swing it around, hook it up to the sink, then thread the power cord behind the oven to the only nearby outlet.

Every time I swing the dishwasher around, I bump it into the oven. Every time. And the other night I was going through this ridiculous routine and sure enough, *smash.* Suddenly, I thought, “This is the one activity that I probably have in common with people who do lots of steroids or PCP. Somewhere, some asshole is throwing the dishwasher at the oven, just like me.”

4 Responses to “kittens and roid rage”

  1. jive turkey Says:

    HA! Yeah, throwing the dishwasher at the oven is pretty much one shooting-up-under-your-toenails scene away from being an episode of Intervention. God, I love that show. And they filmed one in Pittsburgh this year! OOO! Hometown junkies!

  2. kdiddy Says:

    @jive turkey, KDKA needs to adopt Hometown (Hometahn) Junkies as a regular segment with Dave Crawley.

  3. Jennie Says:

    I love that the guy pointed at you and then at the kitten. That’s right out of a sitcom.

  4. jess s Says:

    one of the houses i almost bought had a freestanding dishwasher across the room from the sink, with a set up like you are describing. i actually had a sleepless night where i had to soulsearch and ask myself if i could really swing around the dishwasher and have it in the middle of the room to do dishes. our offer fell through, though, so unfortunately i can’t join you in a pcp-fueled rage, except in spirit.

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