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things i hate about valentine’s day

The husband and I are not big Valentine’s Day people. Sometimes we do stuff to mark the occasion, but usually we don’t. This year, we had some tentative plans, but we got some bad news a few days beforehand and were just too bummed out to care.

For whatever reason, the past few years, I’ve started to develop really strong opinions and feelings about holidays and how people view them. Around Christmas, I kept getting really irritated with Christmas haters. I know Christmas as an institution creates expectations about really heavy things like family, joy, and the like. And I know that a lot of people have shitty things happen to them in life that make the Christmas microscope on those heavy things way too much to deal with. I just…I don’t know.

Valentine’s Day also has me cranky.

The baby’s school was closed all last week and I haven’t heard of any plans that the school has to make up any Valentine’s Day celebrations. That bummed me out. I always really liked making my Valentines box and as long as no one is excluded from Valentines, it’s fun having a party with your classmates.

I think that’s telling. Perhaps Valentine’s Day, to me, is more of a kids’ holiday, even though kids aren’t (or shouldn’t be) big on the romance. The cutesyness of it makes me think of crushes and puppy love and passing notes.

Anyway, I think I’ve nailed down a list of behaviors that people exhibit around this holiday that drive me bonkers.

– Being super into Valentine’s Day. “I got roses and a four-star meal and a beautiful, heartfelt card and breakfast in bed and diamonds and wee!” No, I know. You like doing something special. Cool. I think this is more me bristling at how Valentine’s Day is another arena for public displays of affection, which make me very uncomfortable in almost whatever form that they take. One of my biggest regrets about Facebook is that I sometimes catch, via my news feed, whatever moronic baby talk people I know and (used to) respect say to each other. I’ve seen whole arguments and make-ups (though not the sex, thankfully) take place on wall-to-wall interactions and I don’t get it. Why do that? And if Facebook is your main communication tool, why not message your significant other? I’m not going to act like I’m totally private about my relationship. I write some mushy stuff here and, heck, our wedding was one big make-out fest. But for the most part, I feel like constant PDA signals some degree of insecurity in the relationship and a need for outside validation.

– Being super anti-Valentine’s Day. Granted, the previous group is hard to take, and if you are less than thrilled about your romantic status, Valentine’s Day can be just another obnoxious obstacle to getting on with life. People can be very idiotic. And if you find the super-pro-Valentine’s crowd to be indirectly antagonistic, do your best to ignore them. They’re suckers.

– Complaining about how commercial it is. Um, unless you live in a society very different from ours, everything is very commercial. For every single aspect of our life, there is something you can buy to aid or commemorate it. Find something interesting to gripe about.

– Stating that, for you and your wonderful schmoopie, everyday is Valentine’s Day and/or lecturing people that everyday should be Valentine’s Day. I don’t understand this assertion. Valentine’s Day should be more like any other day? Or every day should contain some worship of how awesome you are? Nah. Shit happens and some days you are so thoroughly OVER your significant other because life can be really trying sometimes. And, really, unless there’s something seriously wrong, don’t lecture people about how they should carry out their relationship or how it should be more like yours.

– Sending flowers to the workplace. Yawn. Also, it has this…sinister undertone to it. Because while it may be partially intended to brighten your loved one’s day, the other motivation is to make co-workers jealous and, really, why are you thinking about how others perceive your expressions of love? Grow a pair.

10 comments to things i hate about valentine’s day

  • I’m just in it for the excuse to eat a lot of candy.
    .-= Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah´s last blog ..Reading Teacher of the Year, Right Here =-.

  • @Lizzie You are a wily one. I like your style.
    .-= Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah´s last blog ..Reading Teacher of the Year, Right Here =-.

  • In summation:
    Dear Human Race,

    You all bug the shit out of me.


    .-= Snarky Amber´s last blog ..Scary. =-.

  • I feel like it’s kind of weird to have any really strong feelings about Valentine’s Day at all. I mean, it’s kind of nice to have a day devoted to expressing love, but like anything else designed for that purpose, it’s as much about selling shit as anything else, and you just have to be selective about what you want to invite in. I’m not bitter about it, and people who are kind of drive me nuts, too, as do people who gripe constantly about Christmas being so commercial. Like every day of every year, it’s just another day to live the way you want to live, and to invite into your life what you want to have in it.
    .-= Sara´s last blog .. =-.

  • this ties into every point you’ve made, diddy – valentine’s day should be handled in a manner similar to the other, less famous V.D. Privately, with the people you *need* to share it with, and in a manner appropriately related to the severity.

  • Ed

    I once had a very long drought, where Valentine’s Day was moot. I didn’t become a hater, but it did shrink to the point of becoming just another Hallmark Holiday. What I’ve observed lately is that the people who go at it whole hog do pretty much the same thing that my wife and I do on our anniversary. And it’s good to have a day where the primary focus is the simple fact that we’re *us*. On February 14, we exchange mushy cards, but that’s about it.

    As for candy, we’re perfectly happy with a bar of Lindt 70%, with the occasional Godiva dark chocolate heart thrown in, or maybe some Dan’s. The only thing you should do with a box of Russell Stover is put wicks through them and use them for candles.

  • I’ve been trying to figure out why I don’t care one way or the other about Valentine’s Day, and I think you found it–I think I do perceive it as a kids holiday. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose.
    .-= Burgh Baby´s last blog ..Fire Up the Deloreon =-.

  • ozma

    Aw, I’m sorry. I’m a Christmas hater. Well, not a hater. I just would not care one whit if we never celebrated Christmas again. No…I’m not that bad. We could sit and eat. If it were more like Thanksgiving, that would be nicer.

    But it’s OK with me what everyone else does with their Christmas.

    This Valentine’s Day my husband and daughter came into the room and said “Happy Valentine’s Day!” in unison. Then…I suddenly realized I had an intense craving for chocolate truffles two days later and wanted some truffles. But I didn’t know where to get them so I called my husband said “buy me a chocolate mousse cake” I was going to split it with my daughter but he bought this enormous cake and we ate it and all got sick. On February 15th. And that was Valentine’s Day. The end.

  • mouthy_broad

    i did love valentine’s parties as a child! super fun to make the box and eat candy and have fun. great winter break.

    now i am all meh. although i am married, i have felt as an adult that valentine’s somehow is just out there to make single people feel bad. and that as a concept sucks. esp. all the couples i know are mostly indifferent to it.
    .-= mouthy_broad´s last blog ..June is for Camping =-.

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