I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

don't cross the (twitter) streams

I’ve been limping around the internet as kdiddy since mid-2001. The husband, who was then the boyfriend, was helping me to come up with a new moniker as I began the slow, painful process of cutting my ties with my AOL address. At the time, Puff Daddy had recently christened himself Pdiddy, which was the most hilarious example of celebrity self-aggrandizing at the time. Obviously, this was before the Hiltons and all of their dingleberry knockoffs started making headlines on CNN, the “people” from Jersey Shore, and the Palins. Now, the Pdiddy debacle seems almost quaint and humble, a mere re-branding. No biggie (ohh, see what I did there?).

The boyfriend suggested kdiddy and after laughing heartily about how clever and pop-culture-savvy we were, I adopted kdiddy for my first non-AOL email. Well, first non-AOL email aside from my Pitt email, which was nothing too special. And I barely used it because up until my senior year, I had to access it using Pine and since I’ve already established that I was then a dedicated AOL user, you can imagine my bafflement at something like Pine. I vaguely remember never mastering some very basic task, like replying, maybe. It was some contorted keyboard command and I don’t have Rachmaninoff hands.

Since then, I’ve encountered other kdiddys (kdiddies?) and while I usually get a twinge of indignation, I’m fine with not being the most original person on the internet. What I hadn’t anticipated was Pdiddy dubbing his proteges with names that are variations of his.

My Twitter handle, @kdiddy (duh), is very close to that of Pdiddy protege Kalenna, which is @KDIDDYBOP.

I remember a couple of months ago seeing a reply to me pop up on Twitter that didn’t make much sense, but I dismissed it as spam. But these misfires now happen at least twice a month, and though they seem to be corrected and/or deleted after a short time, I always delight in seeing my “name” mistakenly mentioned in a tweet that is usually in all caps and contains excessive punctuation and use of “LOL.”

Case in point:

“My brother @kdiddy Okewa booked the Monica TOUR!!!! oh lay do it!!!! L O V E! God is @ workkkkk. Let’s Goooooo!!!!”

Apparently, I’m going on tour with Monica. If it were 1995 right now, I’m be PUMPED. Just one of dem days.

“Leo’s RT @KDIDDYBOP: RT @DRockStar2010: RT @DawnRichard: OBAmA’S bRTHDAY IS TODAY …. mIne is tomorrow ….@kdiddy”

My birthday isn’t actually until October 31st, but I am perfectly happy to celebrate with this fine group of people. I mentioned I’m going to be in New York this weekend, right? Diddy, can you hear me?

I have not yet worked up the nerve to reply to any of these tweets, but if I do, I fully intend to bluff my way into some kind of super-group through the cunning use of Twitter. Then you can say you knew me when.

4 comments to don’t cross the (twitter) streams

  • Pine was the WORST! It was like DOS based and really? There was internet in the 90s (when I went to college) why was our email on Pine? (I bet ASU’s email is still on Pine.)

    There is an @kristabella1 on Twitter. She likes Twilight and vampires. I get a lot of weird @ replies.

    • @Kristabella, well, Pitt isn’t known for being a trailblazer with technology services. I graduated in 2003 and we were still filling out paper registration forms. Old-fashioned, sure, but I can’t say that it didn’t work just fine (and required one to see an advisor to register, which meant that I was sometimes able to weasel into classes!). I’ve seen a few people around here using Pine or something similar. I’m just not that concerned with being so 1337.

  • Mary (of Doom)

    This is why I stick with Mary of Doom, because I’ve never met another one of me on the Interbang. :)

  • Ah, the days of Pine. Now, THAT takes me back. Dude, don’t be knockin’ Pine. I had a boyfriend out of the country in ’94 and we couldn’t afford the $1/minute phone conversations. Pine kept my heart aflutter.

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