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30 days of truth: day 4

Something you have to forgive someone for…

I think I’m a pretty forgiving person. I feel like I used to be more extreme about it and used to completely write people out of my life for various transgressions that I perceived to be personal attacks. But with time I think I began to recognize more and more that there have been very few instances where someone acted in a way that was specifically to hurt me. Most of the time, people just act foolish and end up hurting others and we’re all guilty of that at least once in our lives. And really, life is too short to stay angry at people.

There are a few things that continue to bug me, though, that I really need to let go.

Obviously, I need to forgive everyone who was critical or unsupportive or acted in a way that I didn’t like about my pregnancy. Their words and actions didn’t come from a place of hate and while their execution was definitely shitty, it was their way of expressing concern for me and the husband and the baby. Relatedly, I need to forgive my mom and grandmother for forbidding anyone to throw baby shower for me before the baby was born, insisting that they would throw one for me after his birth. They never did. It wasn’t an intentional slight, just a casualty of life being busy, but it made me feel shitty.

I need to forgive the husband for not getting a job right away like we thought he would. It’s not his fault. And while he could be more fervent in his job search, we probably wouldn’t be in any different position than we are now. He’s not unemployed because he likes seeing me struggle. I know that. I just have to remind myself of it when I’m feeling like I’m doing all of this alone, because I’m not.

I need to forgive my dad for saying I was just like my mom and I need to forgive my mom for saying I was just like my dad. Neither observation was a compliment. They didn’t say those things to hurt me, but it sucked to hear both for various reasons.

I need to forgive my grandmother for being so opinionated. I really don’t like some of the things she has to say, but again, she doesn’t mean to hurt me.

I need to forgive the Steelers for losing to the Patriots in the 2004 AFC Championship game while I suffered frostbitten toes to cheer them toward victory.

Day 01 Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

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