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the year that was

I have a year-in-review meme that I thought I did every year but I can’t seem to find it for last year. Weird.

Anyway, here it is for 2010.

1. Where did you begin 2010?

In my living room with the husband and the sister-in-law and her boyfriend.

2. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

I ran. Writing this post, I looked back at my posts from the beginning of the year, and especially from when the husband’s job fell through. I was so sad. So, so sad and so very scared of what would become of us. When the winter finally started to let up, I started the Couch to 5k program. I really didn’t think I would be able to finish it, but I just kept doing it. Jogging a few times a week gave me 30 to 45 minutes where I was working toward a goal, sweating out a lot of nastiness, and pounding the ground beneath me, leaving everything behind for a bit. It was cathartic in a way that I didn’t know was possible. I still jog at least once a week and would like to do it more.

I walked across the stage of an auditorium and had my master’s degree placed in my hands. The associate head of my department, who works closely with me and who was the person to give me the diploma, said to me, “This is really such a rush,” and grinned the grin of an educator who sees her life’s work being well spent on someone who truly wanted to learn. I made a lot of people proud that day and that’s pretty cool.

3. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t really make resolutions because I think I like to ease into things rather than be like, “Okay, doing this starting NOW.” I want to jog more and figure out a way to work it into almost every day. I’ve lost about 20 pounds over the past year and would like to lose about 20 more. I started eating much better and adopted a much better attitude toward food and my body and would like to continue that. I also need to read more books.

4. Were you in school (anytime this year)?

No! I’ve had momentary flashes of, “Ooh, that class sounds interesting,” but they’re quickly replaced with the realization that I could just do anything else and it goes away. Maybe in the next few years I’ll have the strength to audit a class here and there, but I think I’m officially done with formal education.

5. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My co-worker/officemate had a baby girl and I feel like I haven’t really met her yet because both times she’s come to visit her office aunts she’s been asleep. The brat.

6. Did anyone close to you die?

No. Though we thought that my mother-in-law’s dog was going to kick the bucket (again) and she made a miraculous recovery (again) and it’s emotionally exhausting so I’ve decided that the goddamned dog is immortal the end.

7. What places did you visit?

Washington, D.C., Detroit, MI, New York, NY, Philadelphia, PA

8. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

Less fear and I would prefer that we accomplish that by having two incomes but some kind of like inner peace or whatever would work, too, I guess.

9. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

The only big date that I can think of is my graduation ceremony but I can’t remember what the precise date was. So, “some time in mid-May” will be the date etched upon my memory.

10. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

The aforementioned Couch to 5k and general big strides in my health and wellbeing, my graduation ceremony. I think I calmed down a lot.

11. What was your biggest failure?

Though I did calm down a lot, I’m stilly pretty anxious a lot of the time and get too upset about things that I can’t control and then lash out at people about it. It’s shitty. I don’t like myself for it. I wish I was better.

12. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Thankfully, no. Just the stomach virus thing a few weeks ago. And my PMS seemed to turn some kind of corner into crazytown. Need to tend to that.

13. What was the best thing you bought?

Roller skates! Though I’m still far from being an expert roller skater, I feel pretty bad ass marching into the rink with my skates. And they’re much prettier than those brown rental skates.

14. Whose behavior merited celebration?

The baby is 9, which is a weird age. He doesn’t really know how to behave because he’s not a little kid anymore but he’s not a big kid yet, either. So he’s struggling with handling responsibility and wanting more privileges but not acting in a way that affords him that. And getting mad at us when we point that out but mad at himself for knowing he could do better. But really, he’s a good kid, very self-aware, and wants more than anything to be a good person. It’s hard to know how to do that and I don’t think any of us ever figure it out, but at least he’s trying.

15. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Pretty much everyone else. I really kind of don’t understand what people are thinking and why they feel they can just do and say any stupid thing that comes in their head.

16. Where did most of your money go?

All of my money went to paying the bills that I can pay right now. None of it went to savings or toward paying the bills that I can’t pay right now (student loans). And that’s all I want to say about that because it’s so embarrassing and depressing that I don’t want to get into it.

17. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Getting past this shitty point in life somehow and moving forward. It’d be cool if that could happen.

The husband and I celebrating 10 years together. I think that’s pretty cool.

18. What song will always remind you of 2010?

Moments in Life by Andres

19. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Both.
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner.
c) richer or poorer? Poorer.

20. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Reading books, taking pictures, writing, and being with people. I live inside my head too much and that is, uh, a bad neighborhood. Sometimes I need to do that, just be alone so I can think through some stuff, but it’s better for me to be around other people.

21. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Being on the internet. I think I became a little better about just walking away sometimes. I’m having trouble balancing out the time that I spend on here being something that I actively enjoy and something that I do because I’m bored or don’t feel like doing something else.

Fretting about things that I can’t change.

22. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas Eve was at my mother-in-law’s. Christmas morning was at our house, then we went to my mom’s house, then we went to the husband’s family’s house. The actual familial relationship I’m still not clear on, despite being part of the family for some time now.

23. Did you fall in love in 2010?

I fall more in love with the husband and the baby every day.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Boardwalk Empire, Mad Men, The Walking Dead, Big Love, True Blood

25. What did you do for your birthday in 2010?

We had a small party at my mom’s house and went trick-or-treating.

26. What was the best book you read?

Oh, god. I don’t think I actually read any one book from beginning to end this year. This has to change. I used to devour books.

27. What did you want and get?

A new couch, thanks to my mom and a big sale at a local furniture store.

28. What did you want and not get?

Less stress and fear for both me and the husband.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

I’m really glad that we saw True Grit the other day because otherwise it would have been a pretty lackluster movie year. True Grit was awesome.

30. Did you make some new friends this year?

Yep. BlogHer was kind of a goldmine for funny bitches.

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I know it’s stupid to get pissed at a meme, but isn’t this the exact same question as what did you want and not get?

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

Same as its always been: dressed.

33. What kept you sane?

The rad people in my life. Movies. Writing. Louis CK’s comedy.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Celebrities can eat a fat one. Seriously. I don’t give a flying frack.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

The one where people acted like ignorant, over-privileged jackholes. Oh, wait, THAT WAS ALL OF THEM. Yeah, seriously done with every politician, every Republican, every Democrat, every Conservative, every Liberal. None of them has a clue what’s going on or what to do about it but they can’t admit that because shit would be chaotic.

36. Who did you miss?

I don’t know. Frank maybe?

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

I’m not very cheery.

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