you may say to yourself, “my god, what have i done?”

Pretend that I have here a picture of the baby’s last day of school on Wednesday and a comparison shot of his first day of school and, perhaps to torture myself, some half-assed collage of his first and last days of school. I meant to upload those pictures last night but I started playing some stupid game on my computer and it didn’t happen.

But yes, I’m officially the owner of a fourth-grader now, which just seems way too surreal. I only kind of remember third grade. I think the main reason that I remember anything from it at all is because that was the year that I got chicken pox and you don’t really forget that kind of misery (two words: sitz bath) (four more words: pox. inside. my. eyelids.). But I definitely remember the fourth grade so it’s weird to me that all of this is really going to stick in his brain now. Or maybe it won’t since he got that chicken pox vaccine and he won’t have that experience to anchor him.

Little League also ended for us last night in a playoffs defeat. The baby’s team had a really rough season, I think winning only two (maybe three?) games. They had a ton of rain-outs and as a result never really gelled as a team. Oh well. I can’t say that I’m not kind of glad to have our evenings returning to some semblance of a routine and to not get dinner from the concession stand multiple times a week.

I’m not sure what exactly is up with me, but I’ve gone to bed insanely early the last couple nights. I’ve put in at least 9 hours each night and am still forcing myself out of bed, albeit with much less misery on the far too many days that my total sleepage is pathetically low.

As schmoopy and gag-worthy as it sounds, I have a hard time sleeping without the husband and I think his nearly week-long absence caught up with me.

In other schmoopy and gag-worthy news, today is our fifth wedding anniversary.

All together now: "Awwwwww!"

When we mentioned it to the baby this morning, he said something along the lines of “Time flies,” and it really does.

I was looking through my “Wedding” folder that I have on my work computer (yes, I did some wedding planning at work, couldn’t be helped) for something and came across the track list for the mix CD that we handed out as favors. Among the songs that we chose was “Once in a Lifetime” by the Talking Heads, which seems kind of odd since it’s a somewhat cynical look at life and marriage and adulthood. But listening to it today I thought about how there have been plenty of times already when I wondered who I was and what I was doing, certain that I had screwed up terribly. There have been plenty of times when I have, in fact, said to myself, “My god, what have I done?” But when I take a good long look at the husband and the baby, I know exactly what I’ve done and I know exactly how good it is.

2 Responses to “you may say to yourself, “my god, what have i done?””

  1. Emily Says:

    What a great post, Kelly. Happy Anniversary to you both! And god, I love that song.

  2. MissyB Says:

    Haha! I do, too. 🙂

    I know you’ve made each other better people, as cliche’d as that sounds.. You have a gorgeous family. It’s been an honor and a pleasure to see it evolve through the filter of your posts. Mostest biggest congratulations!!!

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