I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

jesus doesn't want me for a sunbeam. i think he'd like to hang out, though.

One of the churches in our neighborhood (I’m not exactly sure where it is because, surprise, I don’t seek these things out) is having a festival this weekend. I’ve seen signs posted all over for it and whenever I read the name of the festival, Resurrection Fun Flair, I can feel my tongue locking up because my brain wants it to be “Fun Fair” and that extra L just totally messes with me. So my brain goes through several iterations of “Resurrlection Fun Fair,” “Resurrection Flun Fair,” “Lesurrection Fun Fair,” trying to figure out where exactly that L goes until I finally read, “Resurrection Fun Flair.” Then I have to take a nap from the exertion.

The signs are mostly very basic that someone with an old version of Microsoft Publisher or something did. Then there’s this one rogue sign on a barrier rail on Brookline Boulevard that is made up of a huge banner with the church’s name and a very plain sign next to it with the name and dates of the festival. Its size and starkness always strikes me when we go past it because it’s like:

RESURRECTION FUN FLAIR JULY 6, 7, 8, 9

So while half of my brain is doing its usual, “Resurrl–…Lesurr–…Flun–…” tap dance, the other half starts giggling about the word “resurrection” being so prominently placed next to the word “fun,” and suddenly this image is all I can think about:

Party up in hurr!

Clearly, no thought is safe in my head.

* * *

Speaking of my head, I wrote a little bit about my bummedness over on MamaDojo this week, which was partially prompted by facing my student loans and being completely terrified by what I saw. I spent some time being upset about it for all of the usual reasons: debt, paying for something I kinda sorta regret a little, handing over money that I would rather set aside for my baby, various other dreams that might not come true because of this money, etc. Pure melancholia. But in this period of, “Less mope, more action,” that I’m in, I put fingers to keyboard, got it out, invited others to share their current woes, then got to work. I researched my options without panicking and quitting and sticking my head back in the sand and I think I actually found a feasible solution, a way through this financial muck that won’t choke me. I’m only kind of irritated with myself for not doing this sooner and instead allowing myself nearly two years of anguish because that somehow seemed like the most appropriate way to deal with it. I can’t get mad at myself for being ignorant in the past.

Alright, enough of this Stuart Smalley business. The weekend is upon us.

2 comments to jesus doesn’t want me for a sunbeam. i think he’d like to hang out, though.

  • Emily

    I love the line “No thought is safe in my head.” I also love your description of the sign, and am excited that you have a feasible option for the debt stuff. Debt is my least favorite part of being an adult (I think).

  • Kirsten

    I haven’t been at church for the better part of 7 months…. but you’ve just put the Primary songs back in my head….

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