I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

this house is clean

I write to you from day 3 of my juice cleanse and you know what? It’s not bad at all. I’ve been following the travails of the Serious Eats crew, who were one day ahead of me and decided to read the comments, hoping for some input from other people who have done it. The problem was that I forgot that Serious Eats is a huge site and has the douchey commenters to go with it, nearly all of whom ridiculed the juicers for being stupid and buying into fads. My instant reaction: “They hate me, too.” Because that’s the kind of super-sensitive-you-hurt-my-fee-fees week I’m having.

I mean, I get that plunking down some pretty serious bucks on 18 bottles of juice with perhaps little to no scientific research behind their efficacy is pretty dumb, but for me I was really needing to do some serious resetting. The cleanse gave me the opportunity to really examine how I behave about food and what kinds of hunger give me anxiety and what my instinctive reactions are. Do I feel “cleansed?” I don’t know. Physically, I don’t feel wildly different, and I didn’t experience any lightheadedness or other signs that I was without food, aside from an odd brand of dry mouth. (Though I did try to roll up my yoga mat while I was still standing on it yesterday, which was not my finest moment.) Mentally, though, I feel much better and I’ll take what I can get in that arena these days.

My point is, people spend a lot of money on much dumber things.

Just sayin'

Another cool side effect is that my sense of smell is super heightened. And not in the early-pregnancy “Ugh, what is that?” way. But everything smells so amazing right now. I guess my sense of taste is getting something of a rest since I don’t have the juice in my mouth as long as I do food, so my nose is picking up the slack. Yesterday, there was a mobile BBQ truck on campus for an orientation event and I swear I walked past it three or four times just to take in the aroma. Then I scowled at the people in line. “Look at them. Just grabbing the BBQ like it’s whatever. They don’t understand the magical meat that they’re holding in their hands!”

It’s also made me more excited about ramping up my already healthy eating. Like one of the Serious Eats writers, it made me a little more confident to have more vegan days during the week than I already do. Though, obviously, I’m not going full vegan any time soon (see: BBQ lust). This morning on the bus, a guy in front of me was having a frosted honey bun and a huge bottle of Brisk iced tea. It made me feel ill. But not sanctimonious! Eat what you like. Swearsies.

Tomorrow I’m supposed to take it easy introducing foods back into my life, but I don’t think I’ll be able to resist a bowl of oatmeal or my first cup of coffee since Monday (!). The caffeine part, by the way, was not too bad. Last night, I decided to drink some chai and nearly vibrated out of the house. I’m also surprised at my energy level, which I guess is the other physical effect. I don’t feel like I could run a 5k, per se, but I do feel light and unburdened.

Anyway, the husband and the baby are in New York this weekend. I’m excited to have some time to myself, but I do miss them something terrible. Especially when the husband sends me pictures like this:

He fell asleep reading last night. Could you die? Also, apparently one of the first things that he did upon arriving in NYC was to buy a Kangol hat.

I freaking love that kid so damn much.

3 comments to this house is clean

  • Um, your kid is awesome. But I suppose you already knew that.

    Congrats on the cleanse! I always think cleanses must involve inordinate amounts of urgent and traumatic pooping, but I know that’s not always the case. I just had to do one of those horrible colonscopy prep things once, and even though I did feel pretty awesome after being, uh, CLEANSED, I always think cleanses will be like that. Even though I know that’s not necessarily true. (RIGHT?!)

    • I, um, haven’t really gone much at all. Just a lot of peeing. However, I would like to remind people that when you drink beet juice, your, uh, solid waste will be similarly colored. You are not, in fact, pooping blood. Not that I freaked out over that or anything.

  • He is so, so cute. But you know that.

    I did a yoga workshop last weekend. The instructor is a Ph.D candidate in immunology, who studies digestion and obesity. Yummy! Anyway, it was a really great experience and it focused partially on cleanses. She is ridiculously fit and her two-hour class kicked my ass, but I’m convinced that the hot yoga I’ve done since January has changed my body AND my mind.

    I am so scared to try the cleanse stuff, because I get so weird when I don’t eat (as opposed to my weird when I do) but her descriptions made it sound less scary. (Except for her descriptions of what is left in my stomach. Gah. :)) Thanks for talking about it — helps to hear that it went okay for you.

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