I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

what i was really thinking

Local blogging phenom JanePitt does these pretty hilarious recaps of Steeler games which feature her witty and hilarious captions on pictures from the games. She calls them “What They’re Really Thinking.”

A few weeks ago, I got an email with a link to pictures of me crossing the finish line at the Great Race. I was pleased because my mom wasn’t able to find me from where she was watching and I had been slightly bummed that there was no record of my moment of, uh, triumph. I’m not planning to buy any of them because the pictures aren’t that great, but I did take some screen caps. I present them to you as my own version of What I Was Really Thinking.

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I understand now why people are always so alarmed when they see me post-exercise. Even when I assure them that I’m fine, that I’m better than I look, that my face just gets really, REALLY red, they’re convinced that I’m suffering some kind of coronary event. Looking at this picture, I can see why. It seriously looks like my face is about to melt off.

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As I mentioned in my previous post about the race, getting coffee immediately afterward was a priority. I get headaches if I don’t have coffee in the morning because I’m an addict and I don’t really care about changing that at this juncture. The husband does not drink coffee and likes to position himself as some kind of superior being because of this. Which is fine. Standing over me like that puts him in a great position for a ballpunch. (Bitch.) I did not drink coffee prior to the race because a) I didn’t want to risk peeing my pants by Duquesne University (I’ll leave that to the undergrads) b) I think it’s probably bad for your muscles or whatever to have caffeine immediately prior to strenuous activity and c) I am not really, uh, talented at waking up early so there just wasn’t time for any coffee.

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My official time was 38:28 which is objectively not great. The guy who won clocked in at 15:15, meaning that by the time I pulled in to the finish line, he was probably already at Starbucks drinking up all the pumpkin spice lattes. But I was pretty thrilled with my time, considering about a year and a half ago it would have taken me hours to finish. I did, however, get a little edgy on the way to the end and tried to pass up a few people who I thought I should be able to beat, considering their age and stuff. I realize this makes me kind of a jerk, but oh well.

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I was not entirely successful.

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No disrespect at all to this dude, but when he trotted past me, I realized that I really shouldn’t be struggling to keep up with someone who is probably 20 years older than me and doesn’t look to be in amazing shape. I wasn’t in the greatest health when I was a dancer (smoked cigarettes and didn’t eat), but I could move vigorously for extended periods of time. It really bugs me that I let that go.

However, on the gloating tip, I was far from the last one to finish. I sincerely praise everyone who came out that day and just went for it, but it was encouraging to realize that I wasn’t the slowest one there.

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