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what we talk about when we talk about love at first sight

As of yesterday, the husband and I have been married six years. Yesterday was also Father’s Day, and I thought about how lucky I was as a mother to already know going into our marriage what kind of a father he would be.

wedding007

Added bonus of your unplanned pregnancy? Built-in ringbearer for your nuptials.

A few seconds after that picture was snapped, the baby grabbed my hand and kissed it and the hearts of everyone at or near our wedding exploded. The grounds keepers were a little annoyed. But it perfectly illustrated a point that I made during my vows (where “made” = “blubbered in a most undignified manner”): everything that is good in me and everything that is good in the husband is manifested in that perfect little boy. I didn’t think I could feel more loved at that moment, and then the baby, this weird little person that the husband and I created, took it over the top.

Of course, not one of the three of us is perfect. But I think we would all agree that there is some serious love that gets us through our less graceful moments.

I think about the husband a lot, sometimes when I’m pissed at him about something, or when some chore or task is weighing on my mind: “I need to remember to tell the husband to get x, y, and z and then we need to deal with [insert intimidating grown-up task here]…” But a lot of times I just kind of…daydream? About him and the baby and about how much I love them and how so thoroughly in love I am with my husband. And I feel really fortunate. Someone who was asking me about my wedding a few weeks ago positively marveled at the fact that we were still very much in love after six years. I was puzzled, since six years isn’t very long. But considering the various yucky turns our life together has taken, we could have very well taken it out on each other, instead of relying on each other for strength.

One of the scenes that I love most from any movie is the scene from Big Fish in which Ed sees Sandra for the first time and he describes how time stopped.

No relationship can really be boiled down to any cliche, but love at first sight is a cliche that I think deserves some unpacking. I don’t remember when I saw the husband for the first time ever, but there have definitely been moments since then where I saw him for the first time in a new way and fell in love with him again in such a way that required time to slow down for a second or two. “First sight” doesn’t have to be the first time you ever see someone and it doesn’t have to be just one occasion. For me, it means looking at him with eyes that I didn’t have yesterday and with a heart made stronger by certain experiences and wisdom that we wouldn’t have gained without each other.

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