But, of course, all definitive lists are made to be analyzed, picked apart, and perhaps dismissed. This list was pretty good, but I thought that there were [...]]]> If you travel in the same circles of the internet that I do, then you doubtless ran across this fantastic compilation of the 100 greatest quotes from The Wire.

But, of course, all definitive lists are made to be analyzed, picked apart, and perhaps dismissed. This list was pretty good, but I thought that there were a few glaring omissions.

Omar’s explanation of his profession: “I rip n run…I robs drug dealers.”

Bunk and McNulty’s verbose investigation of a murder scene:

Snoop’s last words and just this scene in general:

This scene always kills me and the lieutenant’s eulogy is gorgeous, particularly his line about Baltimore being a dark corner of the American experiment.

October is, perhaps, my favorite month. It’s firmly in fall and has all of fall’s best features. It’s gorgeous to look at and [...]]]> I’m trying to not think about how far away Starbucks is and how badly I want a Pumpkin Spice Latte, so I started reading back through this blog’s archives and my LiveJournal archives.

October is, perhaps, my favorite month. It’s firmly in fall and has all of fall’s best features. It’s gorgeous to look at and the weather is fantastic. Plus, there’s Halloween, which I love, and my birthday (also on Halloween).

30 days from now, I will turn 31. That number sort of hit me yesterday. I remember talking to a friend last year about turning 30 and she mentioned being totally cool with 30, but 31 kind of got her because she could officially say that she was in her Thirties. 30 sounds kind of cute and grown up. 31 is suddenly, “Oh, this shit is real, huh?”

Anyway, one of the best things that I’ve done in life is to start documenting it on the internet. Honest! I never could commit to a regular diary or journal, but for some reason the internet and I were likethis. Now I can check in with my former self whenever I want.

So, if you like, come check out some past October 1sts with me…

Last year, I was counting down to my 30th birthday. I’m so original.

In 2007, I was in the midst of a four-month long bad mood due to my work and school stress. I would never relive that semester, not for a million dollars. My only regret is that I was most certainly a horrendous bitch to everyone then.

When I moved over here to kdiddy.org, I wasn’t sure what to do with my Live Journal archives. Concerned about some of the things that I wrote when I was younger and not having any efficient system of weeding through past entries, I just made the whole thing private. Hopefully, I’ll get some time to really import everything that I want over here. In the meantime, here’s some cut and paste action for you.

October 1, 2006: I was recovering from one of my grandmother’s Ladies’ Luncheons…

I was taking the phone upstairs to the husband just now and passed by the baby, who was sitting in the entryway, still wearing his dorky outfit that he wore to the luncheon. I asked him what he was doing and he said, “Looking for boots to wear for my Darth Vader costume.”

“Oh,” I replied and headed upstairs.

When I came downstairs, I was confronted by this:

The boots that he found to complete his outfit are these brown dressy boots of mine. Not quite befitting the darkest motherfucker in the galaxy.

Darth Vader: The Dandy Years

ETA: and a video for good measure

My favorite part is about 20 seconds in when he bumps into the couch and tries to play it off. Then he starts in with the “Let ME see. Let ME see,” whining. This video so captures my life.

October 1, 2005: nothing, but I’d like to take this opportunity to say that I think my writing has GREATLY improved since 2004. Holy crap.

October 1, 2004: I was grumbling about abstinence-only education

I was flipping through channels and landed on MTV because they were having one of their Choose or Lose programs and Cristina Aguilera had come to Pittsburgh to do a piece about how sex will be affected in the upcoming election.

My was it entertaining.

I missed the first bit of the show, but when I tuned in she was talking about sex education. For that portion she talked to, among other people, an abstinence group called Silver Ring Thing. Basically, you join this group, you get this silver ring and you make a vow to remain abstinent until marriage. This group is against teaching students about contraception in school because of that whole “mixed message” argument. Anyway, so Ms. Aguilera, who has been somewhat, um, open about her sexuality in the past is talking to these rather prim and very virginal teenagers about what exactly they do with each other. She asked all the tough questions, like, “So I guess you guys don’t, like, dry hump and stuff?” And these kids blush, fiddle with their silver rings and nervously chuckle, “No. Um, Jesus?”

By the way, Bush is planning on spending $268,000,000 on abstinence education in the coming years. That got a big old “Fuck You!” from me. Nothing against abstinence, but dropping that much dough just to tell kids not to “do it” is fucking ludicrous. I don’t care what religious background you come from. At some point I’d like to do a big post about how sexuality is fucked with by folks, but I don’t have the energy for it now and typing on this iMac keyboard gives me TMJ.

But the CRAZIEST part was when I looked up at the screen and saw Rebecca P., a girl that I went to Schenley with and there she was sitting across a table from Cristina Aguilera. I literally did a double take and asked…uh…no one (I was alone) what was going on. Rebecca was being interviewed for the pro-choice/pro-life segment. She gave a decent interview and she looks good. What was weird was that I ran into Rebecca at a Propagandi show about 4 years ago and the last that I had heard was that she was having a baby. However, when the boyfriend asked her how that was going, that was no longer the case and, well, that was an awkward moment because how do you segue out of that conversation? Funnily enough, after wondering aloud like the ignorant pricks that we were who manages to get pregnant accidentally nowadays, the boyfriend and I found ourselves staring the proverbial stork in its fucking smug proverbial beak a few short months later.

I have gas.

October 1, 2003: I was unemployed and concerned about it

My kid got up at 7:30 this morning. This in and of itself is not so much a problem, but I really didn’t get any sleep last night. So when I groggily peeled open my eyes this morning to hear, “MUM! MUM!” I honestly just didn’t believe it. My mom came into my room on her way out the door to go to work to confirm my fears.
Last night, after struggling with Microsoft Word for hours to make a presentable resume, and after putting the crazed baby to bed, the boyfriend and I watched High Fidelity…just because. When that was over, I sort of drifted off to sleep but the boyfriend stayed up and watched more TV. Apparently I started talking in my sleep and the boyfriend played off of it to confuse me, asking me random questions and ordering me to kiss my sock monkey (which I did). Anyway, around 3 a.m. I was forced awake by the ending scenes of Requiem for a Dream. Not pleasant. All of the electric-shock therapy, buttf*cking, limb severing, and prison guard screaming forced me to roll over and look at the boyfriend with my best, “What the fuck?” face. He turned off the TV, but we stayed awake for awhile, chatting and miscellaneous groping. He fell asleep around 4:30 but I was wide awake and thinking about, oh, EVERYTHING. I hate when I do that. I got out my laptop around 5 and just tooled around for a little bit until I finally started to get drowsy again around 6. So, yeah, all and all I think I got about 3 hours of broken sleep. Now I’m up and trying to be SuperMom. I also have to write some stuff for Pulp today (along with 6,000 other things for wintermittens). Yay.

I’ve been taking the bus to and from work. The driver that I’ve had in the morning likes to get on the PA as we cross the Smithfield Street Bridge into town and say, “Good mornin’ ladies and gentlemen. We’re abaht ta enter bee-YOO-tee-full dahntahn Pittsburgh.”

It never fails to make me smile.

I am super busy [...]]]>

I’ve been taking the bus to and from work. The driver that I’ve had in the morning likes to get on the PA as we cross the Smithfield Street Bridge into town and say, “Good mornin’ ladies and gentlemen. We’re abaht ta enter bee-YOO-tee-full dahntahn Pittsburgh.”

It never fails to make me smile.

I am super busy this week at work and my class (last one EVER!) starts today. However, I’ve recruited a few fabulous people to provide some content. Look for that over the next few days.

Love yinz. And have a bee-YOO-tee-full day.

Saturday, I managed to wake up in time for breakfast and went to the opening session, which included a cooking demo using all Wal-Mart ingredients. Helpful, sure, but it’s all Wal-Mart all the time at my house and sometimes I can use a break from the endless parade of Great Value products (Dana commented on [...]]]>

Saturday, I managed to wake up in time for breakfast and went to the opening session, which included a cooking demo using all Wal-Mart ingredients. Helpful, sure, but it’s all Wal-Mart all the time at my house and sometimes I can use a break from the endless parade of Great Value products (Dana commented on one of the unnamed-sponsor lunches, “I don’t want to eat the shit I make at home!”).

There was also an interview with Tina Brown and Ilene Chaiken and another Important Woman who I’ve totally forgotten. I was barely paying attention because I didn’t grab enough coffee. I know that they talked about various forms of media migrating to the internet…which was basically saying, “Print and TV and film are going to take over…soooo bloggers better recognize.” Well, not exactly, but that’s kind of what I read into it. But maybe displaced bloggers can take over TV and movie studios and newspapers? And those will become these retro media giants? And we’ll go back and forth with this power struggle like the Star-Bellied Sneetches? Who have blogs upon thars?

I went to a panel about blogging identity that was pretty interesting. I’m not uncomfortable wearing the title of “mommyblogger,” though it sounds a tad precious. I’m a mother and I write about parenting sometimes and I’m proud of that, but actually the only time that someone has called me a mommyblogger is as an insult. But they were tiny people with the acuity of applesauce anyway so it’s not really even worth considering.

I don’t think the panel touched on the use of the term “mommyblogger” as a pejorative, because that wasn’t the focus. But I guess I was assuming that they were going to talk about how to focus your blog if you’re a parent but write about other stuff, too, but it was more for people who have very topical blogs that aren’t about parenting. Not totally relevant for me but it was interesting.

Things did take a weird turn when there was some vaguely anti-parentblog sentiments thrown around. Well, maybe they weren’t anti, per se, but there was some level of irritation over the fact that mommybloggers receive the most attention from marketers and whatnot. I can imagine that if you’re building a blog audience about a topic and your audience is sizable, it can be very frustrating to be passed over. But things change and, seriously, blogging as a serious industry is still very, very young. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the balance shift in the next year or so.

But I did think about this site and how I kind of just write about whatever. If I wanted to, I could probably build a larger audience by focusing solely on one thing.

The husband’s blog really took off because he has a super-specific topic and there just aren’t many people writing about what he does. (I call him Dooce sometimes because he gets all gushy about his huge readership, which makes me wonder if this just all relates to penis size, and then I threaten to shut his site down because I run things.) But that’s not me and that’s not this site. I’m a human being and therefore multi-faceted. And I’m not sure that the world needs another memoirist so I’ll just plop shit here like so much slop in a trough with the occasional complete steak and let you guys come to it. And I think I just called my readers pigs. I didn’t mean it. I just…I missed the panel on storytelling and metaphor and that was obviously a big mistake.

Lunch!

I can’t remember if I went to another panel on Saturday, besides the MamaPop session. I don’t think I did. I’ll do better next year. But the MamaPop session was REALLY good. There was lots of interesting discussion and debate about pop culture and if there’s a feminist way to gossip. And I’m pretty sure that we won the Big Word competition for “schadenfreude” and “Aristotelian” being dropped.

With a few hours to kill, Dana and I ventured about 20 feet outside of the hotel and went to Niu for dinner. We had, no lie, the best sushi either of us had ever tasted and incredible mojitos.

I hit up the CheeseburgHerz party for a little bit but it became extremely crowded and I had to roll out. In the morning, Dana and Tracey and I went to the recovery breakfast and said some goodbyes before heading to the airport.

My only regrets were not seeing more of the city and not meeting more people. Obviously, I met a lot of people that I’ve known online for awhile in real life for the first time, and that’s always fun. But as far as people that, for whatever reason, I just didn’t know about until bumping into them at BlogHer, I can only say that I met a small handful. So, if I go next year, my mission will be to just branch out.

My only criticisms were that the wi-fi issue was just kind of ridiculous, considering it was a blogging conference, and that the expo booths were a little too girly. More nerdy tech stuff!

The last matter I want to address about BlogHer is the people that I met and hung out with. There is absolutely no way that I can make a complete list (see also: drunk on Thursday; 1,500 attendees). But I do want to touch on a few key encounters:

- Receiving a huge hug from Tanis within minutes of arriving at the hotel and later laughing with her about trying to fit into college writing desks while pregnant
- Receiving a huge hug from Grace after randomly bumping into her in the lobby
- Doing a slow-motion run through a field of daisies on a sidewalk when we first spotted Amber and Miss Banshee and Lena
- Discussing existential crises with Katie
- Flopping around on the Chi Bar couch with Miss Grace (both of us only vaguely recall this, but I’m pretty sure it happened…unless that wasn’t her tattoo but, in fact, Where the Wild Things Are coming to life before my eyes)
- Grinding to Ludacris with Y
- Trying to convince Amy to pull the bottom of her dress up between her legs, diaper-style
- Forgetting that I had gum in my mouth and nearly choking when I ate a piece of unicorn cake, and, though I didn’t introduce myself formally, having Bossy exclaim to me that she had just done the exact same thing.
- Finally succeeding in meeting Kristabella and Izzy
- The MamaPop group hug at the end of Sparklecorn, during which Heather gave me a gigantic kiss on the cheek, complete with, “MmmmmWAH!”
- Reintroducing myself to the lovely Kate, another casualty of Thursday’s beverage-induced amnesia
- Creepily lurking outside of Erin’s door looking for stickers that she placed there for me (feel better soon, lady!)
- Teasing Neil with his cattiness comments
- Just getting to hang out and giggle with Dana
- Just getting to pinch the cheeks of Schmutzie and Palinode, both of whom I love and want to put in my pocket
- Sleeping with Tracey every night (boom chick a bow wow) in the amazing beds at the Sheraton
- Anyone that I didn’t mention here that I even brushed up against that weekend

I also need to send a special thank you to Kim, who sold me her ticket to the conference after she realized that she couldn’t attend. I know that she was extremely sad that she couldn’t go, but she promises to be there next year. Go Kim!

I’m headed to Baltimore this weekend to visit Tracey (she can’t get enough of me) and Angela and some other assorted Baltimore characters. Note to would-be burglars: my very ferocious husband and my very ferocious cat will be home so BACK OFF.

Get it? Da Bears? Da Blawggers? Chicago?

Anyway. I went to Chicago! I went to BlogHer! It was grand!

I arrived Thursday and met up with Tracey and Dana at the hotel. I had had a gin and tonic on the plane, despite the scandalized glances of [...]]]> This title was an attempt at some clever adaptation of Superfans.

Get it? Da Bears? Da Blawggers? Chicago?

Anyway. I went to Chicago! I went to BlogHer! It was grand!

I arrived Thursday and met up with Tracey and Dana at the hotel. I had had a gin and tonic on the plane, despite the scandalized glances of my rowmates, because a) my vacation had officially begun and b) the baby sent me off saying, “Bye, Mum! I hope your plane doesn’t crash!”

Safely on terra firma, I was still preoccupied with the vacation aspect and spent the rest of that day drinking and meeting people and forgetting that I met them. I remember at some point crashing some private event and yelling at the bartender, “GIMME A GREEN ONE!” and double-fisting frou-frou drinks at the SocialLuxe party prior to taking the stage to help accept MamaPop’s award for Guilty Pleasure Blog.

It was fun and sorely needed release, but I felt really stupid when I kept reintroducing myself to people only to have them blink and say, “We met on Thursday.” Granted, I met a LOT of people those first few hours, so I was a little overwhelmed regardless. But that convinced me to take it easy the next two nights so that I could actually experience the whole thing.

Friday, we woke up late and while my much deserved hangover wasn’t too bad, my uterus got wind of the 1,500 women on the premises and got the brilliant idea to sync up with its fellow cramp enthusiasts. I groaned through one session in the morning then kind of shuffled around until it was time for lunch, then shuffled around until it was time for one of the mingling breaks (read: more food), then made my way to the Community Keynote. I was really glad that I made sure to attend that.

I think/hope that the prescriptivist hand-wringing over what blogging is doing to writing has died down somewhat. Or said hand-wringers are too busy losing their shit over Twitter’s role in the demise of civilization. Because what I had the honor of listening to at the keynote was some astounding writing. And I mean your professor from your undergrad writing class, the one who first drummed showing-not-telling into your head, would have been dumbstruck…that level of good. A few pieces were funny, a few pieces were serious. They were all inspirational. And not in a corny, wind-beneath-my-wings way, but in a, “Wow, I fucking love writing and I can’t wait to get a moment to be alone with my words and shape them into something even remotely as fantastic as what I’m hearing,” way. I cried a couple of times and completely lost it during Catherine’s reading, which I think scared Jodi a little bit. “Um, can I hug you?” she asked, concerned, after the keynote ended. I gratefully accepted because I needed a hug and something to wipe my nose on…like Jodi’s shirt, for example.

Certainly all of the subjects that are covered by bloggers are not for everyone. I was never a victim of childhood abuse, but I couldn’t help but be stunned by Grace’s reading. I have never experienced the devastation of a child’s death, but Tanis and Heather’s readings gave me just a taste of that unimaginable grief. It really doesn’t matter WHAT we write about, just HOW we write about it. And if you can spin a yarn then you have my attention.

The (thankfully) few times that I’ve received a harsh comment here is when people (trolls) have bashed me for writing at all. They don’t care what some mom has to say about her life and I’ve wasted their time by even putting it out here for them to stumble on. The question of WHY someone would bother to read something that they know they will hate and then take the time to complain about it is not worth pondering.

Anyway, I’m getting off topic. Friday night was MamaPop’s Sparklecorn party and Tracey and Catherine had been running around all day getting ready for it. They asked us to meet them before the party, so we gathered in this beautiful bar in the hotel for drinks and appetizers. There they presented us with the most heartfelt gifts and thanked us for our hard work on the site. I was overwhelmed. The gifts, of course, were lovely but the thanks were so touching. I sat on the couch and glanced around at this goofy group of people, who were all dressed for the party and looked amazing, and realized that not only was I lucky enough to know them at all, but I had the opportunity to be WITH them in a gorgeous city amongst a thousand or so people who understood my compulsive reading habits and frantic scribbles of thoughts. I realized that I have it pretty good, that I’m a really lucky person, and I need to acknowledge that more often.

Now, all of that mushiness is fine, but there is, of course, a much goofier side to me. Somehow, Tracey and Catherine reached inside the collective MamaPop body and grabbed whatever gland it is that makes one ponder things like the feminist and cultural statements of Weeds. They took that gland, ground it up in a Cuisinart, and sprayed that shit all over one of the Sheraton ballrooms. There were posters of all of our favorite cult movies. There was glitter. There were tiaras and boas. There was a unicorn cake. There was rye. I wish I had thought to take video of everyone running around and freaking out at how amazing the place looked.

As the party’s attendees filed in and people got a few drinks in them, the dancefloor filled up. The DJ was fantastic and coifs soon became frizzy shadows of their former selves. It was a blast.

At the end of the night, the last track was Bill Withers’ “Lean on Me.” A small group of people put their arms around each other…then a few more joined them…and soon there was a gigantic circle of tipsy writers, thrilled to be in each other’s company, shouting along to the music. It was fucking awesome.

I’ll have to write more tomorrow because it’s getting a little long-winded as it is. Go get a Vengeful Unicorn. On me.