I’m trying to be all healthy and active and whatnot

I Read A Lot of Internets

667, the neighbor of the beast

Oh, I don’t have much time to chat here, but I think it would be a blogging crime of the highest order if I did not mark the significance of this date.

See this guy? You all know him as The Baby. Well, he turns 7 years old today. Can you believe that shit?

It’s hard for [...]

my impersonation of me at the bank a few minutes ago

toonces

Sometimes I think me and my family are being directed by some omnipotent force with a seriously sick sense of humor. God? I don’t know. Maybe if god is a drunken Woody Allen, then his direction for last night’s comedy of errors would be something like this:

Okay, Greedo (cat). You haven’t knocked anything off of [...]

my impersonation of track & field interviews

Talking Head: That was a really exciting race! Did you expect to pull out front so early?

Runner: *pant pant* Um *pant* I muh puh haaa *pant pant*

TH: And how glad are you that you made it into the final?

R: *pant* Well, musperseeeehhhh geh PU-CHOW! *pant pant pant*

TH: Uh-huh. Now, of course, you know this is [...]

my impersonation of a bank

If you wish to deposit a check, that will take 5 – 10 business days.

If you wish to stop a check, that will take 5 – 10 business days.

If you wish to dispute a charge, that will take 5 – 10 business days.

If you wish to pay your bills online, that will take 5 – [...]

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