kdiddy.org

I’m a big sucker for gadgets, which is why I try to avoid watching shows like this. However, I did end up watching an episode the other night and they featured this espresso/cappuccino machine from DeLonghi and this morning I realized I was daydreaming about it. Even though I get pretty annoyed when I see these being used in a coffee shop, I wouldn’t mind having one at home…because I am not (or am no longer) a professional barista so I think I get to have the dummy, push-button version.

So, yeah, as soon as I have $1,500 to spend on a coffeemaker, it’s mine.

Today, I have to knock out at least some of my final projects. Saturday, I need to get last-minute stuff for the baby’s birthday party and maybe a gift or two for my spawn. Sunday is his birthday party. It’s 1 - 3 p.m. so I imagine from 2:30 on I will be nursing a migraine. Monday, the husband goes to court for the hearing of our burglar, but I’m almost positive that they will postpone again. Apparently they can postpone the hearing three times and the tactic involved there is to discourage the witnesses/victims from continuing to show up. I don’t know. The last time I was there everyone seemed pretty indignant. I think the dude will be going down eventually. If he postpones this time, that will be the third time. So I think we’ll definitely be having a hearing in January.

Other than that…classes (last 4!) Monday through Thursday. User testing on Monday and Tuesday for my software documentation. Final paper for Style due on Wednesday. Baby’s birthday on Thursday. Software documentation due on Friday. Final portfolio for Prof & Tech due on the 14th.

Then: drinks.

I just remembered that I had promised a picture of the totally rad garage door that was across the street from the church in Akron where we attended a wedding. Check it:

Nice, huh? In my opinion there aren’t nearly enough garage door murals in the world. I’m going to commission an artist to paint these pictures on our garage doors (that we don’t ever use): (more…)

It appears as though the heat is not functioning in my office which is making for an interesting work environment. I’m moving around a lot. Typing helps.

I kinda want one of them thar fancy universal remotes, but I’m severely skeptical about how well they’ll actually work. Also, we lose a remote at least twice a month and I can’t imagine what horrors would be unleashed if we lost The Remote and then we had to, like, stand up and shit. Barbaric! Our remotes always return, they usually just go traveling through the innards of our couch for a few days before resurfacing.

Also, I don’t really have $150 for a remote. There’s that, too. And our entertainment set up isn’t that fancy. I just feel like a tool having 4 remotes.

I’ve reached the point in the semester where I’m having mini panic attacks every 30 minutes or so when I think of all of the stuff coming up over the next few weeks. Aside from school stuff, I realized last night that the baby’s birthday party is on SUNDAY and we still haven’t nailed down some minor details…like what we’re going to feed everyone. (I feel it’s important to mention that my mom and grandmother just kind of barreled their way into taking over the party and I’m completely unhappy with what they’ve done. They’re having it some place that’s costing a bajillion dollars just to rent so now they’re like, “Uh, the food is going to be too expensive.” Gum for everyone, I guess.) Only one person has RSVPed to me so far, which isn’t surprising. People are really bad about RSVPing these days, aren’t they?

The baby’s actual birthday is next Thursday and I, of course, have a huge assignment due the next day. A serious con to unplanned pregnancies is that your kid’s big day might fall during a traditionally shitty time of the year. Behold our success last year. I had vowed after that not to be so ditzy about his birthday this year, so let this be my reminder to myself to have something a little nicer than a Hostess cupcake and a scented candle to celebrate the birth of my only child.

Not that he cares, of course. But you know when he looks back at the pictures when he’s 25 he’s going to say, “What jerks.”

I can’t do it. I can’t just go back to the normal routine after sleeping in and doing whatever I want (read: nothing) for the past four days. I changed clothes twice this whole long weekend and apparently that’s how I want to live my life because the thought of getting dressed and functioning is totally painful right now.

It doesn’t help that it’s raining and grey and miserable this morning. It doesn’t help that the baby got me out of bed three times for runny noses and pee breaks. It doesn’t help that this morning I plumb did not know what my alarm clock was going on about and simply turned the thing off, only to finally wake up to the harsh realization that I have to go be a grown up now.

No fair.

I now have a nosering again. I lost it at some point a few months ago during a particularly persistent head cold (and the ensuing nose-blowing) and then today I found it on the bathroom floor. I just don’t know what to make of that. It’s like it went exploring for a few months.

The hole had closed over just a tiny bit so I had to stick myself with a (sterilized) safety pin. It was very punk rock. I should have just left the safety pin in, eh? But I’m now re-pierced and sore.

Has there been any kind of study done to determine what one’s Amazon recommendations say about a person? I was just purchasing a few things for the baby’s birthday and the recommendations that came up after check out were pretty amusing: The Berenstain Bears and the Trouble with Chores, Transformers, and Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill. Oddly enough, I just had a mini-breakdown over how DONE I am with housework and how I just don’t want to do it anymore and no wonder women in the 1950s munched Valium and Vitameatavegamin all the time. Trouble with chores, indeed. My mom and grandmother don’t understand the angst that I have toward cleaning. My mom insists that the reason she loves cleaning and the reason that I should love cleaning is because you get to sit down afterward and admire how nice everything looks. Odd. Because after I clean I sit down and cry about how I’ll just need to do it again soon. Who else needs a drink?

I know I’ve said this before but four-day weekends really are what’s up. Even a three-day weekend every week would do the trick. Think we can make that happen?

Last night, after a delicious dinner of glorious leftovers, I really wanted to watch my traditional “Thanksgiving movie,” Home for the Holidays. I’ve met maybe about five people who have seen this movie and everyone agrees that it’s amazing and that they don’t know why it isn’t wildly popular. I guess that makes it a cult Thanksgiving movie? Odd.

Unfortunately, I soon realized that that particular DVD was one of the discs “liberated” from my living room back in September (thanks again, asshole!). Fail. But it will be on at 2:30 on Showtime. Now Thanksgiving is complete.

I saw a commercial today for Duncan Hines OvenReady Brownies, and that whole concept frightened me a little bit. Like, when are you ever in such desperate need of brownies that not even the box mixes are fast enough?

The baby and I are still pajama-clad. We’re parked on the couch and watching Robots.

Thanksgiving was decent. Lots of food, plenty of wine. We did the usual tour: to my mom’s to eat with my family and then to my mother-in-law’s to eat with the husband’s family. My dad was supposed to meet up with us at either place, but he chose instead to just spend the whole day with his friends’ family and that really bummed me out. For some reason, I’ve been really emo lately about my parents being divorced, even though they split up over ten years ago. I’m actually very glad that they split up, but it’s because I don’t think they ever should have been together in the first place, they’re so incompatible. But in some indirect way I regret my own existence? I don’t know. I guess I just wish that whatever unhappiness they went through in the past, it wouldn’t affect us still being together as a family when we can.

Enough overshare.

The husband went out with Matt on a photographic expedition of Pittsburgh’s industrial ruins. I am not participating in any Black Friday activities because fuck that shit. Also, it’s Buy Nothing Day, which I don’t hear much about anymore but I’m always perfectly happy to stay away from the mall. However, I might have to buy something, namely kitty litter and toilet bowl cleaner, as our various shitters are in need of some maintenance.

The baby and I got up and started watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. You know, that parade actually kinda sucks. I guess I’ve never really paid attention to it before. I like the balloons. And the Rockettes. But the endless stream of mediocre high school bands from, like, Wichita (no offense) and Baldwin, and the utterly shite musical “performances” are just depressing. We watched Dolly Parton, Lifehouse, and Menudo…how irrelevant can you get? We were cringing through a number from the Hairspray musical and the baby just couldn’t take it anymore. “I hate this,” he said. I had to agree with him.

So we turned on some Mister Roger’s Neighborhood and that was way better. We got to see some canned vegetable soup being made!

We have to get ready to go soon, which will be interesting because some time between late last night and this morning I hurt my shoulder and now I can’t really lift my arm. How does my body just decide to be injured?

I did a little pre-game last night by binging on Tomato Mozzarella Pringles (they’re alright) and some chicken nuggets. And some rum with Diet Dr. Pepper. Ballin’! We watched the Weeds season finale (a few days late) and this new Paul Mooney DVD that we got called Analyzing White America. Some already-used material but still hilarious.

Everyone have a nice day!

Coffee and Cigarettes

200 Cigarettes

Edit: obviously, what I need to do is write a screenplay called 200 Cigarettes & Coffee and Cigarettes.

While I’m sure most spam is automatically generated, there must be a person/company behind it. Who are these people? Do they have miserable lives? Do they believe in a god? Animal? Vegetable? Mineral?

What makes men decide, “I’m going to start wearing a bow tie?”

Why is Diner Dash: Hometown Hero so tough? And why is it having such a strong emotional effect on me? The obnoxious teenagers on cell phones, the messy patrons, the bitchy parents…these are all depictions that are scarily true-to-life…and they remind me why I swore off waitressing for good in 1999.