worst daughter ever?
My dad is in the hospital. He had a nervous breakdown. I'm going to visit him tomorrow. The only thing that I feel towards him right now is anger. I can't really explain it. I don't understand why he feels the way that he does. I don't know how to act towards him anymore. When he tries to talk to me I don't know if I should be sweet and understanding or firm and encouraging. I've tried both. Neither worked, obviously. And of course, I blame myself so that makes me angry with myself, too. I don't think I really had a big part in it, though. I wonder if I'm going to have to take care of him now and I just feel it's too soon for all that. I had told him that he was most worried of losing the rest of his suburbanite, white bread status, those aspirations of a perfect family. Now I can't help but envision my family's future as this bleak, dystopian piece of shit. Unmarried, with a kid, no career, going to visit my dad in a mental institution. I can't wait for a war now. It'll give me something else to think about.
