click on poop
Ah, yes, L'Internet…my friend, my companion, the source of much joy, the source of much angst. Since our (late) meeting in September of 1997, we've hardly spent one day apart.
Yesterday L'Internet and I had a huge fight.
It all started when I noticed that my email was acting a little funny. I get email through three servers: Verizon, my ISP (via a weak post-partum moment and a telemarketer); chemlab, my main email; and Pitt (I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be getting email from them…I should probably transfer all of the mailing lists that I have on that address soon). For the Verizon email I kept getting an error message and most webpages weren't loading correctly. Thinking not much of it, I restarted the modem and then restarted the computer. When both came back on, I couldn't even get Verizon to connect.
One franticly annoyed call to tech support later, I found out that Verizon, for shits and giggles I suppose, cancelled my DSL account. No one could give me an explanation as to why this might have happened but offered me some complimentary dial up service for the interim period. All I had to do was call the tech support number at my earliest convenience to set it up. I had other stuff to do at that point so I decided to call later.
During that time I walked to the piercing place, which was closed, walked the rest of the way up Liberty Ave to get some exercise, walked back, fed and napped the baby, watched “Muriel's Wedding,” decided that I don't really like Australian accents, talked to Shanley and his life as a reporter to the stars, wandered around in a daze because of lack of email, got into an argument with my grandmother, got into an argument with my mother, greeted Jwan at the door who had come over to pilfer the washer and dryer, got into an argument with the boyfriend, gave Jwan a little too much information about my sex life, all before finally calling tech support to get icky dial up ready.
I was on hold for almost a half hour, but finally got through to a rather nice young man. It's important to note that this young man had an Indian accent because it makes the following story that much funnier.
All the guy really needed to do was to give me the dial up number and I could have set up the connection myself. But since I had been on the phone so long I figured why not make it worth our while.
So we went through the whole, “Click on Start, click on blah blah blah…” Then the conversation went something like this (again, keep the accent in mind):
Tech support: Okay, in the My Computer menu, click on Network Connections.
Me:……um….I don't see that in here
T.S.: What version of Windows are you running again?
Me: XP
T.S.: and you don't see Network Connections in the My Computer menu?
Me.: No…oh wait
T.S.: Yes?
Me: Is the icon a little computer screen with a globe behind it?
T.S.: Yes, that's it.
Me: (embarrassed) Oh, sorry, my boyfriend must have changed the name of the icon.
T.S.: Oh, okay. Well, just tell me what it's called now so that there's no further confusion.
Me: (blushing furiously) um….
T.S.: Yes?
Me: poop.
T.S.: poop?
Me: yes.
T.S.: Your boyfriend changed Network Connections to poop?
Me: yes (snickering)
T.S.: (starts laughing) Well, that's what I would have changed it to, as well.
Me: laughing
T.S.: Ok *snicker* click on poop!
Me: *snicker* Ok, clicked on poop!
T.S.: Ok *snicker* now in the poop menu…
You get the idea. I was laughing the rest of the night. I hope I make it into fourth grade.
Well, my kid stinks and we have stuff to do today.
Later.
