candyman?….candyman?….candyman?….
I watched Nightmare on Elm Street last night. That ruled. First grade just came rushing back to me. The Godfather was on a little later (not on the same channel). It started really late and I didn't have any intention of watching as much as I did but I couldn't help it. Now I'm really in the mood for some cannoli. mmmm…
You know what I really love? I love it when the boyfriend reads the newspaper and then touches everything in the house. The living room looks like a friggin' crime scene. There's black fingerprints on the phone. I'm not amused.
Oh my…it's been a few days since I've properly updated and I feel like there's so much I have to tell all of you. I guess some big news is that my mom is buying a new car. The Chevy Caprice/Titanic has wheezed her last breath and my mom has decided to trade it in. I'm going to miss that old clunker a little bit. It's got a touch of class. She's getting a Honda Civic which I'm pretty glad about. It'll be nice and manageable and I should have no problem taking my driving test on it.
My driving test. I was trying to do some kind of meditation on that last night. Visualizing myself parallel parking nice and smooth and driving without screwing up and all that. I don't have my retake scheduled but I'm going to have to do it soon. My permit expires in a month!
Onto the funny stories that I promised. Tuesday night we went to Kelly's and we were having a rather nice evening. As I mentioned before, I met
Anyway, there was a group of people sitting caddy corner across from us and it became evident before too long that they were going to be awarded the “Most Obnoxious/Can't Hold Their Liquor” award. Obviously, they were drunk which in and of itself isn't really offensive. Kelly's is, after all, a bar and the effects of alcoholic beverages is to be expected. But this was a Tuesday, not traditionally a day of celebration. These people were also well into their twenties so I think that it's safe to assume that they had drank before that night. They were total amateurs…mixing all kinds of shit and making fools of themselves. One guy in particular was being a total ass. He kept standing up and yelling nonsense to rest of the clientele, then would sit down and shove his tongue down his girlfriend's throat. She had apparently taken a valium or two before coming to Kelly's because she was kind of out of it. The Total Ass would then reach across the table and pretend-scuffle with his friend, yelling and swearing the whole time. Very annoying. After awhile the inevitable occurred…a glass fell off the table and broke prompting many dirty looks from the staff and the people sitting near them. They settled down for a few minutes but were soon back to their antics. Another glass went flying off of the table, broke sending shards of glass and alcohol flying. No one was hurt but Jim and I both got a healthy dose of alcohol on our legs. Jim, who is normally rather sedate, spun around and yelled, “What the fuck is your problem? You've been acting up all night! Fucking grow up!” Total Ass, predictably, mustered up all of his 120 lbs and got in Jim's face, asking him what he was going to do about it. Obviously, Jim's friends far outnumbered Total Ass', as he soon found out. Akil to the rescue…he and several other cronies asked Total Ass what exactly he was planning to do. In his smartest move of the evening, Total Ass sat down and sulked for a few minutes. Showing that he was truly a class act, he left, forcing his girlfriend to pay the bill. Taste.
After everyone settled down from that incident, things seemed like they were going to be rather calm for the rest of the evening. Not so. This guy Alex, who I guess is something of a regular, had left after sharing several uneventful drinks with two male friends. Suddenly, Alex comes walking back in, goes over to where his friends are still sitting and starts to strangle one of them. And not in a, “Oh, you're such a goofy guy, here's an affectionate strangle,” kind of way. He was actually trying to kill this guy. The staff and a few patrons rushed over saying, “Alex, knock it off, what are you doing?” Alex gave up pretty quick and rushed out to the door to everyone's refrains of “Have another one, Alex.” Alex's victim seemed unphased and after shaking his head in disbelief for a few minutes, returned to his cocktail and conversation. As we were leaving we asked Meg what the deal was with Alex's attack and she had not even been aware of it, even though she had been sitting a few feet away the whole time. We asked Alex's victim what had happened and he just looked at us like we were crazy. Having had our fill of psychotic shenanigans, we left. White people are crazy.
Gushy mom portion: The baby picked up his book of shapes this morning, opened to the circle page, pointed and said, “Circle!” like he had been saying it all of his life. He's such a goofball.
Housework calls.
