my food issues. let me show you them.
So, first of all, regarding this post, thank you all so, so much for commenting and lending your support and understanding. I was literally overwhelmed by all of the people who came out to offer a comment, letting me know that, while crazy, I am not alone.
Still doing Weight Watchers, though a sort of loose version. I adapt it as I need to. I’m slowly losing weight and things feel different this time. I attribute that mostly to my new-found fervor with regard to healthier food. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m pretty frightened by the food industry in the U.S. and all of the icky governmental circle jerks that contribute to it.
So, this time around, going the easy route by stuffing my freezer with Lean Cuisine wasn’t really an option. In fact, since giving up Diet Dr. Pepper, I’ve pretty much done away with all “light” foods. That is, I don’t really buy light versions of foods. I don’t buy diet bread or light or fat-free salad dressings or light butter or skim milk or fat-free cheese or freakish 100-calorie desserts. None of that. (However, I do buy low-fat organic yogurt. Full disclosure, n’at.) I want Food. This has taken some effort on my part because I could eat more if I bought such things, but I just no longer see the point of sustaining myself on edible food-like things, which will inevitably become tiresome.
I’m eating a little less during the day so that I can eat a regular dinner with the dudes. That’s the major change that I’ve made. And you know what? It’s working really well. Mentally, I’m in a much better space. I’ve noticed that I feel satisfied/full much easier. On days when I indulge a little, I feel uncomfortably full and I think for awhile that became my normal “full” feeling. There were a lot of emotions involved, ya know? I would eat past that point for any number of reasons, stress being the main one.
I still genuinely love cooking and baking and, most of all, eating. I’m amassing an insane collection of favorite recipes and even more recipes that I want to try. I just today signed up at Evernote to work on a system of organizing recipes from all of the food blogs that I read because I want to try all of them. (Evernote, by the way, is pretty cool. I don’t know, for my purposes, if it’s a huge departure from the organizing/tagging features on Google Reader, but it’s still very nice.)
I also wanted to touch on a few points that were raised in the post mentioned above. I do not hate my body or the way it is shaped. I used to and believe me the way that I feel about myself now is so much healthier than the way I felt about it for a long, long time. And I kind of feel like I do accept my body and that my desire to lose weight, while certainly tied up in the bullshit that I’ve been dealing with for nearly all of my life, actually comes from a good place, if that makes any sense.
Anyway, I think there’s like…stuff going on in the world besides my ass vigilance. But here’s a (dark, crappy, phone) picture of my cat being forced to wear a babushka.
September 8th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
I’m doing WW now, too, and I am also not going in for that light food crap. I drink 1% milk out of preference, but I can’t stand fat-free yogurt, cottage cheese or *gag* reduced-fat cheese. I would rather have a 1/2 ounce of brie than an entire container of fat-free cream cheese. I would rather have one piece of delicious, hearty, whole wheat bread than three slices of reduced-fat bread. I would rather have one homemade chocolate chip cookie than a bag of 100-calorie Chips Ahoy “cookies.” A friend of mine has been subbing fat free half and half for regular half and half in her coffee. The very idea of fat free half and half freaks me out and, sure enough, one of the first ingredients is “corn solids”. WTF? I’d rather drink it black or, better yet, have the cream and just drink less coffee and maybe sleep more at night.
In order to enjoy the real article rather than a chemically lightened version, I’ve been making better choices in other areas — choosing to eat skinless chicken more, eating smaller portions of meat at dinner with a double helping of vegetables, for instance. Tonight I’m making a delicious chicken recipe I already love and make all the time (braised with cumin, onions, lemon zest, garlic, green olives and dates), and serving it over more filling quinoa instead of couscous. This weekend I felt like all I did was cook and eat, two things I really love to do. And, despite being stuffed after dinner (pollo asado with a wheat tortilla, quinoa and spinach, steamed broccoli) I had 5 points left for dessert.
I have a great deal more weight to lose than you do, but I too have that sort of “am I doing this for the right reasons” question from time to time. The fact is, even though I haven’t reached a measurable weight loss goal yet, I feel better about what I’m eating and my relationship with food already, and so it can’t be bad, even if part of my motivation is the “I want to look good naked and more closely resemble a beauty ideal” shit.
Oops. this comment turned into a blog post.
“Yo dawg! I put a blog post on your blog post so you can reply while you reply!”
September 8th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
@Snarky Amber,
i am so with you on the make cookies at home and eat them vs. eating premade crap or those 100 calorie things. (i swear those just make me hungry.) i know where the flour, sugar, butter, etc comes from! and i have to get off my ass to make them happen!
September 8th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Fat-free cheese is the devil’s handiwork. I think you’re taking a much healthier approach.
Cat bubushkas FTW:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1363/665967662_e231f67c52_b.jpg
September 8th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
love the cat pic.
and i whole heartedly agree that going the real food route is the way to go. chemicals and all the other very suspicious “ingredients” are not it.
my husband and i are def much healthier now that we cook our meals for real-no canned spaghetti sauce, no premade mix business. real meat, real cheese, real produce. and we take our dinner leftovers for lunch. i feel like i know where the food i am eating really comes from. and that helps tremendously.
we are far from perfect but it is a work in progress.
September 8th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
I can’t believe I am only now learning how to spell stara baba. I still don’t really know exactly what it means, but I assume that this is what I always heard my BaBa refer to when I heard her say “studdabubba”.
September 8th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
I have stuck to *Food* for at least the past 3 years; I use butter, I bake, I don’t buy pre-cooked stuff, I eat. Being active has helped a lot too, I walk a lot when I can, and I’ve kept my weight pretty steady for the past 3 years… even though I lament the fact and whine, whine, whine when I’m at my higher end. I never exceed my 5 lb mark.
You should join the Slow Food movement… and I recommend the book, “French Women Don’t Get Fat” as well.
September 10th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
I have been following Weight Watchers since February and have had some success with it. I am about halfway to where I want to be, but I do feel a lot better for having done it. I’m lucky that I have a stellar support network while I do it, everyone from friends to co-workers to family have been really amazing. My boys ate tofu parmesan with reduced fat mozzarella last night without a complaint – I think they may have even enjoyed it!
One woman in the last meeting I attended mentioned that she had temporary success with the Lean Cuisine way of eating, but that it didn’t teach her good preparation skills or portion controls, so she gained it all back. Following Weight Watchers by eating Lean Cuisine strikes me as pretty much the same thing as following Nutrisystem or Jenny Craig.
That said, everyone has their own way of doing things. I have a few Lean Cuisines in the freezer for those mornings when I haven’t planned adequately ahead for my lunch. It happens, I’ve learned the hard way. So now instead of giving up and thinking that I’ll be ok if I eat out for lunch and screwing up, I have a failsafe in the form of processed food in the freezer. It’s a sometimes food, and by sometimes I mean, once a month at most. But yanno, everyone’s mileage may vary.
I have weirdly come to prefer less fat in my food. Eating a fat-full piece of cheese now makes me feel as though my mouth is coated in lard or something, which is a strange sensation for someone with a fried food issue such as myself! (I loves me some jalapeno poppers and fried potatoes…) Many lower fat foods – in particular the light breads – I have also come to prefer. They’re not dry and tasteless like they were 10 years ago. And it’s awfully nice to eat a whole sandwich for lunch instead of resenting my lunch-mate for eating double what I can!
I like fat free yogurt and I use a splash of fat free “half and half” in my coffee, unapologetically. I’m fully aware that corn starch gives it the consistency it has. If I wasn’t after the consistency, I’d use nonfat. I don’t see any shame in nonfat instead of whole, just like I don’t blame anyone for drinking whole milk instead whipping cream. There are lots of fat-free foods I dislike the taste of, though, like sour cream and mayonnaise. I’d rather have fat-reduced. I guess everybody has their boundaries.
Like you, however, I don’t like the “100 calorie” packs of anything. I have changed my thinking about sweets in particular; they too are a sometimes food. I don’t require a treat after every dinner, and if I cook well enough my dinner becomes treat enough! (Though it’s true, I’d generally prefer to use those points on a glass of wine for my “dessert.”)
I would prefer a piece of fruit for snacks, because it keeps me fuller for longer. For example, if I have a fat free yogurt for breakfast, I know I had also better have a grain or fruit along with or I will be ravenous by 10 a.m. For me, that has been key: choosing good fibers to manage my appetite.
Whichever way you choose to design your diet, I wish you much success! 🙂
October 9th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
The overall rate of success of these weight loss programs which are constantly contending with each other is more or less the comparable. And the most comic part is that these programs all expire at the comparable hurdle in spite of doing really tall necessitates. This happens because the trunk gets accustomed to the rigor through which it is cast and aligns itself to the new routine and the metabolic process slows down. You have to be smarter than nature to be able to deception the body into turning a loss weight. Without coming this step then you will always inquire why you cannot lose weight unit.