hummm
Did you ever have a day when you were feeling generally shitty about yourself? Then you thought about it for a minute and tried to convince yourself that you were being silly. Just as your self-esteem started to poke its head out from under the sheets an old friend gets in touch to tell you how fabulously she's doing. Amazingly, you feel like shit again. That happened to me today.
I posted earlier about my ongoing career woes. Mostly, I'm frustrated with my lack of direction. I can't seem to decide on a path and just start walking down it. I'm terrified I'm going to do something wrong. But anyway, I calmed myself down a little bit but then got this email from Melynda, a girl I interned with at Pulp who has since gone on to be an intern at Bust Magazine in NYC:
Hey guys,
So things worked out at Bust and I'm interning here for the entire summer
now. I'm working two days a week so today I'm going to interview with The
New York Press too. I wrote an angry e-mail to the Village Voice yesterday
for their inability to contact intern candidates in a timely manner. They
replied saying that not all intern positions had been filled and they were
still looking over applications. Whatever. But I really really love Bust.
I'm babysitting for one of the editors now too, and she lets me drive her
car. I'm also writing a music review and an article for the next issue. I
might write more than one review, but I'm not sure yet. But, I love it.
I love New York now too. It took me almost two months, but now I get it.
And, Patti Smith is putting on a free show in two weeks, plus Pretty Girls
Make Graves, plus Gil Mantera next week! There's so much great stuff coming
up it's rediculous. I guess I'm going home in the beginning of August, so I
can chill before my European stint this fall. I'm ready for three weeks of
nothing. I”ll probably go crazy in the process, but I haven't relaxed in
almost nine months.
I haven't had any more drunken escapades, mainly becuase I haven't been
drunk. I did get to go to a velvet rope party last week. Bust had it's 10
year anniversary party and I got to let Guy from the Toilet Boys in. He's
beautiful! I swear he shimmers(he's in the cher issue). The party was at
Coral Room. They have a huge aquarium with a human mermaid who swims
throughout the party. My friend Emily is a mermaid there now too. She just
auditioned last week. I guess some dude from Six Feet Under was there too.
Bob was the emcee and there were burlesque acts and stuff like that too, and
free beer and vodka.
I hope everything is great in Pittsburgh. I'll talk to you soon!
Melynda
I'll admit it, I'm green. Save for the human mermaid part (what the fuck?), I'm totally choking on jealous bile. Not only that, I'm getting all freaked out about the decisions I've made in my life, ie, ballet, college, even the baby, and feeling like a total asshole for second-guessing my self and basically my kid. I'm an ass.
On top of all that, I got a brochure in the mail from the Kaplan people about their LSAT prep courses. Yeah. I've toyed on and off with the idea of becoming a lawyer. Could I have any less soul?
