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I don’t want to stick with the customary format of grace in small things because, as an exercise, it will probably make up the majority of my daily posts and it was starting to depress me to see the same-looking entry over and over.

Anyway.

Today, I found grace in my little basil plant that is surviving, despite my brown thumb. I used a few leaves of it in tonight’s dinner and it was like getting a little kiss of summer.

I also found grace in music. The baby has recently gotten very into J Dilla’s Donuts album. I’ve always liked the whole album, but the past few days that we’ve been listening, I’ve really fallen in love with the track called “Time: The Donut of the Heart.” It’s gorgeous. It feels like a sweet sigh.

Today, I found grace in that disgusting black goop that builds up in the drain of my bathroom sink.

Let me explain.

The baby lost a tooth tonight while we were brushing his teeth, but we didn’t realize this until after he’d spit and rinsed, presumably sending the tooth down the drain. He was pretty upset, but I told him I was sure that the Tooth Fairy would still come, but suggested writing her a note explaining what happened. He wrote, “I lost my tooth, but it came out in my toothpaste. From The Baby. PS XOXOXO From Greedo.”

Why our cat needed to send the Tooth Fairy some love, we don’t know.

In any case, we put the note and his Tooth Fairy pouch under his pillow and looked ahead to brighter days. I decided to check around the bathroom once more to make sure we hadn’t missed it.

I looked on the rug around the toilet and in the bristles of his toothbrush. Finally I pulled the plug out of the drain and saw a little white tooth stuck to the side of the drain, nestled in some of that black goop.

It took some maneuvering and some creative tooling with tweezers, plastic spoons, and eventually a chip clip, but I got it out. The baby was thrilled.

Thanks, goop. Even though you’re gross and made of who-knows-what, thanks for holding on to my kid’s tooth.

Through some weird twist of the UPS fates, a bunch of stuff that we had been waiting on all arrived today:

1. A shiny new 750 GB hard drive so we can store all of our crap there and wipe our desktop Dell clean as it is moaning and groaning far too much for a relatively new computer.

2. A package from Amazon containing The Wire DVD boxed set, which I got on SALE (caps needed there) (thanks to Tracey for the heads up on that), a new transfer of Pieces, and…um…The 30 Day Shred. I caved to peer pressure, alright? Though I’m really not sure when I’m going to do that shit anyway.

3. New movie from Netflix: Paprika.

4. SNUGGIE!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! The husband’s grandmother got him one for Christmas. I don’t know if they were back-ordered or if it she bought it someplace weird but it finally arrived and my god is it a thing of beauty. I’m actually wearing it right now. I give myself two weeks before I’m just rocking it out in public.

5. This conversation from about 30 minutes ago:

*familiar music emanates from my laptop before quickly being silenced by me*
Husband: …
Me: …
Husband: Did you just get Rick Rolled?
Me: Shut up.
Husband: Dude, that’s sad.

Schmutzie invited me to participate in Grace in Small Things. It’s taken me a few days to get started, but I was just reminded what today is, so it seems like a fitting way to begin such a project. And we’re supposed to do five things but I think today I’ll just do this one, since it’s a biggie.

Today is Blog for Choice day, which honors the anniversary of the Roe v. Wade ruling. So my first positive thing for Grace in Small Things is my reproductive freedom.

I was not always pro-choice. From the time that I was old enough to know what abortion was, I was staunchly pro-life. My very Catholic schools made a point of telling us, especially the girls, how wrong it was. This stayed with me until my teen years when I started rethinking a lot of things, as teenagers tend to do, including my feelings on women being able to decide when they have children, even if that decision includes terminating a pregnancy. I timidly changed my position to pro-choice but not pro-abortion.

A few more years of maturity and realizing that I don’t like people to insert themselves into my personal struggles and maybe I felt the same way toward others put me into pro-choice but kind of ambivalent about the whole thing territory.

Until I got pregnant.

To be fair, I had a lot of supportive people around me and they were all people that I sought comfort and advice from. But there was still a decent dose of pressure. Being as far up shit creek as I was, I didn’t know what exactly to do about my pregnancy, but I knew for sure that I was the one who was going to live with whatever I decided.

I got as far as the doctor’s office and making my appointment and arranging everything when it finally became clear to me that having an abortion was not what I wanted to do.

Ultimately, I obviously decided to continue with the pregnancy, but the experience solidified me as a pro-choice person. I wanted to have my baby, but I could definitely understand not wanting to continue a pregnancy. And I couldn’t imagine being forced in either direction. It’s a hard thing to try to explain to someone who hasn’t been through that situation. But having my rights over my own body and my own life transformed me profoundly.

If you don’t feel the same way that I do, I do not say these things to offend you or to be combative. I only hope to give a little insight in my weird little life and maybe gain some understanding along the way.

Also: good start, dude.