kdiddy.org

I’m watching Untamed Heart, of all things, right now. One of the would-be rapists is Willie Garson, aka Stanford Blatch of Sex and the City. His character’s name in this flick is Patsy. Very odd.

Last night, after a delicious dinner of glorious leftovers, I really wanted to watch my traditional “Thanksgiving movie,” Home for the Holidays. I’ve met maybe about five people who have seen this movie and everyone agrees that it’s amazing and that they don’t know why it isn’t wildly popular. I guess that makes it a cult Thanksgiving movie? Odd.

Unfortunately, I soon realized that that particular DVD was one of the discs “liberated” from my living room back in September (thanks again, asshole!). Fail. But it will be on at 2:30 on Showtime. Now Thanksgiving is complete.

I saw a commercial today for Duncan Hines OvenReady Brownies, and that whole concept frightened me a little bit. Like, when are you ever in such desperate need of brownies that not even the box mixes are fast enough?

The baby and I got up and started watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. You know, that parade actually kinda sucks. I guess I’ve never really paid attention to it before. I like the balloons. And the Rockettes. But the endless stream of mediocre high school bands from, like, Wichita (no offense) and Baldwin, and the utterly shite musical “performances” are just depressing. We watched Dolly Parton, Lifehouse, and Menudo…how irrelevant can you get? We were cringing through a number from the Hairspray musical and the baby just couldn’t take it anymore. “I hate this,” he said. I had to agree with him.

So we turned on some Mister Roger’s Neighborhood and that was way better. We got to see some canned vegetable soup being made!

We have to get ready to go soon, which will be interesting because some time between late last night and this morning I hurt my shoulder and now I can’t really lift my arm. How does my body just decide to be injured?

I did a little pre-game last night by binging on Tomato Mozzarella Pringles (they’re alright) and some chicken nuggets. And some rum with Diet Dr. Pepper. Ballin’! We watched the Weeds season finale (a few days late) and this new Paul Mooney DVD that we got called Analyzing White America. Some already-used material but still hilarious.

Everyone have a nice day!

Coffee and Cigarettes

Cigarettes & Coffee

200 Cigarettes

Edit: obviously, what I need to do is write a screenplay called 200 Cigarettes & Coffee and Cigarettes.

They discontinued Mr. Pibb? I did not know this, but then I never really kept tabs on the stuff. I’m a Coca-Cola purist and only recently have deviated from that paradigm because I suddenly developed an addiction to Diet Dr. Pepper out of nowhere. They also discontinued Josta, which is a total tragedy for…uh…the 14 people who ever drank it. I think John Cougar Mellencamp was one of them.

But, not to worry. I can still buy a case of Mr. Pibb for a little less than $600. Sweet! And Josta’s a bargain at $175 a six-pack.

Aside: who are these “they” I keep referring to? The Overlords of Pop? I know not.

Also: Crystal Pepsi Wall Clock. Want. Even though Crystal Gravy was superior.

Crystal Gravy

Add to My Profile | More Videos

I went to Student Health today for a UTI. I feel 19 again! Heh.

The husband and I watched a Paul Mooney stand-up special on Showtime last night. Oh my god. I was in tears, it was so funny. We saw him live a couple of years ago and I nearly peed myself. He’s hilarious…and insane. When we saw him he wore this military coat and a big hat with ear flaps the whole time.

Our neighborhood had a Halloween parade on Saturday. A bunch of kids came out in their costumes and paraded down the main drag, cheered on by parents, grandparents, shopkeepers, and whatever patrons managed to stumble out of the bars. The baby is going as Godzilla this year, but we couldn’t find a Godzilla specific costume and I am not yet up to the job of constructing costumes, so we borrowed a dinosaur costume from my mom’s friend. It serves the purpose, kinda, but the baby was increasingly irritated with people assuming that he was some chump dinosaur. “I’m GODZILLA!” he would whine. Duh. Trampled Tokyo multiple times…ring any bells?

The baby actually once told me that Godzilla protects humanity from the tyranny of all monsters. Those were the words he used. Who is he?

Anyway, the parade was alright. I took a few pictures of the baby but mostly spent my time snapping shots of the boulevard, which is a good way to see how…odd the neighborhood is. It’s equal parts old world Pittsburgh and honestly-we-don’t-give-a-shit.

For instance:

There’s a drive-thru beer distributor. This is not unique to us, of course, but I think any place that has establishments that combine two things that aren’t supposed to go together (ie, drinking and driving) has a certain je ne sais quoi.

There were some miscreants about. These kids watched the parade with a certain amount of wistfulness in their eyes. I could tell they really wanted to still take part in all of the pageantry, but felt that they were too old now.

Or maybe they were just high.

Firehouse. Mediterranean grocery store containing the bomb pita, hummus, tabouleh, and grape leaves.

Luke Ravenstahl, Mayor of Pittsburgh, looking very…mayoral. I emailed this pic to the mayor’s office but have not yet heard back from Luke saying, “OMG thanks! I’m making it my default pic on MySpace right now.”

Me and Godzilla, who looks pretty gentle. Also, there is not a cheerleader growing out of his head, even though it looks that way. And, yes, I’m wearing a Sean John hoodie. My dad gave all three of us hoodies last year for Christmas and they were all brands that he had seen on drug dealers on The Wire. My dad’s weird. But that hoodie is huge and warm and I love it.

Anyway, speaking of Halloween, I’ve posted a very useful scary movie guide on MamaPop which you should peruse at your earliest convenience. To sum it up for you: Suspiria owns.

Maybe the lack of wholesome cinema in my diet can explain my attitude as of late, which is rather poor. I’ve definitely hit a slump and am viewing all of my duties with contempt. I did not do the readings for any of my classes over the weekend, I did not do laundry, I did not scrub poopy toilets (can’t imagine why not, I’ve been looking forward to it so), and am cranky at work. This morning, I realized, to my great annoyance, that I still needed to pack a lunch for the baby. As I told Angela, I have a very, “You need fed AGAIN? I just fed you yesterday!” approach to parenting at the moment and all this needs to stop because I need to make a living, get my master’s and keep my kid alive. God, adulthood is such a drag.

I guess I need to watch some Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood or something.

I’m slowly (sloooooowly) working on an essay and I have TLC on in the background so I can half-watch crap shows about weddings and babies and interior decorating. What? It helps me think. Plus, the dishwasher isn’t working so I got all aggro. I need to balance out the testosterone before I go out to the street and start picking fistfights with strangers.

Currently, there’s a show on called Moving Up. One of the couples featured consists of a barber from New Jersey and a seamtress from Honduras. The husband describes meeting his wife: “I could tell she was a good one. That’s why I picked her. Snapped her up real quick.” What? He goes on to say that she’s a wonderful homemaker. The wife grins and says, “I try to be good.”

My new favorite couple takes a walk through their new house and they discuss what changes they’re going to make. The husband says that his oldest son’s room will be decorated in a baseball motif. “We want to push him toward baseball.” The designer, sure that he’s at least partially kidding, says that they don’t want to push him too hard because what if the kid wants to do ballet. “I’ll break his ballerina legs.” Oookay.

Later on in the episode, the wife is “out of the country” to “deal with some family things.” Did she suddenly realize she married a total douche?

* * *

Kids learn cause and effect pretty early, but I guess the finer points of that phenomenon take a little bit longer to sink in. Earlier, I was upstairs doing laundry when the baby yelled to me that he was having a nosebleed. I came down and was helping him clean up, when he said, “I don’t know why this happened. I was just picking my nose when all of a sudden it started bleeding.”

“Wolfman’s got nards!”

This week’s trip to Incredibly Strange Video yielded this gem from my childhood. Note that it’s the 20th Anniversary Edition. Gulp.

Also, if you are in the Pittsburgh area, ISV will be hosting a zombie double feature at the restored Hollywood Theater in Dormont. They’ll be showing the original Night of the Living Dead and the new Dawn of the Dead (which actually isn’t that bad). Show starts at 7:30 and costs $10.

MamaPop turns one today. Hooray!

Also, I filled in for Lena to do the Friday Eye Candy. It was really grueling, scouring through pictures of shirtless men. I’m exhausted.

What are you doing this weekend? I think I’m going to do something really exciting, like go to a 6-year-old’s birthday party and then mainline Tylenol.

I have a bottle of wine, too. That should get me through the afternoon.