but I'll leave you with this gem:
The other day while going somewhere in the car, I was thinking about how I'm very insecure. Despite this, more than a few people have told me that I come off as intimidating when they meet me. I pondered this for a minute and then decided that somehow that means that I win.
This has been Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.
So I'm thinking about buying myself a birthday present at http://www.sensualempire.com
I'm intimidated by the selection, though. Regardless, I'm in need of a supplement to my sexual diet. Like a vitamin, if you will. A vibrating vitamin. Yeah, if you couldn't tell, I've never gone shopping for this sort of thing. I don't know what I'm looking for.
Anyway, the current status is: moderately frustrated. It's been two weeks, mostly due to last week's visit from Aunt Flow (again, I'm just not down with the extra laundry). I'm thinking about maybe, once my mom gets her living room figured out, moving the TV out of here. Or at least the cable. It's no good. Last night instead of getting frisky, Tom watched some movie while I drifted off to sleep. sigh.
I started this entry last night, but due to LJ being weird and a minor screw-up on my part, it was lost and I didn't have the energy to start over. So here it is…
Yesterday was quite refreshing after the long and infuriating weekend, although I did actually end up putting in a full eight hours of work, what with writing articles, interviews, phone calls, and emails. My son was an absolute angel yesterday which made things much easier. Besides that, many pleasant things happened yesterday, not the least of which was a very sweet e-card that Jwan sent me, wishing me a good day after said infuriating weekend. The card was “Six Wishes to Brighten Up Your Day.” They were: A sunny drive in the country, the winning lottery ticket, a week on a tropical beach, nothing but green lights, a visit from a good friend, and more wishes. The great thing was that some of them actually came true…sort of. It's not the winning lottery ticket, but I finally cleared up the paycheck mess with the PG. I'm going to be getting my paycheck by the end of the month. Best of all,
My mom, unfortunately, had a bad day at work which meant that she was crabby with us when she got home, despite my best efforts to cheer her up. I hate when I ask her what's wrong and she just snaps at me, “NOTHING!” I guarantee you that in a few weeks we'll have some argument and she'll accuse me of never letting her talk to me about her problems. I can't win, I tell ya.
Last night, we finally put an end to the Kill Bill debacle when we went to see it at the Squirrel Hill Theatre. Apparently, Akil owed the boyfriend some money so he paid for us to go. The movie itself was pretty good, entertaining at least. I don't know. I just like watching Kung Fu movies, I'm not always concerned with the story. However, some of the scenes were really quite beautiful. However, don't go to see it if you have a weak stomach. Gory doesn't even come close to describing it.
I think the next movie on our plate is Mystic River. The title reminds me of a Harlequin Romance novel, but apparently the movie is supposed to be absolutely amazing. The New York Times won't shut up about how great it is. We'll see. My Uncle Jim is looking forward to it, and he hates everything. I think we're also trying to go see Intolerable Cruelty simply because of the Coen Brothers factor. However, Catherine Zeta-Jones has been turning me off lately. I don't know why.
Blah….today is mostly about housework. I've somehow accumulated about 20 loads of laundry in the past week. I'm also trying to suppress excitement over the Eddie Izzard show tonight. Eeeee!
Sorry to leave you guys hanging like that. I'm currently slaving away over an article but I know some of you are quite curious about my cryptic post from yesterday. I'm going to take an easy way out, for now, and post the AIM conversation between
whimpysmom (12:48:36 PM): tom's mom and grandmother came over last night to watch kingston so that we could go to a movie
whimpysmom (12:48:41 PM): i fandangoed tickets
VixenContrdction (12:48:49 PM): uh huh.
whimpysmom (12:49:04 PM): and i have an account all set up with my bank card on fandango
whimpysmom (12:49:28 PM): however, i left my bank card at pottery barn on friday, but have been using the card that my mom has since it's a joint account
whimpysmom (12:49:40 PM): but i didn't realize that the numbers on the cards were different
VixenContrdction (12:49:48 PM): ugh.
whimpysmom (12:50:10 PM): so when we got to loews last night, i went to get the tickets and the woman at the desk informed me that the card info wasn't correct.
VixenContrdction (12:50:21 PM): oh shit
whimpysmom (12:50:25 PM): so i tried to just purchase tickets but the 10:30 show was sold out
VixenContrdction (12:50:31 PM): aw man
VixenContrdction (12:50:37 PM): for kill bill?
whimpysmom (12:50:39 PM): so i went over to tom and lauren to tell them what happened
whimpysmom (12:50:40 PM): yeah
whimpysmom (12:50:55 PM): and to try to figure out if we wanted to wait around for the 11:45 show
whimpysmom (12:51:45 PM): see, lauren had cash that we could use to pay for more tickets and then we could just redeem the fandango tickets next weekend for something else
whimpysmom (12:51:55 PM): but i couldn't get that far in my explanation
whimpysmom (12:52:06 PM): because tom storms over to the guest services desk
whimpysmom (12:52:17 PM): and lets loose this stream of obscenities that i've never heard before
whimpysmom (12:52:20 PM): it made me ill
VixenContrdction (12:52:23 PM): oh no!
VixenContrdction (12:52:31 PM): jesus
VixenContrdction (12:52:35 PM): FUCKING MEN
whimpysmom (12:52:40 PM): the whole theater stopped and was silent and just listened to tom cuss at this poor woman
VixenContrdction (12:52:40 PM): argh
whimpysmom (12:52:56 PM): and i'm standing a few feet away screaming “TOM TOM STOP IT RIGHT NOW”
VixenContrdction (12:53:03 PM): omg
whimpysmom (12:53:23 PM): but he leaves, security AND the homestead police are called, because for all they know he's drunk or something
whimpysmom (12:53:33 PM): and i'm standing there bewildered
VixenContrdction (12:53:38 PM): holy shit
whimpysmom (12:53:46 PM): i went over to the woman and apologized
whimpysmom (12:53:56 PM): and she was relatively nice about the whole thing
whimpysmom (12:54:30 PM): then we go outside and tom is surrounded by the manager, a police officer and a security officer
whimpysmom (12:54:58 PM): and he's sounding like some crotchety old dood and saying how he's a dissatisified customer and all of this bullsht
VixenContrdction (12:55:11 PM): omg
whimpysmom (12:55:15 PM): and basically the manager said that's too bad but that we're not welcome back at loews
VixenContrdction (12:55:27 PM): all of you?
whimpysmom (12:55:34 PM): then the police officer, for no apparent reason, turns around and starts cussing at lauren
VixenContrdction (12:55:41 PM): OMG
VixenContrdction (12:55:48 PM): that's real professional
whimpysmom (12:56:24 PM): and she says something like “fuck you” and i'm standing there silent thinking “this isn't happening, this is not happening”
whimpysmom (12:57:01 PM): so all of a sudden we leave, and we're walking briskly back to the car and some fucking teenagers, totally unrelated to the incident, stop and start harrassing me
whimpysmom (12:57:37 PM): they're like, “what's up, white bitch? you're fucking ugly, get the fuck out of my face blahblahblah”
VixenContrdction (12:57:39 PM): what??!!
what did they do?
VixenContrdction (12:57:45 PM): OMG
VixenContrdction (12:57:54 PM): then what happened?
whimpysmom (12:57:58 PM): and i thanked whatever god that i wasn't armed
whimpysmom (12:58:23 PM): gave them the finger and walked to the car. thankfully they left me alone, because i was mostly worried that tome was going to drive off and leave us there
whimpysmom (12:58:43 PM): it was unbelievable. like for a half hour last night society just totally broke down
whimpysmom (12:59:03 PM): so we get in the car. and things are silent for a minute and then tom starts
whimpysmom (12:59:05 PM): bitching
VixenContrdction (12:59:06 PM): i'm so sorry.
whimpysmom (12:59:27 PM): and we get in this humungous argument over economics, existentialism and white privilege
whimpysmom (12:59:36 PM): because we're overeducated dorks
whimpysmom (12:59:52 PM): and i silenced tom with my amazing philosophical skills
whimpysmom (1:00:08 PM): but then we get home and the baby's up even though it's 11 p.m.
VixenContrdction (1:00:19 PM): man. guys can really just be so.. god i don't even know.
VixenContrdction (1:00:23 PM): good for you!!
whimpysmom (1:00:24 PM): and my mom, tom's mom, his grandmother and kingston are all in my room
whimpysmom (1:00:40 PM): and he starts telling them about how he got ripped off and blahblab
VixenContrdction (1:01:23 PM): what?!!??
whimpysmom (1:01:29 PM): and so i, with his family and mine to support me, told him that regardless of the situation, that kind of behavior was UNACCEPTABLE and that if i wanted that kind of bullshit, i would go live with my father or his father, because they both acted exactly like that
VixenContrdction (1:01:55 PM): nice!
VixenContrdction (1:02:03 PM): at least you had backup
whimpysmom (1:02:07 PM): yeah.
whimpysmom (1:02:30 PM): i went on this long rant about how abusive patterns repeat and that i know that he doesn't want to turn out like his father
VixenContrdction (1:02:48 PM): yeah
VixenContrdction (1:02:54 PM): so was he responsive?
whimpysmom (1:02:58 PM): and that, existentialism again, he has to CHOOSE not to be like that because it's in his blood to just do that
whimpysmom (1:03:13 PM): he still went on about the money and we more or less ignored him
VixenContrdction (1:03:15 PM): absolutely
VixenContrdction (1:03:30 PM): gah. do you think he heard you though?
whimpysmom (1:03:34 PM): but i can tell that he feels really bad about it today
VixenContrdction (1:03:46 PM): that's good.
whimpysmom (1:03:51 PM): he's like real apprehensive aroudn me
whimpysmom (1:03:59 PM): and tries to make jokes about it
whimpysmom (1:04:17 PM): but i just tell him that it's not funny
whimpysmom (1:04:20 PM): at least not yet
VixenContrdction (1:04:33 PM): yeah.
whimpysmom (1:04:39 PM): i mean, i know him, and i know that he'll always insist that his rant was justified.
VixenContrdction (1:04:48 PM): yeah
whimpysmom (1:04:51 PM): but it's not even the real issue at hand
VixenContrdction (1:04:53 PM): that's so exhausting
whimpysmom (1:04:58 PM): my concern is with his behavior
whimpysmom (1:05:05 PM): at least toward me and kingston
whimpysmom (1:05:26 PM): i asked him if he would go off like that at me for something
whimpysmom (1:05:38 PM): and he was like no it's different and i asked him how do i know that?
whimpysmom (1:06:03 PM): if he's willing to flip out on a perfect stranger over 30 bucks, what will happen when/if he and i have serious problems
VixenContrdction (1:07:09 PM): yeah
VixenContrdction (1:07:14 PM): ugh
whimpysmom (1:07:27 PM): so i think that really hit home with him
two semi-new terms in my son's vocabulary:
Bob Dylan (he pronounces it “Bob Gillan”)
Herbie Hancock (most of the time he leaves off the Herbie)
whimpysmom (12:48:21 PM): in a nutshell
whimpysmom (12:48:36 PM): tom's mom and grandmother came over last night to watch kingston so that we could go to a movie
whimpysmom (12:48:41 PM): i fandangoed tickets
VixenContrdction (12:48:49 PM): uh huh.
whimpysmom (12:49:04 PM): and i have an account all set up with my bank card on fandango
whimpysmom (12:49:28 PM): however, i left my bank card at pottery barn on friday, but have been using the card that my mom has since it's a joint account
whimpysmom (12:49:40 PM): but i didn't realize that the numbers on the cards were different
VixenContrdction (12:49:48 PM): ugh.
whimpysmom (12:50:10 PM): so when we got to loews last night, i went to get the tickets and the woman at the desk informed me that the card info wasn't correct.
VixenContrdction (12:50:21 PM): oh shit
whimpysmom (12:50:25 PM): so i tried to just purchase tickets but the 10:30 show was sold out
VixenContrdction (12:50:31 PM): aw man
VixenContrdction (12:50:37 PM): for kill bill?
whimpysmom (12:50:39 PM): so i went over to tom and lauren to tell them what happened
whimpysmom (12:50:40 PM): yeah
whimpysmom (12:50:55 PM): and to try to figure out if we wanted to wait around for the 11:45 show
whimpysmom (12:51:45 PM): see, lauren had cash that we could use to pay for more tickets and then we could just redeem the fandango tickets next weekend for something else
whimpysmom (12:51:55 PM): but i couldn't get that far in my explanation
whimpysmom (12:52:06 PM): because tom storms over to the guest services desk
whimpysmom (12:52:17 PM): and lets loose this stream of obscenities that i've never heard before
whimpysmom (12:52:20 PM): it made me ill
VixenContrdction (12:52:23 PM): oh no!
VixenContrdction (12:52:31 PM): jesus
VixenContrdction (12:52:35 PM): FUCKING MEN
whimpysmom (12:52:40 PM): the whole theater stopped and was silent and just listened to tom cuss at this poor woman
VixenContrdction (12:52:40 PM): argh
whimpysmom (12:52:56 PM): and i'm standing a few feet away screaming “TOM TOM STOP IT RIGHT NOW”
VixenContrdction (12:53:03 PM): omg
whimpysmom (12:53:23 PM): but he leaves, security AND the homestead police are called, because for all they know he's drunk or something
whimpysmom (12:53:33 PM): and i'm standing there bewildered
VixenContrdction (12:53:38 PM): holy shit
whimpysmom (12:53:46 PM): i went over to the woman and apologized
whimpysmom (12:53:56 PM): and she was relatively nice about the whole thing
whimpysmom (12:54:30 PM): then we go outside and tom is surrounded by the manager, a police officer and a security officer
whimpysmom (12:54:58 PM): and he's sounding like some crotchety old dood and saying how he's a dissatisified customer and all of this bullsht
VixenContrdction (12:55:11 PM): omg
whimpysmom (12:55:15 PM): and basically the manager said that's too bad but that we're not welcome back at loews
VixenContrdction (12:55:27 PM): all of you?
whimpysmom (12:55:34 PM): then the police officer, for no apparent reason, turns around and starts cussing at lauren
VixenContrdction (12:55:41 PM): OMG
VixenContrdction (12:55:48 PM): that's real professional
whimpysmom (12:56:24 PM): and she says something like “fuck you” and i'm standing there silent thinking “this isn't happening, this is not happening”
whimpysmom (12:57:01 PM): so all of a sudden we leave, and we're walking briskly back to the car and some fucking teenagers, totally unrelated to the incident, stop and start harrassing me
whimpysmom (12:57:37 PM): they're like, “what's up, white bitch? you're fucking ugly, get the fuck out of my face blahblahblah”
VixenContrdction (12:57:39 PM): what??!!
what did they do?
VixenContrdction (12:57:45 PM): OMG
VixenContrdction (12:57:54 PM): then what happened?
whimpysmom (12:57:58 PM): and i thanked whatever god that i wasn't armed
whimpysmom (12:58:23 PM): gave them the finger and walked to the car. thankfully they left me alone, because i was mostly worried that tome was going to drive off and leave us there
whimpysmom (12:58:43 PM): it was unbelievable. like for a half hour last night society just totally broke down
whimpysmom (12:59:03 PM): so we get in the car. and things are silent for a minute and then tom starts
whimpysmom (12:59:05 PM): bitching
VixenContrdction (12:59:06 PM): i'm so sorry.
whimpysmom (12:59:27 PM): and we get in this humungous argument over economics, existentialism and white privilege
whimpysmom (12:59:36 PM): because we're overeducated dorks
whimpysmom (12:59:52 PM): and i silenced tom with my amazing philosophical skills
whimpysmom (1:00:08 PM): but then we get home and the baby's up even though it's 11 p.m.
VixenContrdction (1:00:19 PM): man. guys can really just be so.. god i don't even know.
VixenContrdction (1:00:23 PM): good for you!!
whimpysmom (1:00:24 PM): and my mom, tom's mom, his grandmother and kingston are all in my room
whimpysmom (1:00:40 PM): and he starts telling them about how he got ripped off and blahblab
VixenContrdction (1:01:23 PM): what?!!??
whimpysmom (1:01:29 PM): and so i, with his family and mine to support me, told him that regardless of the situation, that kind of behavior was UNACCEPTABLE and that if i wanted that kind of bullshit, i would go live with my father or his father, because they both acted exactly like that
VixenContrdction (1:01:55 PM): nice!
VixenContrdction (1:02:03 PM): at least you had backup
whimpysmom (1:02:07 PM): yeah.
VixenContrdction (1:02:16 PM): i hate trying to argue with frank sometimes
whimpysmom (1:02:30 PM): i went on this long rant about how abusive patterns repeat and that i know that he doesn't want to turn out like his father
VixenContrdction (1:02:46 PM): because all of those years of “you're right frank” really come out.
VixenContrdction (1:02:48 PM): yeah
VixenContrdction (1:02:54 PM): so was he responsive?
whimpysmom (1:02:58 PM): and that, existentialism again, he has to CHOOSE not to be like that because it's in his blood to just do that
whimpysmom (1:03:13 PM): he still went on about the money and we more or less ignored him
VixenContrdction (1:03:15 PM): absolutely
VixenContrdction (1:03:30 PM): gah. do you think he heard you though?
whimpysmom (1:03:34 PM): but i can tell that he feels really bad about it today
VixenContrdction (1:03:46 PM): that's good.
whimpysmom (1:03:51 PM): he's like real apprehensive aroudn me
whimpysmom (1:03:59 PM): and tries to make jokes about it
whimpysmom (1:04:17 PM): but i just tell him that it's not funny
whimpysmom (1:04:20 PM): at least not yet
VixenContrdction (1:04:33 PM): yeah.
whimpysmom (1:04:39 PM): i mean, i know him, and i know that he'll always insist that his rant was justified.
VixenContrdction (1:04:48 PM): yeah
whimpysmom (1:04:51 PM): but it's not even the real issue at hand
VixenContrdction (1:04:53 PM): that's so exhausting
whimpysmom (1:04:58 PM): my concern is with his behavior
whimpysmom (1:05:05 PM): at least toward me and kingston
whimpysmom (1:05:26 PM): i asked him if he would go off like that at me for something
whimpysmom (1:05:38 PM): and he was like no it's different and i asked him how do i know that?
whimpysmom (1:06:03 PM): if he's willing to flip out on a perfect stranger over 30 bucks, what will happen when/if he and i have serious problems
VixenContrdction (1:07:09 PM): yeah
VixenContrdction (1:07:14 PM): ugh
whimpysmom (1:07:27 PM): so i think that really hit home with him
whimpysmom (1:07:42 PM): and i encouraged his mom to really lay into him, because she doesn't enough and really never has
VixenContrdction (1:08:14 PM): that's good. it's just so exhausting knowing that you have to be responsible for reinforcing a different behaviour and all that.
whimpysmom (1:08:34 PM): yeah.
VixenContrdction (1:08:51 PM): i feel so powerless against frank sometimes when i'm trying to mnake my point
whimpysmom (1:09:16 PM): sometimes i get really irritated and i want to say to his mom, “hey lillian, on behalf of the gender, i just want to say THANKS A FUCKING LOT FOR PUTTING YET ANOTHER QUALITY MALE OUT THERE FOR YOUR FELLOW WOMEN TO DEAL WITH YOU FUCK!”
Get Banned From Loews Cineplex Day!
Details later….
So I started this long entry last night about how wacky my day was yesterday, but it seems irrelevant now. Just draw your own conclusions when I tell you that my debit card is sitting at the Pottery Barn on Walnut Street and that my boyfriend had to refill his gas tank twice yesterday. At least there was cake at the end of it.*
I am upset this evening, kiddies, and I'll tell you why. I wrote this article for Pulp this week:
http://www.pittsburghpulp.com/content/2003/10_09/arts_dance.shtml
In exchange for writing the article, the artistic director of the company was nice enough to give me two comp tickets for tonight's performance, which starts at 5 p.m. I was really looking forward to going because the dancing seemed really interesting. Besides, who can resist a sitar? ;-p All of this took place about two weeks ago, and I had the whole babysitting thing squared away with my mom.
Last night, my mom's friend, Nora, who I generally don't like, took her out to some bar to celebrate. Apparently, they met some guys who are cameramen for ESPN and offered them passes to stand on the sidelines at tonight's Pitt football game. I'm not going to comment on how sleazy all of this sounds, because the point of all this isn't to talk shit on my mother and her friend. The rub is that the game starts at 6, which means my mom can't watch my son. She informed of all of this around 2 p.m., essentially cancelling my plans for me. I made a desperate attempt at finding a last minute babysitter with the boyfriend's mother, but she can't either.
I expressed some frustration with my mother for just cancelling the plans that we had made weeks ago and she responded with, “Don't try to make me feel guilty. I never go anywhere. You should be glad that I'm getting out and doing something,” thereby turning the guilt around on me, because, goddammit, SOMEONE was going to feel guilty tonight. Otherwise, the whole day is wasted. I couldn't hide my disappointment, which made my mother angry. So I called the boyfriend at work and told him that we weren't going to be attending the performance. He got angry at me AND my mother, which seemed like a perfectly logical reaction (not), and declared that he did NOT want to sit at home all night, so he was just going to stay at work until late. So now it's just me and the baby for tonight, which I guess is a good thing anyway since I have plenty of writing to do. On the other hand, it's just me and the baby for tonight, which probably means that I won't get any writing done and then be too exhausted for anything brain-related after he goes to bed. Bugger.
I'm quite upset with everyone's reaction and displays of pent-up frustration in my general direction. I've been quite teary and have been sitting here thinking, “Well, what did I do? Why's everyone all pissy with me.” I'm also upset that the two tickets will now go to waste, as it's such short notice and no one can take them.
It also doesn't help that I heard from Stacey in the first time in WEEKS today, and it was to invite me to some event at her grandmother's nursing home. the fuck? I'm a tad disappointed in her, as I'm always inviting her to fun cultural things, which she declines in order to go drinking with her masseuse friends. When she finally calls me it's to go hang out at a nursing home. I explained to her that I was sans babysitter and she asked, “Are you sure?” like I was turning my nose up at the event of the year. Who knows? Maybe it'll be bangin'. Oh well.
Another thing that doesn't help is the bonus load of Period Laundry** that I've had to do today. Yesterday, when I rolled out of bed and noticed that I had stained the sheets for the second night in a row, I exclaimed, “Golly, it sure is fun being 13 again!” I'm not sure what the problem is this particular month, but I've left my womanly mark on almost everything in this house. K, that's gross, sorry.
On the upside, I had a rather pleasant interview with an artist who is working with this organization called SALVO (you can read all about it in my article next week). We met at Emma's for coffee and talked about everything under the sun. She had a very loud laugh that silenced the place on more than one occasion, and had a very Molly Shannon/Sally O'Malley vibe about her, which I really dug. I also had a cute little phone conversation with
I should get some work done.
*It was my mom's birthday yesterday.
**Period Laundry is the extra laundry that a girl has to do during that certain time of the month when blood finds itself on panties, sheets, pants, towels, etc. For girls on the go, like myself, the extra pre-treating steps are a pain. Also, at almost-25, I feel rather old to be doing this. Shouldn't I have a handle on the pad/tampon situation by now? One would think…
In that survey thing that I filled out in my previous entry, I said a bit about the guy who was responsible for my first French kiss. His name was Kenny and we used to dance together. Well, he's still dancing at Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre and is now in the company. I'm listening to this program on WQED about the music of Swan Lake. The artistic director of PBT pops in every now and then to chat with the host about the ballet and the music. He was just talking about some of the dancers who will be in PBT's production of Swan Lake and started talking about Kenny and what a great dancer he is. Weird.
For the record, while he is or was an asshole, he is a pretty swell dancer.
Good lord. Sometimes my mother is fine and east to get along with. Sometimes she is slightly irritating. Other times she just fucking picks on me and I just want to pinch her in the arm (notice that I said “pinch” not “punch”). The day before yesterday, the baby and I walked up to Hallmark to buy cards for my mom, whose birthday is tomorrow, and my grandfather, whose birthday is on Sunday. I bought them both a card from the baby and a card from the boyfriend and me. Last night my mom told me to sign my grandfather's cards and that she would mail them tomorrow when she got to work. I signed the card from the baby and the card from the boyfriend and I, then left it out for the boyfriend to sign when he got home. A little while later, my mom came up to my room and asked me, panicked, “Kelly, did you buy Pap a card from you?”
“Yes, of course, I did.”
“Well, where is it?”
“I left it on the counter for the boyfriend to sign.”
My mom then rolled her eyes and began lecturing me like I was a little kid.
“NO! You have to send him a GRANDFATHER card that's JUST FROM YOU!”
“Why? I sent him from the boyfriend and me.”
“That's just not enough.”
And so on and so on…
I can understand the gesture, although my grandfather really wouldn't have cared (he's seriously one of the most laidback people I've ever met). Anyway, I told her that I would buy the card, and that of course meant that I had to buy her a Mother birthday card just from me.
This morning, I expressed some frustration at having to walk back to Hallmark and spend money on redundant greeting cards. The boyfriend said, “Yeah, since it has my name on it, it's like it doesn't count.” That made me feel pretty bad. I'm not sure what my family thinks of my relationship with the boyfriend. I really don't get the impression that they understand that the boyfriend is basically my husband. I can't help but get the feeling that they're waiting for me to ride out this “thing” with him and then find a “real” mate. My grandmother at times has even suggested places for me to meet men. It kills me. I mean, just think about it, why would I have a child with someone that I wasn't really serious about? Morons.
Anyway, the greeting card thing. My mom told me two or three times before I went to bed to get the card. This morning, I found a note that said, “Don't forget to buy and mail a card for Pap TODAY!” Then she called while I was in the shower and left a message on the answering machine that said, “Hey. Oh, you must be out buying and mailing a card for Pap.” Then she sent me an email this afternoon saying, “Say, did you mail that card for Pap?” I've ignored all of these helpful little reminders because it really pisses me off that she thinks I'm so incompetent and/or self-involved that I can't buy my own grandfather a card. (For the record, Hallmark had ONE grandfather card that wasn't juvenile, and it was one of those Mahogany cards. I'm probably going to get shit for that from my grandmother, who will point out that my grandfather isn't black. Fucking hell.)
The workers who have been doing the windows are finally getting ready to leave. This project took forever. Gah.
And…a survey that I stole from
Bridget. I do like it. I was baptized when I was five and was allowed to choose my own middle name. I originally wanted “Baloney” but settled on Bridget because this pretty girl in my nursery school class was named Bridget.
2. What's your best memory from high school? College?
High school…I don't know. High school kind of sucked, but I do have some good dance-related memories. Although, graduating ranks pretty high up there. College…I met some good people during my time in college and had many interesting classes. I wish I wouldn't have fucked around during the first half of my sophomore year and messed up my grades, but I did have many good times. Graduation also ranks pretty high up there.
3. Is it more important to be proud of yourself, or make others proud of you?
It's a balance. If being proud of yourself were all that mattered, you'd run into that problem where people might say, “I'd be really proud of myself if I were the next Adolf Hitler, even if everyone else was pissed about it.” So, I guess the ultimate answer is to try to make as many people proud of you as you can and then die from exhaustion and futility. Word.
4. If health weren't a factor, what junk food, if any, would you pig out on?
Chocolate and/or cookie dough. Although, it's not the health that's worrying me so much as the nausea and eventual spewage. Does that fall under health, too?
5. What was the last movie that made you cry?
Lost in Translation. Well, it didn't make me cry so much as tear up in a good way, but not in a sappy way. Forget it, it's a good movie, just go see it.
6. Would you give up your life for your best friend?
Yes.
7. If you had to lose either sight or hearing, which would you choose?
Hearing. I could still feel the things that were important to hear. But I think I would die if I couldn't see my baby's sweet face.
8. Do you have a favorite work of art, and if so, what is it?
I'll join the dork squad with
9. What animal are you most afraid of?
Spiders. I'm fascinated by them, but they seriously creep the shit out of me.
10. Have you ever made someone feel bad to make yourself feel better?
Probably. I can be a real asshole sometimes.
11. What is the first thing you can remember wanting to be when you grew up?
A dancer.
12. What's the worst injury you've ever sustained?
Probaby a sprained ankle. I'm not very injury-prone. I have had some nasty surgeries, though.
13. Do you live in the past, the present, or the future?
The present, although I will admit that I dabble in the future a little more than I should.
14. Have you ever stolen anything? If so, were you caught?
mp3's I suppose.
15. What habit would you most like to change?
Picking at my lips. They really look like shit.
16. What's your dream car?
It doesn't exist yet, but I'm sure it will soon: a hybrid VW Jetta or Passat wagon.
17. Are family gatherings an obligation or a pleasure?
Obligation. However, I usually have an alright time once I'm there.
18. How long have you and your best friend(s) known each other?
I've known Stacey for almost ten years. I met the boyfriend about 9 years ago but have only really known him for four years. The rest of my friends are in the process of being recategorized.
19. If you were to be cremated after death, where would you want your ashes scattered?
I liked
“I have actually researched being turned into fireworks. Turn me into a big fucking red commie star and launch that motherfucker over the Pentagon or something. ”
20. What quality is most important in a potential mate?
At a very basic level, intelligence, humor, and the ability to help me put things in perspective.
21. Does the future scare you or excite you?
Excites me. I really think that the baby, the boyfriend, and I are going to blow shit up, one way or another. ;-p
22. How old were you when you had your first real kiss?
It's fuzzy. I got a kiss from Josh Sprajcar, the love of junior high, when I was 12 during a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven. However, I could tell that he was really not into it. My first romantic kiss was with Billy Manzietti when I was 13 at my best friend, Annie's birthday party. (Billy was Annie's cousin. He was 16!) Then my first with-tongue kiss was when I was about 14 with this kid who I used to dance with. His name was Kenny Wang and he was from Taiwan. He was also a total asshole, but it's amazing how a lack of English will make a person blind to that.
23. Do you believe in reincarnation?
Not officially, no.
24. Is there a TV show you never miss?
Pretty much anything that HBO spits out: Sex and the City, Six Feet Under, Carnivale, The Wire. I've also seen every single episode of Roseanne.
25. What's your favorite time of day?
Whenever I get to spend time with the boyfriend and the baby just loving each other.
26. What's worse, being injured or being ill?
Being ill, because it sometimes seems like you'll never get better.
27. What accomplishment or achievement are you most proud of?
My son, although it's not like my parenting will ever be done, you know?
28. Dogs or cats?
Dogs, or as the baby calls them, “Gogs.”
29. Have you ever been mad enough to lose control?
Yeah, but not psychotic, kill everyone mad. Screaming, foaming at the mouth mad.
30. What's your favorite mode of travel?
Planes are alright, trains are not as fun as I would have thought, car trips are cool. It all depends how long and who you're going with really.
31. Are you a good tipper?
Yes, always.
32. What would be the worst job in the world for you?
Tanning booth tester.
33. Name three things you would put in a time capsule that would best identify you to future civilizations.
A picture of my little family, a print-out of my LJ, lip balm
36. Favorite quote from a movie or song?
Probably any line from “Isn't She Lovely?” by Stevie Wonder. I was thinking about that song last night and just how fantastic it is. Plus, lovely is one of my favorite adjectives to describe a child or a woman.
