kdiddy.org

I thought of an absolutely fantastic new title for my journal the other night. Unfortunately it popped into my head a few seconds before I fell asleep and now, for the life of me, I can't remember what it was. I bet, since I was so close to sleep, it really wasn't that funny…it just seemed that way at the time. Crap anyway.

I stubbed the absolute fuck out of the two little toes on my right foot earlier. Somehow I managed to not see the huge white box that is my refrigerator when I was walking into the kitchen.

I saw kids in Catholic school uniforms today. That was a little weird.

Yesterday morning, I had the rare experience of sleeping in until 10 a.m. I didn't wake up all rested and pleasant, however. I was still in a grumpy mood from the brawl with my mother the night before and had not fallen asleep until almost 3 a.m. I had sat up watching TV and fretting. My mood did not improve when I realized that I would have to rush around getting everything ready to be out in Forest Hills by 11. Stacey's nephew's 2nd birthday party was about to be getting underway. Coffee, english muffin, email, skip shower, clothes, diaper bag, stroller, car seat, baby bike, to-go breakfast for baby, wake up baby, change baby, dress baby, entertain him with sippy cup, blargh! During all of this frenzy I realized three things: I did not have a birthday card for the rugrat, I was not going to make it to the Hipster Yard Sale, I had not phoned Shanley the night before like I had promised to. “No wonder everyone hates me,” I thought. My mind also drifted to the lack of writing that I had done the week before and I began to feel guilty. Guilt was replaced by confusion as I started to remember the bizarre dreams that I had the night before (capital punishment, nipple piercing, Dashboard Confessional, as a stand up comedian, Men in Black 3, Lord of the Rings.)
I gathered up the boyfriend and we piled into the car. I stopped at Eckerd and grabbed a shitty “You're 2!” card.
We got to the birthday party around 12 and spent most of the time convincing the baby to not steal basketballs off of the other children. Lunch was welcome but disappointing. The fried chicken tasted like Equal, the potato salad was far too mayonnaise-y. The pasta salad was good, though. We stayed just long enough to watch the presents being opened and to sing some Happy Birthday.
After that we drove all the way over to South Park for a family reunion. Not close family, but the boyfriend's late grandfather's brothers and sisters and their offspring. Trying to explain that to people I briefly conversed with there was fun, “Um, I'm Kelly, and my boyfriend is that guy, whose grandmother is right there and she was married to Chuck, but he passed away last year, and I guess these people are his brothers and sisters but I don't know any of their names.” The whole vibe was just very strange. The only people I talked to were other parents of toddlers and we figured it was polite to introduce ourselves after breaking up fights over the baby's little bike. (It was a hot item.) I was there with the boyfriend, his mom, his grandmother and his sister and we generally didn't reunite with anyone.
The food situation was very strange. Since the boyfriend and I had dined at the birthday party, we weren't very hungry when we got there. The boyfriend's mother and grandmother, however, are that type of women who think that if you're not immediately scarfing down the food that they're offering, that there's something wrong with you.

“Have some chicken. Have some biscuits. Have some fruit. Have some cookies. Have some tomatoes. Have some broccoli salad.”
I just was not hungry right away and every time I turned down a different dish they would look at me out of the corner of their eyes as if I had just insulted their very existence. They offered me all of the food at least three different times until I finally got fed up and said, “Guys, seriously, I'm fine. When I need something to eat, I'll let you know.” That seemed to really offend them, but what the fuck? I'm not going to eat until I get sick.
The upside, however, was watching the baby warm up to the playground. He really got into the slide and we eventually had to drag him away from it. I think I got some good pictures.

My brain's about to melt.

I can't tell you too much right now because I have not had any coffee. However, once I have had some coffee I will tell you about my Sunday that was spent under rustic wooden pavillions in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, dining on fried chicken and food issues.

To and : I am so very sorry that I did not attend the Hipster Yard Sale this past weekend. My tribe was not being very cooperative and I seem to have become a total space case.

To : Good luck on your first day of University!

but I had a fight with my mom. I don't know how many of you can relate to this, but does your mom ever say something like, “Why do you have such and such issues? You shouldn't have those issues. Get over them. Stop it. Stop having issues.” Which issues, mom? Oh, you mean the ones that I got from you? Those ones? The ones that you're still dealing with? So me being insecure and a doormat as a result of years of absorption from you and the temper that I got from my dad…those traits that you guys still wear on your sleeves…I shouldn't have them, but you can hang on to them for 50 years? That's a little selfish, don't you think.

Anyway, I came down here to unwind and explained it to a little bit.

Joelandrewtyson (12:45:19 AM): Are you still planning on doing the Pittsburghese article?
whimpysmom (1:11:25 AM): yeah.
Joelandrewtyson (1:11:31 AM): haha
whimpysmom (1:11:38 AM): sorry, my mom had to come down and play, “let's get emotionally fucked up.”
Joelandrewtyson (1:11:38 AM): that was a delayed response
Joelandrewtyson (1:11:43 AM): nice
Joelandrewtyson (1:11:55 AM): thats always fun… at 1:00 am
whimpysmom (1:12:02 AM): for fucking real
whimpysmom (1:12:18 AM): i love it when someone's like, “blahblahblah i think you have issues”
whimpysmom (1:12:30 AM): and i say, “yeah, thanks, i know i have issues. i'm working on them.”
whimpysmom (1:12:49 AM): and they say, “issues are dumb. you should get rid of them right now….i'm keepin' mine though.”

Joelandrewtyson (1:13:07 AM): ?
Joelandrewtyson (1:13:11 AM): weird
whimpysmom (1:13:25 AM): that was the gist of the conversation
whimpysmom (1:13:37 AM): interspersed with, “oh my god, would you shut up?”
Joelandrewtyson (1:13:43 AM): haha
Joelandrewtyson (1:14:13 AM): what issues was she talking about… if you want to tell.
whimpysmom (1:14:26 AM): my short temper
whimpysmom (1:14:30 AM): my insecurity
whimpysmom (1:14:48 AM): and i guess the long ass time it takes me to get rid of them
Joelandrewtyson (1:14:52 AM): why was she briningthem up now??
whimpysmom (1:15:18 AM): well, kingston was all wired and not trying to go to sleep tonight
whimpysmom (1:15:47 AM): so tom and i were just goofing off with him for awhile, watching movies and stuff. but i figured that it was high time that he went to bed
whimpysmom (1:16:00 AM): i took him into his room where he proceeded to get mightily cranky.
whimpysmom (1:16:13 AM): which i expected and i was handling
whimpysmom (1:16:39 AM): my mom however comes to the door and starts cooing, “what's wrong?” i said, “oh, he's fine, don't worry. he's just overtired.”
whimpysmom (1:16:56 AM): she insisted on taking him from me and putting him to sleep since he obviously wasn't happy with me
Joelandrewtyson (1:17:08 AM): oooo my
whimpysmom (1:17:09 AM): i got offended and said, “i really hate it when you don't listen to me.”

Joelandrewtyson (1:17:12 AM): that's a no no
Joelandrewtyson (1:17:18 AM): thats way out of line
whimpysmom (1:17:19 AM): that's what i said.
Joelandrewtyson (1:17:23 AM): maybe offering once
whimpysmom (1:17:24 AM): my kid. i handle it.
Joelandrewtyson (1:17:30 AM): but insisting?
Joelandrewtyson (1:17:43 AM): angela would have ripped her head off
whimpysmom (1:17:52 AM): i understand that he loves her and all but it really upsets me when she does that
whimpysmom (1:18:06 AM): and she knows that it does, but it's just another one of my “issues”
whimpysmom (1:18:14 AM): according to her, i should be grateful
Joelandrewtyson (1:18:19 AM): that's not an “issue”
Joelandrewtyson (1:18:25 AM): That's total bullshit.
whimpysmom (1:18:30 AM): and i am….when i've asked for her help
Joelandrewtyson (1:18:36 AM): She needs to back the fuck off.
whimpysmom (1:18:40 AM): that's what i said
Joelandrewtyson (1:18:41 AM): =]
Joelandrewtyson (1:18:51 AM): In the nicest way possible…
Joelandrewtyson (1:18:52 AM): heh
Joelandrewtyson (1:18:59 AM): But seriously, that's bs.
Joelandrewtyson (1:19:12 AM): She's taking advantage of the situation.
whimpysmom (1:19:19 AM): but she said something like, “so you would rather your son cry and be upset than be with someone he loves just for YOUR own reasons?”

whimpysmom (1:19:34 AM): like, turning it around on ME and my selfish mothering tendencies.
Joelandrewtyson (1:19:48 AM): No, that's not selfish mothering.
Joelandrewtyson (1:20:02 AM): ITS MOTHERING – You're his mother. Jesus.
whimpysmom (1:20:05 AM): i know!
whimpysmom (1:20:23 AM): so i just had to blow off some steam so i came down here to get my mind off of it.
Joelandrewtyson (1:20:43 AM): That's not an insecurity issue or whatever, that's a boundary issue. And it's hers.
whimpysmom (1:20:45 AM): usually if i feel a “discussion” coming up i have to do that or else i just scream and flip out and look like an idiot
Joelandrewtyson (1:21:20 AM): Man… it's tough.
Joelandrewtyson (1:21:40 AM): You know you're right, but you know they (parents) have little chance of changing for the better.
whimpysmom (1:21:43 AM): so she came down to see if the lights were out and discovered me on here. then she started to get into it, and kept interrupting me….and i screamed and flipped out and looked like an idiot
Joelandrewtyson (1:21:54 AM): =]
Joelandrewtyson (1:22:40 AM): Does she do that often?
whimpysmom (1:22:40 AM): and i'm just crying and saying, “i KNOW that i have issues that i've brought on myself and i'm sorry that i was a shit to you upstairs but you need to just LISTEN TO ME.”
whimpysmom (1:22:58 AM): do what?
Joelandrewtyson (1:23:32 AM): The whole, you know “you have issues” thing.
Joelandrewtyson (1:23:53 AM): Therefore I don't actually have to listen to what youhave to say.
whimpysmom (1:24:18 AM): well, she often accuses me of not having respect for her, which isn't the case. i just have a very short temper and my mouth tends to get ahead of me.
whimpysmom (1:24:29 AM): i try to reign it in but it doesn't always work
Joelandrewtyson (1:25:01 AM): Well… I'm sorry.
whimpysmom (1:25:04 AM): then i just look like i'm having a temper tantrum
Joelandrewtyson (1:25:11 AM): heehee
whimpysmom (1:25:12 AM): and, really, who wants to listen to that?
Joelandrewtyson (1:25:18 AM): right
Joelandrewtyson (1:25:35 AM): well… i think people do listen …. eventually
Joelandrewtyson (1:25:44 AM): but parents are the worst to get through to
whimpysmom (1:25:51 AM): it's not disrespect as much as it is me just being a tad nuts
Joelandrewtyson (1:26:23 AM): well… it's more having to do with you trying to express yourself as an adult
whimpysmom (1:26:33 AM): yeah, definitely.
Joelandrewtyson (1:27:01 AM): and if she doesnt respond to that… you have little else to do
whimpysmom (1:27:08 AM): but she's always been so overprotective of me…which has obviously backfired
whimpysmom (1:27:20 AM): she's never just stood back and let me fuck up
whimpysmom (1:27:31 AM): because she's always wanted to be “supportive”

Joelandrewtyson (1:27:35 AM): right
whimpysmom (1:27:54 AM): but it just pisses me off because she thinks that i'm trying to say that i'm unhappy. and i'm not. i'm actually quite happy.
Joelandrewtyson (1:28:20 AM): yeah… i get into that with my mom too.
whimpysmom (1:28:24 AM): i have a great relationship. i have an adorable baby. i don't worry about where my next meal is going to come from or where i'm going to sleep.
whimpysmom (1:28:40 AM): my basic needs and desires as a human being are met. i'm happy.
Joelandrewtyson (1:28:41 AM): like the whole, you aren't fullfiled and thats why you act that way…
whimpysmom (1:28:47 AM): yeah
Joelandrewtyson (1:28:54 AM): i feel like saying “no, it's just YOU!”
whimpysmom (1:29:06 AM): i get very frustrated by some of my friends who are constantly depressed
Joelandrewtyson (1:29:12 AM): “everyone else I interact with treats me like an adult.”
whimpysmom (1:29:20 AM): i understand having chemical imbalances. i had postpartum
Joelandrewtyson (1:29:31 AM): yeah
Joelandrewtyson (1:29:38 AM): that stuff is weird.
Joelandrewtyson (1:29:53 AM): i mean… i'm essentially depressed i guess… or just lazy
Joelandrewtyson (1:30:09 AM): i donno… but like zach is really really depressed…
Joelandrewtyson (1:30:14 AM): its frustrating
whimpysmom (1:30:30 AM): but, i don't worry about getting blown up every other day like people in other parts of the world do. i don't scrounge for scraps in a garbage heap to feed my malnourished children
whimpysmom (1:30:40 AM): those people have a right to feel depressed
Joelandrewtyson (1:30:49 AM): very true
whimpysmom (1:30:58 AM): white kids living in america need to quit it
Joelandrewtyson (1:31:08 AM): ha ha

The rest of the conversation was about how depression has become a marketing tool and working out titles for my DJ megamix CD.

but this one was kind of funny. I'm not too flattered by the John C. Reilly bit, but whatever. Everything else is on point.

Your Life: The Movie by mintyduck
Who will play you:	John C. Reilly
Who will play your love interest:	Kevin Smith
Weeks you will stay in the box office:	19
Song that will play during your love scene:	Weezer – No One Else
Song that will play during your death:	Johnny Cash – Hurt
Your name:
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

The boyfriend, the baby, and I had the best day! We spent all day at the zoo just walking around, checking out all of the animals, bonding. It was great. It was a gorgeous day, too. I feel all fulfilled or some shit. 🙂

I had so much fun last night. That's about as far as I can think at the moment.

Very soon, I have to walk to the bank to deposit some cash for the boyfriend. After that the baby will retire for his nap. I will continue doing housework and intermittently writing (I'm burnt out from the PG article…even this entry is a strain). I also have to call Shanley.

Tonight, we're going to the Warhol for Good Fridays to see Norm Talley. We're planning on bringing the baby with us, marking his first trip to the Warhol. So hopefully he'll dig it.
Once we take the baby home to Grandma and put him to bed, we're folling Mr. Talley down to Sauce, because we're weird. Much activity. I hope I make it through.

1. When was the last time you laughed?
Just a few minutes ago. The baby repeated a bad word and I couldn't help myself.
2. Who was the last person you had an argument with?
The boyfriend. We were watching Gosford Park the other night and he kept asking me what other movies all of the actors were in. I kept telling him that I didn't know and he would insist, “Yes, you do.” Not really an “argument,” but annoying nonetheless.
3. Who was the last person you emailed?
Some guy who needed to know the shipping costs for an eBay item that he bought off of the boyfriend.
4. When was the last time you bathed?
About an hour ago.
5. What was the last thing you ate?
An english muffin with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! and black raspberry preserves.

I spent several hours at Toys R Us last night trying to find a birthday gift for Stacey's nephew, Michael, who's turning two in a few days. That was kind of a pain since I don't know Michael that well and Stacey wasn't being that much help. From what I can gather, the only things that Michael likes to play with are ride-on toys and balls. Trying to find something that he didn't already have a million of was a true challenge. I ended up buying him this fire truck that might be a little young for him but I was about to give up anyway.
I saw a couple of toys that I really want to get for the baby…and a couple that I really want to get for myself. ;-p
The best part was that I had these gift cards that I've had since the baby was born. I was able to buy Michael's present, plus a few cool things for the baby and not actually spend any money. Score.
I think we're going to go try and enjoy the sunshine.

I was in the kitchen fixing salad for me to eat and for the baby to throw on the floor, when all of a sudden I started singing “I Hope that I Don't Fall in Love with You.” Weird.

I am officially done with the intersection of Penn and Main. Too many crackheads. Today when I was waiting to cross, one of the neighborhood drunks decided to cross before the light turned green, but took his goddamned time crossing. I watched his bowed legs stagger to the other side while a queue of about 10 cars waited to turn, honking their horns and giving birth to midday road rage. Since all of my trust in the ettiquette and non-murderous ways of motorists has been all but erased, I let the cars turn before I scurried the rest of the way across. However, the last car in line decided to inexplicably stop mid-turn and look around while I waited, stranded in the middle of the crosswalk. I generally get offended by derogatory statements about women drivers but I'm beginning to see a pattern. Ladies! Quit making us look bad! Get your head out of the clouds and drive properly!

I have hausfrau crap to do.

Our mail came today at about 9:45 a.m., which was really bizarrely early (adverb much?). It was mostly bills and credit card offers but one very excellent thing arrived: my new contact lenses! I feel nothing short of reborn now that I can see without having to rub my eyes constantly. Ahhhhh….
Now, if I can just scrounge up enough money to get some new glasses. I shall call this scrounging, “Vision Quest.”
*snort*