kdiddy.org

In the “Oh my god, I'm so sick of hearing about that” category:\
Michael Jackson's parents are prepared to adopt his kids, which is great, considering what a bang-up job they did with their own. Haven't all of the Jackson children written at least a book and an album about how their parents were psychotic?\
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In the “What the hell is the world coming to?” category:\
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11-year-old boy pleads guilty to savagely murdering a 3-year-old\
Ugh.\
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In the “Fuck OPEC” category:\
OPEC wants aid\
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Isn't it cute when you look over and see that your toddler has somehow procured some Christmas lights and is trying to stick the bulbs into an uncovered outlet?\
I am an awesome mother!

“Tired” just doesn't even begin to cover it.

Do we know yet if we're getting paid time in exchange for our now-obsolete invite codes?

Wow, I'm finally getting my hair cut tomorrow. This is good. Now I can show up to Craft Day in Greensburg looking all stunning and all of those Greensburg people that I've never met will say, “Wow, 's friend Kelly is so fabulous!” And maybe will say, “Kelly is so much prettier now!” But probably no one will notice.\
Speaking of Craft Day, I was thinking of bringing booze but since I know that at least two toddlers will be there I'm rethinking that.\
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On a completely unrelated note, there's an article in Pulp this week about books by local authors being sold in independent bookstores.\
http://www.pittsburghpulp.com/content/2003/12_11/news_cover_story.shtml\
Pretty cool. I'm trying to make it a point this year to do a good chunk of my Christmas shopping at local stores instead of giving all of my money to the Big Boxes. I will confess that last night I committed quite the retail sin and ordered some books and DVDs off of the dreaded barnesandnoble.com but I had a coupon and they were books and DVDs that I could get anywhere so…yeah.\
But anyway, I am going to be doing some shopping on Butler Street here in Lawrenceville and I invite all Pittsburgh people to do the same. You can find out more about the businesses on Butler Street here:\
http://www.1662designzone.com/index.htm\
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I'm going to try to sneak in a shower.

****NOTE*****\
Most of you who aren't idiots like I am will probably know not to type up a big post and then get curious about that “rich text” link down at the bottom of the page. Because I'm sure you'll know that it will EAT YOUR HUGE POST!\
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Let me try to remember what I said…\
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Bedtime tonight was uncharacteristically difficult. I'm thinking of chalking it up to the baby having a late nap today and, therefore, being a little out of sorts when it came time for bed. We did the usual bedtime routine, but when I put the baby down, he started crying…and crying…and crying…and crying until I couldn't take it anymore. I went in and sat with him in the rocking chair for over an hour while he kept fighting off sleep. At one point, just as he was drifting off, he woke up and said to me, “Kelly B. \’c0Que pasa?” which was, um, odd. I taught him that phrase awhile ago so it wasn't like he was suddenly fluent in Spanish, but it was still strange. He also told me a couple of stories, including walking me through the major plot points of this book that we last read, like, a week ago called Baby and Bunny or something. Basically, there's this baby and this bunny and they pop bubbles, wear beads, look at books, hug dollies, then the bunny hides, the baby cries, the bunny comes back and they have a happy reunion and that's it. I also had to keep shooing my mother away who insisted on popping her head around the door and hissing, “He wants me!” because I knew he didn't even if he did ask for her a few times.* A few times at certain levels of exhaustion I have handed the baby off to her but I recently had to put the kibash on that. I know now that as soon as he sits down with her he'll start saying, “I want Mum,” and as soon as I sit down with him he'll start saying, “I want Baba (my mom).” So it's best just to let me handle things.\
The boyfriend, who is once again doing the four-hour hour, is going to get an earful from me whenever he gets home for leaving me alone with his demon spawn while he was out having a pizza playdate with his boyfriends.\
Gah. I was going to get a shower tonight, too, but now it's too late. I just want to bathe, people. That's all I'm asking for.\
I'm going to go to sleep before I get even crankier.\
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*For the record, he also wanted his bus, his red car, his trucks, his trains, and I had to fight to retain rights to my hair, my nosering, and my ponytail holder. Just so you know, it wasn't just me being bitchy to my mom.

Flannery O'Connor wrote your book. Not much escapes
your notice.\
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Which Author's Fiction are You?
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My mom asked me what I might like for Christmas the other day. I said that I would really like a subscription to Hip Mama. Today I got my first issue. This rules.

I'm trying to be very quiet and still because I want the baby to sleep a little longer. He was acting kind of sick last night (slight fever, chills, crankiness, wouldn't let me finish building my Lincoln Log ranch), so now I'm thinking that every extra minute of sleep will be beneficial. He did get a flu shot but with the little ones they only give them a partial dose. In a month, I'm supposed to call his doctor and, if there is any vaccine left (which is looking less and less likely by the day), send him in for the second dose. The boyfriend assured me that the flash of illness was probably just his immune system working with the vaccine, but I couldn't help but worry. When my kid gets sick, he gets really sick and I just can't deal with it. I'm so thankful that he doesn't have any serious illnesses. I would have to be sedated the whole time.\
Anyway, enough of that talk.\
I went to bed earlyish last night, as I've been doing this whole week. I'm trying to work the kinks out of my schedule so that I don't feel so ineffectual all the time. In addition to waking up early so that I can get things done before the baby wakes up, I'm thinking I'll also start showering at night. My hair doesn't get too psychotic if I stay up long enough to let it dry. You should see it when I just go to bed with it wet. Bride of Frankenstein, my friends…Bride of Frankenstein.\
However, with the exception of today, the baby's been waking up increasingly early, rendering my early arousals pointless. Work with me, baby! In any case, I haven't had to get too much done this week since Pulp seems to hate me and didn't give me any writing assignments. :-(\
Oh yeah, I was talking about last night…\
The boyfriend came home from taking his calculus final (I can't even type the words without getting a chill) and was rather giddy since I guess it went well. We did bedtime with the baby and then he went back out to do goofy shit with friends of ours. He said, “I'll be back in about an hour,” which, in Boyfriendese means, “I'll be back in about four hours.” I watched The Crow, listened for any hurlage or other distress from the baby's room, chatted with about sick babies and capitalism, and worked on the mix CD that I've been making for for about four months now. It's shaping up to be a bit of an anthology, as I've finished one disc and I believe there will be two more discs before all is said and done. I've finally said, “To hell with finding the perfect sequence,” and resigned myself to sending off a rather schizophrenic set of CDs that switches genres faster than Madonna. I do have a confession to make. I'm new to the whole CD making process and have fucked up several times now. I won't go into details but I know have at least two CD-Rs with big, blue Sharpie X's drawn over them containing only a Bill Withers song or two and a quote from Spaceballs. But I'm determined to finish this anthology and send it off with a holiday greeting…killing two birds with one stone.\
Anyway, as predicted, the boyfriend came home several hours later. There was miscellaneous groping and many nonsensical statements about hot dogs on my part since I was fast asleep and dreaming about Eddie Izzard when this all happened.\
On a side note, those of you looking for good birth control and are okay with taking hormones, I have to give my full endorsement to Ortho Evra, or The Patch. It seriously fucking rules and it's good for people who tend to forget things on a day-to-day basis (read: the Pill…BAD).\
Alright, this entry's been random enough, methinks, and I'm starting to get a coffee headache. I also hear some stirring coming from the baby's room. Let's hope I am greeted by a healthy toddler!

My mom and I are both, supposedly, protected from the flu.\
My arm is very sore and I think it's spreading to my back. Ow.\
The baby had his 2-year checkup yesterday which went quite well. He actually grew and gained some weight this time around, which means he's now on the charts. Before he was in like the -5 height and weight percentile for his age. He's still napping, the boyfriend's studying for a final, and I'm shuffling around, sort of doing laundry, but mostly wasting time on here.\
grog.