kdiddy.org

Today, I've had to wrestle a computer virus to the ground, attempt to type with a huge fucking band aid on my thumb that's covering a cut that I gave myself with my own fingernail, deal with a very annoying offspring (I don't know what his problem is), and attempt to drown out the white trash family's children who are just screaming at each other in between fistfights. The screaming is only interrupted by their drunk grandmother who comes out every two hours to tell them to “Shut the fuck up.” Oh, but only a few more days of this. They've been evicted since they haven't paid their rent in three months. Lovely. I'm also fretting because my driving test is tomorrow and no one loves me enough to take me parallel parking. I also applied for a job a week ago and am still waiting to hear something. AUGH!
For good measure, I also hate my clothes and my hair.

Last night I watched Riding in Cars with Boys, the Drew Barrymore chick flick from two years ago. It's not a good movie in and of itself, but I saw it when I was about six months pregnant and had a pregnant/scared/mother-son moment that I just can't shake. Hormones will do that to you. Barrymore's character has some nasty moments as a mother. I don't think we're supposed to feel sorry for her, but some of the things she says could easily be thoughts that run through my head at my most insecure moments. Luckily, I don't ever actually say them. And I definitely don't write them down in a book and have the book turned into a movie so that everyone can see what a little prick I can be.

The baby and I went for a walk today to the library. I was envisioning some quiet mother-son time, poring over books that I loved to read when I was little and then patting myself on the back for being such a great mom. ;-p However, when we got there and walked into the children's section, we were greeted by two little boys. One was about 4, the other maybe 6. I looked around for a parent but figured that the only person in charge of them was their slightly older brother who was engrossed in one of the computers, distracted only when they would occasionally tap him on the arm to tell him something. “Oh, well,” I thought. “Maybe we'll just have a little impromptu playgroup.”

The two other boys were very nice but just didn't quite understand how to play with the baby. They tried to do some kind of conga line with him as the leader which just sort of confused him. Then all three of them started pulling books off of the shelf and despite my suggestions that we sit down and read something, I mostly just ended up with a lap full of books. The baby, of course, got excited and started running around the children's room squealing. Sensing the irritation of the adults at the nearby computers (but not the older brother…argh), I began making preparations for our exit. After I had scooped up the baby and received a scowl from a curmudgeon at the computer cluster (ergh), I found the two other kids crawling all over and into the stroller and making engine noises. Hi, it's an Evenflo, not a Porsche. Thanks.
I told them that we had to go home for lunch but would be back the next day. Honestly, I probably will go back tomorrow because I forgot my library card today. If there were just another parent there to help me out it wouldn't have been a problem. But, shit, I can't deal with three kids. Especially when I only have true authority over one of them.

So we left and took our time going back home. I took a picture of this rather gorgeous black cat who was nice enough not to cross our path but did sit and pose prettily. Lawrenceville really does have some amazing houses. They're not huge but they have a lot of original architecture and detailing that just looks so classy. Maybe when the baby wakes up from his nap we'll take another stroll and check out some other houses.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/Movies/08/10/hines.obit.ap/index.html

Gregory Hines died.

So far this year we've lost Nina Simone, Barry White and now Gregory Hines. Legendary talent is being dealt some severe blows.

The mysterious pain in my knee has not gone away. I have no idea what happened to it. I can only hope that I'm not sleepwalking and spending hours genuflecting somewhere before returning to bed.

I know that I've said before that Ikea and I have had disagreements in the past and that I was pretty sure our relationship was over. However, I received the new catalog with the paper today and I'm beyond giddy. I'm in the middle of mentally redecorating the entire house while shushing my mother's complaints of, “But it's too contemporary!” Yeah, that and the fact that we have no money for such frivolity.

I picked up my prescription yesterday and I was way too excited about it. I'm quitting the Pill and going on the Patch. The IUD proved to be just a little too expensive at this juncture. But I am just too frazzled to deal with the daily appointment of the Pill. I needed a more low-maintenance form of Baby Repellant and this will do just fine for now.

I didn't get any of the food that I was craving yesterday so that kind of sucked. But the boyfriend and I spent a lovely evening together. Lovely.
Also, I managed to catch a repeat of Real Time with Bill Maher last night and see Janeane Garofalo's new look that the boyfriend had told me about. Very blonde, which isn't that shocking, and very skinny. She was wearing a big tshirt but the sleeves were cut off, so I could see that her arms were much tinier than they've ever been. What's going on, Janeane? I wonder if it's her sobriety. Beer does make one pudgy. But still….

I think we're going to try to go swimming today. The baby has a rather large supply of those swimming diapers and I want to use them up.

I need
-my prescription from Eckerd
-feminine hygiene products
-money to buy both
-the baby to take a nap
-the mysterious pain in my knee to go away
-just one or two articles of new clothing, specifically bottoms…skirts and pants. and I had a conversation about this yesterday and how shorts generally suck. Honestly, I don't think they're flattering on anyone, but they seem to be a hot-weather necessity.

I want
-some sushi
-some chai
-some chocolate
-some homemade gazpacho
(obviously, I don't want all of these things at the same time. That would probably make me sick)

If I don't do anything fun today I'm going to be really annoyed.

Here's an excerpt from an entry that I made back in January:
Major things that need to happen:
1) Get a motherfucking job….
2) Get my driver's license….
3) Lose weight….
4) Get a haircut….
5) Work on day care for baby….
6) Organize my crap….

Now, while I don't have a full-time job, I have had work free-lancing. That counts for something.
My second driving exam is on Wednesday.
I've lost 21 pounds.
I've had two haircuts since that entry but my last one was way back in April. I'm definitely due for another trim.
I've made definite progress in the daycare search, although I really can't commit to anything as my employment search constantly changes.
My crap is still in shambles.

All in all, not bad. I still have four more months to complete these “resolutions,” which is what they technically are. I've never been big on New Year's Resolutions, though.
There are other, huge, long-term goals that can be added to that list but it's better if I don't. I start getting all panicked.

Last night, when we got home from visiting the boyfriend's family in Brookline ( I was in your hood again!), there were a couple of messages on the answering machine. The most important one was from our friend John, or Crotch, as he is affectionately known, asking the boyfriend what he was doing next May 22nd. Our little Crotch is getting married and wants the boyfriend to be one of his groomsmen. Awww. That means I get to see the boyfriend and all of our grungy friends dressed up in tuxedoes. That will be too funny.
So, we'll be spending another weekend in lovely Athens, Ohio *snort*. The last time we were there was two years ago for this girl Beverly's wedding. Beverly was Crotch's old girlfriend. At the time, Crotch and his bride-to-be had just started dating. Of course, I, the party-crasher, showed up to that ultra-Christian wedding three months pregnant and not married, choking back some vomit while making fun of the pastor during the ceremony. Little did I know that the pastor's wife was sitting right next to me. Sigh. I'm really such a liability.
Crotch and his fiance are really into Jesus but they're generally not too irritating about it (“You're my friend and all but you should repent and stuff”). Crotch has become increasingly conservative in his beliefs, political and otherwise, which is disheartening, but what can you do? I like his fiance. They came to visit me right after I had the baby and she was sweet enough to make him this cute little blanket that we still use. They had a hard time hiding their discomfort with the fact that I was curled up on the couch in sweatpants, fighting off a uterine infection and getting teary every five minutes, but who can blame them?
Hopefully this wedding will be a little more fun. Beverly's was kind of small and low-key and the DJ absolutely sucked.

Other exciting (for me) news from last night: my grandparents gave my mom and I early birthday presents…an Oreck vacuum cleaner, an Oreck handheld vacuum and a very sleek Rowenta iron. I'm way too excited. Our current vacuum cleaner is this chrome Kirby monstrosity from 1981. It weighs at least 20 pounds and has one of those ridiculous headlights on the front. It is a humongous pain to carry up and down the steps so, consequently, I never vacuum. That bugs my mom. But I'll definitely be doing some damage with that puppy.
Anyway, stuff to do. Later.

Sorry about last night's drunken post, everyone. I hope you at least got a kick out of it. The baby and I both got plenty of sleep last night but for some reason he is in a horrid mood this morning. I think he's cutting a molar. Poor kid.
Well, I am getting off of here and getting right to work. If I don't have my PG article in today I will flog myself.

Returned from the Pulp Cocktail Party at the trying-to-be-swank Deja Vu lounge. Typing is difficult. Free drinks and food are easy. Good conversation with Shanley about…crap. Cool people that I met: Lynne Margolis, Alice Winn, Alexei Somethingsomething, Matt Somethingrandomhipster, Tim Somebodyrandomsciencewriter, BJ Somebodywearingbaggyjeans, Steve SoontobeRollingStoneintern (bite me), Shawn (Sean?) Israel, Shawn Brackbill. Shawn Brackbill. Met the guy and he apparently forgot me minutes later. At the end of the night as I was saying my goodbyes I said to Shawn, “Nice meeting you.” His response? “Um, I don't think we met…” Who's the lightweight now, motherfucker? I looked at his mouth real hard and said, “Aren't you Shawn?” “Yeah…” “Well, I'm Kelly and we met earlier.” “Oh…” I then went on some self-deprecating drunken apology for him because I'm an idiot. Fucking hipster photographers. You're lucky you're cute. Oh well.

Anyway. I love my boyfriend but I have to admit that I'm a little disappointed that he wasn't up for the secretish De La Soul Concert this evening. What the hell? I looked cute, too. Sort of. The too-big-slightly-dumpy denim skirt kind of killed it. But who am I kidding? I'm tired as hell. I guess I'm getting back at him for last night's dirty rice breath with my Absolut Citron breath.
Must go to bed. Drink water. Avoid hangover.

Love,
Carrie Bradshaw/Donatella Versace/belligerent hag

One more musical tidbit: I realize that the Black Eyed Peas have had some kind of catharsis, but that song is still kind of shitty. Sorry. And who is that girl in the video?

Note to self: Kelly, if you're going to make dirty rice for the boyfriend and the baby, remember not to go anywhere near their mouths unless you've had a hearty helping yourself. ew.

The baby slept until about 12. I slept until 11. I'm all confused now. I'm not sure what day it is.