kdiddy.org

I forgot to mention that on Monday my dad stopped by in remarkably good spirits. Turns out that the EEO got wind of his termination from the Postal Service and decided to take it up with his bosses. I can't remember all of the details of what's going to happen but basically there's going to be something called a resolve. If my dad wins, which it sounds like he probably will, he will get his job back, along with all of his back pay, benefits and lawyer's fees. Good stuff. He's trying not to get his hopes up just yet but it's looking pretty good for him. Now he can stop being depressed. It's too bad that a person's job would be the keystone to their entire happiness but I guess that's just how some people are.
CMU: I went there yesterday to talk to this guy in Human Resources. It went really well and I think I'm going to have a job there by the summer. Next week I'm going to the temp services at CMU and getting hooked up with them. My plan, albeit a tentative one, is to work for a year or so, saving up enough money to get some bare essentials (place to live, car, hopefully). I'm also hoping to do some free-lancing in the meantime in order to keep the writing thing going. Then once things feel a little…grounded I'm going to uproot everything and try to go to grad school. But I can't really think about the whole grad school thing right now because it just makes me too nervous.
War: I've been trying not to comment too much on it because I don't want to go off on rants that make little to no sense. But I just wanted to say how sad I was when I saw the headlines this morning and all of those civilians had been killed. Man, I bet there aren't any international terrorists itching to blow up our entire country now.
So I feel kind of silly talking about jobs and grad school and whatnot when people on the other side of the world are getting killed for no good reason. It's just too confusing to think about sometimes.

Last night I had the rather enjoyable experience of seeing Sigur Ros live at the Byham Theatre. Sigur Ros are from Iceland and I think they're one of those really divisive bands. Anyone you talk to either really loves them or flies into psychotic rages at the mere mention of their name. Of course, that just might be a characteristic of the circle in which I travel because everyone I know is absolutely out of their fucking minds. 🙂
Anyway, I really liked the show. It was an odd time, though. Sigur Ros' music isn't exactly condusive to dancing or going buck wild…it's more of a sit-in-your-seat-and-let-your-emotions-and-memories-take-hold-of-you kind of deal…Of course, I just made it sound like a Lifetime Television for Women movie. Oh, well.
I think many people would be inclined to call them the Icelandic Radiohead and I suppose there's an element of truth to that statement. Sigur Ros seem to have just skipped right over Pablo Honey and The Bends and gone straight to the weirder sonic experiments on OK Computer through Amnesiac. (And another thing, I don't know when it became “deck” to hate Radiohead but you can all bite me.)
But the main thing that I came out of the show thinking is that, way more so than on their albums, you can really see that they go just completely balls-out trying to make as many different sounds as they can. However, it doesn't result in a cacophony of garbage. It's actually quite beautiful. The lead singer has this somewhat creepy high voice and spent much of the show screaming stuff like, “AWAAAAAOOOOOOOOO” and “EWWWWYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” It felt a little overly emotional at times but I think Iceland will do that to a person. I remember seeing some show one time that talked about the drinking problems and depression of people up there due to the weather. I'm pretty sure it's one of those regions that spends half of the year in darkness. I could be wrong, though. Maybe that was Greenland…no, isn't Greenland just like a frozen tundra? I remember hearing that the Vikings discovered them both and named Iceland Iceland to confuse people into going to frozen Greenland, thereby keeping nice little Iceland to themselves. Those Vikings were devilish, weren't they?
Of course, this being Pittsburgh, there were a few hecklers. One guy ran up to the stage and held a sign up to show the band. No idea what it said…the bass player just sort of looked at it and gave him a “Okay, please leave me the fuck alone” grin. Then a guy sitting directly behind me and to my left screamed, “ALCOA GO HOME!” At first, no one could understand him so he repeated, “ALCOA GO HOME! LEAVE ICELAND ALONE!” Someone told him to shut up, ala Michael Moore at the Oscars. I thought it was kind of a dumb moment to start a protest that might, at best, sound quite condescending. If only Bjork had been there. She could have smashed in that guy's head with a safety deposit box. Bjork = rock.
But I spent some time with Bradford, who I hadn't seen in ages, and his ever-present companion Molly, who's looking more and more like a tackle box every time I see her. Molly, I seen the needle and damage done, you know? Give the piercings a break. But I find myself not as annoyed by her behavior as I have been in the past. I think, like most people, she just hates the boyfriend and tends to take that out on me. Because, you know, a woman is nothing more than her man. Misogynists.
Well, my son seems intent on doing harm to himself so I have to go intervene. I'm also going to CMU later to talk to some guy at Human Resources about getting a job there. Military Industrial Complex, be damned. I want their bomb-ass health insurance. My baby needs shots.
Later

The baby seems to really like the tattoo that I have on my lower back. Any time I sit down and it becomes visible he walks over and kisses it. How strange.
Alright, my Nonfiction 2 class last night…overall, not bad. We had a whole-class workshop of a few people's immersion rough drafts. Two of them were pretty funny. One girl went to the O on a Saturday night from about 11 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. My favorite quote from her evening: “She was like, 'You should pledge' and I was like, 'You should die.'” spoken by a bulimic sorority sister wolfing down some fries. Another girl spent a day at Panera observing the various yuppie families that dined there. It was pretty great, but hard to explain.
There's one girl in my class, I may have mentioned her before, who I really don't like. I don't know where she's from but she seems to think Pittsburgh is very wild and urban and dangerous. She's probably from Cranberry. She did her immersion at a biker bar which she described as “the single most terrifying experience of my life.” I think she went to the Voodoo Lounge in the Strip. Not exactly hardcore by most standards. Granted, I wouldn't choose to spend an evening in a biker bar but that's just because I'm not that into leather.
Another girl spent Saturday night at Pegasus. I don't know how it turned out for her but her expectations of the place were, I thought, extremely high. Now, I like Pegasus, don't get me wrong. But people who haven't been there seem to think of it as some underground den of gay hedonism. I guess. She kept saying stuff like, “I've just heard about things that go on there and I just think it will be a very illicit experience.” Whatever. I guess if you've never seen a gay person before, let alone a whole room full of them the public displays of affectation and good makeup can be a little disarming. Maybe it was just the prospect of seeing 300 well-groomed, attractive men in one place and not a single baseball cap (hurrah!). In any case, she was scared. Of course, I haven't been to Pegasus in about 4 years. Maybe the place has changed dramatically. But when I was there last it wasn't much different than any regular night club…except for the music was better and the people were better-looking…okay it was a lot different. I suppose that would be very shocking to someone who's used to, um, like, Sing-Sing.
The baby and I were going to take a walk but my mom is useless and doesn't keep her cell phone on. If I don't call her to let her know that we're going out and she comes home to find us not here she'll immediately start calling the police and assuming the unthinkable has happened to us. Did you like that run-on sentence?

I woke up to hear the sound of the baby tearing paper in his crib. I'm going to start calling him Oliver North.
He totally destroyed this book that my grandmother gave him. He's such an anarchist.

Two more things about the Oscars…
Who let Sean Connery raid Liberace's closet? And why do Nicole Kidman and Renee Zellweger look so strange lately? They're all squinty and angular. Are they getting face lifts already?
Also, Sean Connery I'm pretty sure was doing the accent up a little more than normal:
“Over the yearsh, shome of the finesht of Hollywood'sh actreshesh have won the Besht Shupporting Actresh Oshcar…”

I have a lot of explaining to do.

I. 17th Birthday party last night

Well, it was on Friday so not really “last night” anymore. I've never seen that much pizza in my life.

i. My creative gift wrapping

The little sister always wraps presents in newspaper so I decided to do the same but added a collage aspect. The collage did not have any particular theme. Pictures of W., Brandon Knight, Rachel Corrie (about to get bulldozed), Bombs Over Baghdad (ha) and random soldiers adorned the Fela Kuti CD (which she hated) and the Eddie Izzard DVD (which she liked). My mother was disturbed by my choices of wrapping paper for a birthday gift, a supposedly joyous occasion. But the little sister “got it.” I'm not sure what that says about me…or her. It was a kick ass collage, though.

ii. being surrounded by teenagers

This wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be because they were all downstairs watching TV while us “old people” were upstairs talking about heart medications and dead people. I'm at this weird age where I can't sit at the “kid's table” anymore and I don't really give a shit what the old biddies are talking about. So I just I sort of nod.

II. Picking subject for immersion for Nonfiction 2
i. Process

Alright, immersion is Pitt-talk for feature, like one you would read in a magazine. The rough draft was due today and it was going to be more about writing scenes than structure or anything. I had this pretty good idea of going to a birth center, talking to some midwives and natural birth advocates and ideally witnessing a birth. I had it all planned out in my mind. But actually getting access to midwives or births proved to be much more difficult than I thought. So Friday morning after yet another failed attempt to gain access, I decided that I should probably start thinking of something else to write about. I racked my brain and really couldn't come up with any ideas. So I grabbed Pulp and started looking through their events listings, particularly for things that happened weekly so that I could go to it more than once. I found Shift Saturdays, this “alternative to the bar scene” Christian get together for young people.

ii. excitement

This was perfect. My teacher, the Esteemed Ms. Laskas, had advised us to look for something that would be very unfamiliar and uncomfortable for us. I'm not comfortable around religious gatherings and Christian Contemporary Music makes me shudder. I called Stacey and we were ready to go get saved.

III. Immersing myself at Victory Christian Fellowship.
i. Driving to Bum Fuck

VCF is out in Cranberry Twp. which is basically suburban hell. It also takes way too long to get there. We got lost several times thanks to mapquest's shoddy directions and Millvale's lack of street signs. We didn't get there until about an hour after the thing had started so there was only about a half hour left. This made me a little apprehensive since we're supposed to spend at least a couple of hours with our subject. I'm going to have to go back which both excites me and fills me with dread. (I should take a moment here to explain to those of you who are religious and thinking of taking offense to my condescension towards religion that my dread has nothing to do with Christianity in particular. I'm one of those stereotypical Gen-Xers who doesn't like organized religion or whatever buzz phrase you want to put on it. I'd be just as unhappy at a gathering for an Eastern religion or something…well, maybe not, the ceremonies for those tend to be somewhat cooler. Anyway…)

ii. getting saved and shit.

I fucked up with my tape recorder and unfortunately didn't record the sermon that was taking place when we walked in but the pastor was talking abouth how homosexuality can be cured. Also how premarital sex or too much sex will, like, ruin your life. I guess. We also met this yinzer named John who was about 40 and looked a little out of place. He had this Members Only jacket on and I'm pretty sure he was there to pick up chicks. Kind of strange. He takes a class up 'ere at Slippy Rawk.

IV. Krispy Kreme

We were stressed and starved afterwards and since I'm trying to retain my commitment to non-smoking (Stacey's still a chimney and sometimes the mere presence of cigarettes can send me into fits of nicotine hysterics) we headed to Krispy Kreme right down the road.

i. Krispy Kreme can save the world.

I hate people who say, “I don't get it. They're just doughnuts.” They're so fucking not. Anyone who's had a fresh, hot glazed doughnut late at night knows what I'm talking about. They're just so amazingly good.

ii. Free doughnut? Weight Watchers will just have to shut the fuck up

Yeah, when we got there a batch had just come out of the oven? fryer? whatever. This kid walked over and just handed us a doughnut each. I had a moment of weakness I suppose and inhaled the doughnut with some degree of vulgarity. I even licked the wax paper afterwards. It sent me over my WW points for the day but I figured I deserved it. It had been a rough week and I had burst into tears for no discernable reason twice that day. I needed some sugar and fat to get me back onto an even keel.

I watched the Oscars last night on our crappy little 3 1/2″ TV since we couldn't get ABC to come in on my TV. Now, I don't want any comments on here about how the Oscars are fixed, dick-sucking, pile of bullshit and how could I watch those being the cinemaphile that I am? I fucking know that they're bullshit but I'm still going to watch them. Leave me alone.
Anyway, I was really glad that Chris Cooper won. He's a cool guy and he rocked in Adaptation.
Michael Moore's acceptance speech for Bowling for Columbine was especially funny. As you've probably heard by now, he got booed off the stage more or less. What I couldn't figure out is that any time someone made an anti-war statement the whole crowd went nuts. When Bowling for Columbine won the whole theatre was up on its feet cheering wildly. It's Hollywood, so it's a liberal crowd, right? So Moore starts his speech and just starts ripping W. a new asshole. 80% of the place starts booing him. Everyone else just sort of sat there and looked like they had hemmorrhoids. I didn't get it. I guess we're supposed to support the president but poo-poo everything he does? Whatever. Those Hollywood types are fickle little fucks. Plus, I refuse to believe that anyone there voted for him…since practically no one in America voted for him anyway. hehehe. I suppose if your anti-war statement wasn't blubbered through tears and completely ambivalent it just wasn't considered valid. Annoying.
Well, I'm starving and I think the baby is more than ready for a nap. Ta for now.

I'm fading fast, so I'll make this quick…in fact, I'll just do an outline of what's to come when I have the time and energy (tomorrow) to go into detail.
I. 17th Birthday party last night
i. My creative gift wrapping
ii. being surrounded by teenagers
II. Picking subject for immersion for Nonfiction 2
i. Process
ii. excitement
III. Immersing myself at Victory Christian Fellowship.
i. Driving to Bum Fuck
ii. getting saved and shit.
IV. Krispy Kreme
i. Krispy Kreme can save the world.
ii. Free doughnut? Weight Watchers will just have to shut the fuck up.

So, kids, I have a headache and must retire. Many entertaining stories await you but you must be patient.
Nighty, night.

Last night, I realized that in the midst of all of the funeral hubbub I had gotten the dates mixed up for the civil service exam that I was scheduled to take. I was supposed to take it on the 19th but I kept thinking I was supposed to take it today. I was pretty angry with myself for being disorganized and that was compounded by the fact that I didn't get to sleep in at all this morning, regardless. The baby was up at around 7:30…I was up watching the war (that sounds kind of strange) until about 2.
My uncle Jimmy came over and pontificated about…whatever he pontificates about. He was nice enough to watch the baby while the boyfriend and I got his little sister birthday presents at L'Avant d'Eau (I don't care if that's not proper French).
Speaking of which, I have to wrap those presents. I'll write more later.

That's supposed to be ICQ but I don't think it came out right. I was looking at my contact list a few minutes ago and realized that I only talk to about 4 of the 36 people that I have on there. That's kind of sad. That ICQ list used to be bumpin'. That used to be the spot where all kinds of exciting conversations took place. There are a few that I think I can safely delete, people who I never actually talked to. A few who I know that I'll probably never talk to again I can't bring myself to delete. It's like it's all a part of the past three years of my life and I can't let it go.
Three years ago my life was so different…but of course whose wasn't, right?
I'm getting all mopey because I've been overly stressed this week and on top of that I'm getting a cold. I've sneezed about 40 times in the last five minutes. Argh. I just want to sleep for the next 6 weeks and wake up when it's time to get my diploma. Can't that be arranged?

I turned on the little TV in the kitchen about an hour and a half ago just to see what was going on. Watching the footage from Baghdad and hearing the air raid alarms started to make me physically ill so I started flipping around the channels to see if anything else was on. I stumbled onto Fox and found, to my dismay, that Jerry Springer was on. I really don't understand how this show ever became a pop culture vice to millions of college students. It's really not even entertaining. Apparently they have just done away with the chairs for the guests and make them stand and fight. At one point, the two women both flashed the audience for no discernable reason. Seriously. The conversation was something like, “You're not allowed to sleep with my husband anymore.” Titties. “Well, you're an ugly bitch.” Titties. It sounds funny but it wasn't.
But anyway, we did the whole funeral scene yesterday which was sad, but c'est la vie, no?
In related news, my WW is going a little better today. No out-of-control eating like yesterday or the day before. I'm still struggling with a general lack of healthy food at my disposal which makes me even more eager for my license. Going to the store by myself, with the baby, on the bus is just such a laughable situation.
I'm doing my immersion for Nonfiction 2 on midwifery. I called this birth center on the North Side today and the receptionist sounded offensively suspicious of the whole thing. I'm not sure what she thinks I'm up to. Oh well. She said she would have the midwife call me back but no word yet. I'm just going to have to call tomorrow or something. It's pretty hard to get anyone interesting to talk to you when you're “just a student.” I fear that my immersion will go from this interesting topic to something like, “A Day at the 61C Cafe.” Fuck. Of course, half of the kids in my class stated that they were going to do their immersion on their favorite bar because, “it's much more interesting than your average bar.” Yeah, right. I think I went through this phase (although I can't totally remember) that most people in their early 20s went through. They all think that these bars are really fun places where all of these great characters hang out. They're not. One kid actually said he wanted to write about one of his frat's parties. Give me a break. Basically, most people were saying, “I'm drinking this weekend, assignment deadlines be damned. I'll just write about where I'll be anyway. Hopefully I won't be too smashed.”

Anyway, I feel compelled to go off on a politically-charged rant. I'm enraged that we are attacking Iraq. I can sincerely say that I wish nothing but illness and misery for George W. Bush. I hate him. And I don't throw that term around lightly…not seriously anyway. It baffles me that he can talk so much shit about establishing democracy in Iraq but in order to do that he feels the need to defy every democratic process on the way there. But I don't know what to do about it. I think we are wasting our time with protests. They are obviously falling on deaf ears. But what else is there to do? Violent action? That would be just as hypocritical an action as Bush's war.
Sigh.