kdiddy.org

We have more important matters to tend to now…such as Wu-Tang Clan:

The baby is six years old today. That, if you weren’t aware, is really crazy. This morning, after I woke him up with my warbly rendition of “Happy Birthday” and forced some oatmeal into him and pushed him onto the school bus after a rousing game of “I’m gonna kick snow on your shoes. STOP IT!”, the husband and I drove into work/school and I mentioned that at that time six years ago we had a brand new, tiny baby and I was enjoying the world through the lens of morphine.

Our memories of the actual birth are very fuzzy. I was induced and we discovered early on that the baby had turned and was poised to enter the world feet-first. My doctor came in the morning and tried to turn him. The baby’s heart rate plummeted and they rushed me back for a C-section.

I remember the nurses scurrying down the hall with me, crying. I remember clutching one of many awesome nurses as they gave me the spinal injection. I remember my legs feeling like they were disappearing and slowly becoming quite out of it. I remember the husband appearing by my side, focusing on my eyes because he didn’t want to see what was going on down below. I remember them saying that the baby was out shortly after 8 a.m. I remember hearing my son cry for the first time a few minutes later.

The husband remembers going to Jimmy John’s to get a sandwich after everyone was settled. Whatever.

Anyway, one of the gifts that we got him is a copy of Now We Are Six, because it’s awesome and I got it when I was six and what’s nicer than cuddling up with some Winnie the Pooh? We also got him this awesome hat:

We got that at Hot Topic of all places. Apparently, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends is huge with the pseudo-punk/indie/goth/hipster set. Can’t blame them. Foster’s is awesome.

Final assignment 1 of 3: Done.

Due at: 1:30 p.m. today
Completed at: 1:10 p.m. today

I will make no claims as to the quality of the paper, since “done” was what I was shooting for. I aim high. The more you know, n’at.

At some point, someone remind me to think about how I want to go bowling soon and how I might make that happen.

You need to bring back the original Spirograph. Trust me on this. Hasbro butchered it and vintage sets are going for mad loot on eBay.

Rings. Cogs. Paper. Colored pens. Done.

I wonder if my old set is still somewhere at my dad’s house…

The baby and I took the day off. He started coming down with something last night. We dropped him off at my mother-in-law’s house so that we could run to the mall to grab him a few birthday gifts and right before we left he was like, “Blah.” And when we got back he told me, “I want to go to bed right away.” Never a good sign. This morning he was complaining that his stomach was hurting and he was coughing and stuff and I reasoned that he might as well stay home. If he was coming down with something serious, getting him home from school would be a total joke since the husband is at school all day today. Then came the question of who would tend to him. I sat in bed for a few minutes trying to figure out something with the husband’s grandmother, but then figured the hell with it. I’ll just stay home with him.

Not entirely the best time of the semester to take the day off, but I was really in dire need. Especially since I have a paper due tomorrow and honestly I didn’t know how I was going to get it done. Sometimes it’s all just too much, you know?

The baby seems to be doing alright now. He went to the bathroom and that seemed to help enormously. I am feeling a little duped by him, but oh well. I can’t believe he’s going to be 6 in two days.

By the by, apologies to anyone who stopped by here yesterday when my site was all fux0red. I had managed to screw something up when I was experimenting with text wrapping and it took me forever to figure out. For awhile I thought I was going to have to go with a new theme and that had me all worked up. I’m apparently very attached to this one.

Alright…now for that paper…

I’ll give the birthday party a quick recap tomorrow. Right now, I am gleefully horizontal on the bed.

You know who’s surprisingly funny? Joe Rogan. We managed to catch a stand up special of his from 2005 on cable somewhere last night and I was dying. I always thought he was just some tool who watched people eat sea cucumbers on Fear Factor. He basically gave the plot synopsis of Idiocracy during a good chunk of his routine (obviously this was before that movie was out), and it was fantastic. He talked about how stupid most people are and how screwed we would be if all of the smart people just died out. One of his lines was, “If I dropped you in the middle of the woods with a hatchet, how long do you think it would be before you sent me an email?”

Anyway, I mention this because I was doing some laundry and decided that I wanted to find out how to wrap text around in image in WordPress. I went to the support forums and was directed to a tutorial and then my brain went “Ow.” I consider myself pretty computer-savvy and possessing the ability to figure things out, but apparently this is beyond me…Okay, been fiddling with it for 20 minutes and maybe “wrapping text” means something different to the folks at WordPress. Nyergh.

A bad Saturday (n): any Saturday during which you have so much homework to do that it makes you cry and your mom calls you a total of 11 times and your mother-in-law calls you a total of 6 times, both with “quick questions.”

They want me to drink, don’t they?

Someone posted an old commercial for the Mickey Mouse Talking Phone on the vintage_ads community the other day. I totally had that phone. The buttons were kind of hard to press and I remember chewing on the phone cord because it had a satisfying, rubbery taste. I realize now that this is kind of strange. Hey, at least I didn’t choke myself with it, which is what kids would do with it now. Anyway, two really great things about this commercial: the blue shag carpeting of ridiculous height, and the announcer’s cheery voice when he says, “With the Mickey Mouse Talking phone, the batteries are not included!” Like this is a marketable feature.

At some point yesterday, static descended upon our house and it is no longer safe to touch anyone or anything. I don’t remember it being this bad last year…but it’s possible I was just shocked so severely that my memory is on the fritz.

What’s my name again?

The husband was playing records last night and I stayed home because I was very, very tired. I ended up staying up late anyway watching the first two episodes of The Tudors on OnDemand. That show is alright. I seem to have trouble separating actors from their previous roles, so every time Jonathan Rhys-Meyers’ Henry consulted Sam Neill’s character, I felt compelled to yell, “Watch out for the velociraptor!” And Buckingham was Duncan in Last of the Mohicans and it seems like that guy gets typecast as The Sucker.

***

I halfheartedly threatened the baby with permanent toy removal if he didn’t get all of his toys off of the living room floor. So he piled them all up on an armchair. I’m not speaking to him at the moment.

When he’s in school, the baby doesn’t really watch TV during the week. So he gets a healthy dose of it on Saturdays. He revels in the braindeadness of it all and he keeps absentmindedly playing with the doors on our Ikea entertainment system cabinet thing. It’s slowly driving me insane because three seconds after I tell him to stop he’s back at it and since the furniture in question is Ikea, being touched has caused one of the doors to become crooked.

I’m a big sucker for gadgets, which is why I try to avoid watching shows like this. However, I did end up watching an episode the other night and they featured this espresso/cappuccino machine from DeLonghi and this morning I realized I was daydreaming about it. Even though I get pretty annoyed when I see these being used in a coffee shop, I wouldn’t mind having one at home…because I am not (or am no longer) a professional barista so I think I get to have the dummy, push-button version.

So, yeah, as soon as I have $1,500 to spend on a coffeemaker, it’s mine.

Today, I have to knock out at least some of my final projects. Saturday, I need to get last-minute stuff for the baby’s birthday party and maybe a gift or two for my spawn. Sunday is his birthday party. It’s 1 – 3 p.m. so I imagine from 2:30 on I will be nursing a migraine. Monday, the husband goes to court for the hearing of our burglar, but I’m almost positive that they will postpone again. Apparently they can postpone the hearing three times and the tactic involved there is to discourage the witnesses/victims from continuing to show up. I don’t know. The last time I was there everyone seemed pretty indignant. I think the dude will be going down eventually. If he postpones this time, that will be the third time. So I think we’ll definitely be having a hearing in January.

Other than that…classes (last 4!) Monday through Thursday. User testing on Monday and Tuesday for my software documentation. Final paper for Style due on Wednesday. Baby’s birthday on Thursday. Software documentation due on Friday. Final portfolio for Prof & Tech due on the 14th.

Then: drinks.