kdiddy.org

I'm wearing new pajamas. My aunt gave them to me for Christmas and they're nice flannel separates with this goofy print on them. It says “Glamour” all over them and has these drawings of 50s-looking women. However, I think I should have washed them before putting them on. *itches*\
We went out to Brookline once again tonight to visit with the boyfriend's father. It was a pretty nice visit. We chatted, played with the baby, ate pizza (every once in awhile I rediscover my total love for pizza), and discussed stuff. I discovered that I have two new pimples.\
Today wasn't very productive other than that. The baby and I busted out his new tracks and stuff for the Brio train set and made a massive track that covered almost the entire living room floor. It was pretty impressive. The carpeting has a tendency to fuck things up, though.\
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The boyfriend is playing Tony Hawk and I'm about ready to throw the PS2 out the window. All I hear is the fucking soundtrack (which sucks this time around), the clickety-clack of the controller, and the boyfriend going, “FUUUCCCCKKKKKK! WHAT THE FUCK! Dude, this game is so cheating…what do I have to do?…why is it doing that?…what the fuck?…okay, let's see…” Understand that he's not saying any of these to me, he's just talking to himself.\
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On a completely unrelated note, I want to share with those of you who might care the playlist from the anthology mix CDs that I made for .\
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CD 1\
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“If I Should Fall from Grace with God” – The Pogues\
“Lovely Day” – Bill Whithers\
“You Are the Sunshine of My Life” – Stevie Wonder\
“Ghost Trains” – Erlend Oye\
“Kiss Off” – Violent Femmes\
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“Dy-Na-Mi-Tee” – Ms. Dynamite\
“I Am the Black Gold of the Sun” – Nuyorican Soul\
“New Day” – Andy Caine\
“Shrimp” – Mr. Scruff\
Steven Wright quote from Reservoir Dogs\
“Is It All Over My Face” – Loose Joints\
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“Funky Kingston” – Toots & the Maytals\
“Superstition” – Stevie Wonder\
“The Harder They Come” – Jimmy Cliff\
“Plastiphilia” – Dopplereffekt\
“P.Y.T.” – Michael Jackson\
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“Denki No Zuno” – Dopplereffekt\
“Ug” – Mr. Scruff\
“Use Me” – Bill Whithers\
“Shades of Jae” – Moodyman\
“I Like Your Mom” – The Bouncing Souls\
“The Bomb” – Bucketheads\
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CD 2\
\
“No No No” – Dawn Penn\
“Kiss You Back” – Digital Underground\
“Cars” – Gary Numan\
“Damn, It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta” – The Geto Boys\
“I'm Left, You're Right, She's Gone” – Giorgio Moroder\
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“Believe (MJ Cole mix)” – Goldie\
“California Soul” – Marlene Shaw\
“I Chase the Devil” – Max Romeo & the Upsetters\
“I Against I” – Mos Def and Massive Attack\
Quote from Spaceballs\
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“Heads High” – Mr. Vegas\
“Funky Worm” – Ohio Players\
The Tetris Theme – Ozma\
“UFO” – Photek\
“The Shadow” – Rob and Goldie\
“Crazy” – Seal\
“Strawberry Letter 23” – Shuggie Otis\
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CD 3\
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“Super Sharpshooter” – The Ganja Kru\
quote form The Three Amigos\
“All I Want” – Toad the Wet Sprocket\
“Rumpshaker” – Wrecks N Effects\
“Angel” – Massive Attack\
“Rainy Days and Nights” – Shawn Rudiman\
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“On & On” – Erykah Badu\
“Lifetime” – Maxwell\
“Teardrop” – Massive Attack\
“I'd Rather Be With You” – Bootsy Collins\
“Into the Mystic” – Van Morrison\
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“The Way” – Jill Scott\
“This Woman's Work” – Maxwell\
“Many Rivers to Cross” – Jimmy Cliff\
“Hello My Baby” – Ladysmith Black Mambazo\
“Fortunate” – Maxwell\
“Llorando” – from the Mulholland Drive Soundtrack\
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“Already One” – Neil Young\
“Sleepwalk” – Santo and Johnny (this didn't make it onto the anthology…just didn't have the room)\
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If anyone wants me to whip up one of these monsters for your personal listening pleasure, just let me know.

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?\
Graduated from college, took my driving test (twice), failed my driving test (twice), managed to enjoy myself and my life as it is (sometimes). Published large(ish) articles in Pulp and in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Became a staff member of one of the coolest online \
art zines( http://www.wintermittens.com ). Took that emergency contraception stuff for a drive. Kept a regular journal after vowing to do so for…well, my whole life.\
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2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?\
On January 20th, I made an entry outlining what were basically my resolutions. They were:\
Get a job, get my driver's license, lose weight, get a haircut, work on getting day care for the baby, organize my crap. Well, as of December 22, I am a CMU employee. I have made two valiant attempts at getting my driver's license, which is a big step for me since my fear of tests is one of the main reasons I didn't just get it when I was 16. Since February of this year, I have lost somewhere around 25 pounds, which feels great. I've had my hairs cut twice this year (wow, what a tough resolution). The day care thing has been pretty much dependent \
on whether or not I would be looking at regular employment, and as of right now I'm not positive what our child care needs will be. Organizing my crap happens in slow increments, but overall I really haven't worked toward that one too much. So, the driver's license, the child care, and the organization will carry over into next year. I also plan to resolve to work much harder on my writing and to not let my fear of rejection prevent me from trying.\
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3. Did anyone close to you give birth?\
Some LJ people, namely , had babies but nobody that I personally know.\
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4. Did anyone close to you die?\
We weren't extremely close, but my cousin's husband died suddenly at the young age of 49. His death was such a shock and a true loss for our family. He was a very nice and funny man and I have many great memories of him. He lived a hard life and I can only hoped that he died peacefully and satisfied with his short time on the planet.\
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5. What countries did you visit?\
None. Wah.\
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6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?\
Articles in national publications (ie, magazines). A therapy session with my mom.\
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7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?\
February 14. The boyfriend and I had a fabulous Valentine's Day. Typically, it ended in arguments and threats to break up but all of the stuff leading up to that was lovely. ;-p\
Also, February 15. The baby weaned himself from breastfeeding. Kind of trivial, I know, but I really enjoyed nursing him. /mushy mom moment\
\
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?\
The articles that I had published, my new job, and, of course, my little family continues to thrive and be awesome.\
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9. What was your biggest failure?\
Doubting myself.\
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10. Did you suffer illness or injury?\
No injuries, but on New Year's Eve the boyfriend and I had the puking-and-pooping virus, which was a shitty (no pun intended) way to start off the year. Other than that, it's been pretty healthy.\
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11. What was the best thing you bought?\
My laptop, birth control, food.\
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12. Whose behavior merited celebration?\
The U.N., France, and anyone else who told The Shrub to take his war and stick it. J'accuse! The baby, just for being awesome; the boyfriend for being an excellent father and partner; my mom, for being the rock on which I build my life (I know I bitch about her antics a lot, but I'd be lost without her).\
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13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?\
The Shrub; some of my friends; humans in general.\
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14. Where did most of your money go?\
Credit card bills, my new laptop (which still makes me drool and I still haven't found a better price for it anywhere! yes!), birth control, food.\
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15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?\
Every single time my words appeared in print; my new job; every little thing that my son did.\
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16. What song will always remind you of 2003?\
Nature Boy. I just started singing it to the baby one day and he fell in love with it. He's able to sing most of the song by himself.\
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17. Compared to this time last year, are you\
i. happier or sadder?: happier.\
ii. thinner or fatter? much thinner.\
iii. richer or poorer? richer, I suppose, since I have some income, but still quite poor.\
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18. What do you wish you'd done more of?\
Writing. I can always write more than I do. \
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19. What do you wish you'd done less of?\
Arguing with my mom.\
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20. How will you be spending/did you spend Christmas?\
Running hither and thither to various relatives' house so that they can ogle my son.\
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22. Did you fall in love in 2003?\
Of course. I fall in love with the boyfriend and the baby every day. gush gush gush\
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24. What was your favorite TV program?\
Six Feet Under. I'm pretty sure that I cried once every episode this season. But that probably has something to do with the fact that I'm a big puss. Also, Carnivale. I'm just completely fascinated with that show.\
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25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?\
I don't truly hate anyone, I don't have that in me. I am on the outs with a few people but I maintain hope that we'll find our way back to each other.\
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26. What was the best book you read?\
\
Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser.\
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27. What was your greatest musical discovery?\
It was a re-discovery, but Michael Jackson's Thriller and Off the Wall albums are two of the greatest albums ever produced.\
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28. What did you want and get?\
A good job, my writing published, time with my little family\
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29. What did you want and not get?\
My driver's license, photo albums (I'm in dire need).\
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30. What was your favorite film of this year?\
\
Lost in Translation. I've been thinking about it since I saw it.\
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31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?\
I had my friends and family over for dinner and cake, got a little tipsy, passed out candy to trick-or-treaters, and had to keep changing outfits because I was dressed too warmly. Later, the boyfriend and I went to the Projekthaus for Sauce. I turned 25.\
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32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?\
Up until a few days ago it would have been finding a job, but now that I have one I'd have to say getting my driver's license. That whole situation is just so frustrating to me. Fuck driving.\
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33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?\
Ha! Um, probably “bottom of the barrel” or “any port in a storm.” I wore whatever would cover me and would fit somewhat properly. What with my weight loss and my lack of money, clothing was pretty much for the sole purpose of covering my body this year.\
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34. What kept you sane?\
My son. Any time I felt like being completely self-involved and flipping out, I knew that I had to keep it together for him.\
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35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?\
I don't know. I watched a lot of Oprah this year…\
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36. What political issue stirred you the most?\
The war and the realization that we, the people, mean nothing to them, the powers that be.\
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37. Who did you miss?\
Stacey. I don't see or talk to her enough.\
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38. Who was the best new person you met?\
I had met her before, but this year was the first time that I really got to know . She's a great person and I'm so glad to know her.\
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39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:\
Remain calm and try not to let your emotions rule your every action (my emotions can be kind of…um…rash).\
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40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:\
\
“The greatest thing\
You'll ever learn\
Is just to love\
And be loved in return.”

I'm finally home. Thank dog. The baby is in bed and I have the house to myself for a little bit. The boyfriend drove my cousin home because I guess she overindulged in the alcoholic beverages at my grandmother's house. My mom left a little bit ago to go pick him up. They're not back yet so I'm assuming they stopped into my cousin's house to bullshit.\
This was a very fine Christmas. The baby got a ton of cool stuff to add to the ton of cool stuff that he got for his birthday three weeks ago. I got many cool things…although all of them are slipping my mind at the moment. I suppose I should mention that gave the boyfriend, the baby, and me the tshirts that she silkscreened herself. They say “trite (trIt): not fresh or original”\
The witty part is that she gave them to a bunch of her friends, too. So there are going to be a bunch of dorks running around Pittsburgh with these tshirts on. Watch for us.\
Last night we went out to Brookline to spend Christmas Eve with the boyfriend's family. I guess they started doing this when I wormed my way into the family, but I think it works out nicely. The boyfriend's aunt and uncle were over…smoking in the house. Grr. But, as usual, I wasn't trying to start drama so I kept my mouth shut. We only see them like twice a year. I know that's no excuse but whatever, it's not the issue at hand. The boyfriend's grandmother, Nunnie, made ravioli for a dinner but the boyfriend, my dad and I had gone to Tram's for lunch and were still stuffed. We opened presents and the baby got lots of cool stuff, including plenty of tracks and engines for his Brio train set. The boyfriend and the baby actually got into a small fight over who was going to play with it and how, while I sat rolling my eyes and wondering, “Who's the toddler in this situation?” The baby was tired and not feeling so great so several meltdowns occurred, but overall it was a nice evening.\
When we got home I put the baby to bed and snuggled into bed to watch one of our new movies. The boyfriend's mother, in what appears to be a new Christmas tradition since it's the second year that she's done this, gave us a case of beer. It's a sampler of all of these imported dark beers that sound really yummy. My plan was to eat candy and drink a bottle of this stuff called Young's Winter Warmer, however, the thought of that beer sitting in my stomach all night made me feel immediately sluggish so I decided to abstain. The boyfriend, however, plowed ahead. Halfway through the movie, and about 3/4 of the way through the beer, he stood up to get under the covers. He sat back down, laughed, looked at me with crooked eyes and said, “Wooo, I think that beer went to the dome.” I fell asleep soon after while he stayed up tipsily playing Tony Hawk's Underground, which his mom gave him (I should really send her a thank you note for that, because I will be thoroughly ignored for the next few months. argh).\
We woke up pretty early this morning and got right to opening presents. Then we slowly started to get ready to go to my grandmother's. Now, I am at a weird size right now and don't have many clothes that fit…certainly nothing festive or Christmasy (sadly, my collection of fugly applique sweaters are too large. weep.). I decided to go for comfort and just threw on a black sweater and jeans. My mom insisted that I at least put on some black slacks, but that the sweater was fine. I did so, and she said, “You're dressed in all black! You look like you're going to a funeral!” Then she started picking apart the boyfriend's outfit and sent him upstairs to shave. I put a pair of red earrings on and yelled, “Christmas will still happen no matter what we're wearing!” I must admit, I looked painfully postmodern showing up for Christmas dinner in all black.\
We finally left and headed for my grandparents' where much excellent food and drink was consumed. More presents, you know the deal.\
After a few hours we headed out to Penn Hills to visit the boyfriend's aunt/cousin/person (the relation was never made clear to me) and participated in another holiday tradition: getting lost on the way there. More food, a present for the baby, and some more beverage.\
I must say that I am full to the point of bursting but am still eyeing a bag of candy that is sitting across from me.\
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All in all, with everyone in generally good health, a new, highly awaited job coming up, my gorgeous son being so awesome, and having plenty of good conversation today, this has been an excellent Christmas.

I stayed up pretty late last night wrapping presents and watching Adaptation. with the boyfriend. My mom came in several times to scold me for not doing a zillion things around the house during the day, even though I kept reminding her that I had been feeling sick all day. Then she berated me for getting sick around Christmas. Like I plan these things just to piss her off.\
Anyway, the baby woke up congested and crying around 4:30 and I was just completely befuddled. I changed his diaper, patted his back and gave him more VapoRub then just sort of collapsed into my mom's bed with him in the exhausted hope that he would just go back to sleep. I kept drifting off but he was pretty wide awake and kept talking to me. I felt bad because he was being so sweet, leaning over to give me kisses and touching my face and saying, “Mum, pretty face.” I was just delerious at that point. My mom got up and went to rock with him in his room and I kept having those half-awake dreams where I would dream that I was up and putting the baby to bed. Then I would completely wake up and realize that I was still in bed. It was so confusing and I felt bad that my mom was taking care of the baby but I was just really bushed. I ended up sleeping the rest of the night in there. Earlier this morning I got up thinking that I would curl up with the boyfriend but when I got into our room he was completely spread out and somehow taking up the whole bed. And farting. I thought, “Wow, he really missed sleeping with me,” and just grabbed the laptop and headed down to the kitchen. Upon sitting at the kitchen table I discovered two things.\
1) we don't have any coffee cream or good breakfast stuff\
2) my email isn't working! (*@#&(*&(@*&#(@*&(#&(&!@(*&$^#*@($&*$*@&^#$@%&*^*!\
I foresee my email remaining down until next week what with the holiday and the weekend coming up and I want to find the nearest Santa and punch him.\
My grandmother gave the baby this plush Cat in the Hat doll for his birthday. When you press his hand he says one of several phrases from the movie (barf). I just heard, “Why I'm the Cat in the Hat, there's no doubt about that!” so I guess my little one's stirring. Later.

My stomach's upset for some reason and thankfully the baby went down for a nap with little to no fuss. I'm just lying in bed trying to get my mind off of it but people keep calling here for no good goddamned reason. I put us on the Do Not Call list last month but it said it wouldn't take effect until January or something. Now it seems we get twice the calls we got before. The last one was just a recording saying, “This is so-and-so, your former book club. We are sorry that we don't have an agent available to talk to you during this telemarketing call–” So why fucking call? My mom and grandmother keep calling about…I don't even know. For my mom, especially, Christmas seems to be such a chore. bah.\
\
I went to CMU earlier to pick up my offer letter, which was very nice and said how they were all looking forward to me coming to work there. My bosses are so so nice and I'm actually really excited to go to work there. They're also going to be paying me more than I thought so that rules. Another thing I realized today is that I will have access to all of CMU's facilities, like the gym and the pool and whatnot.\
\
I'm watching the baby show on TLC at the moment and the mom that they're profiling seems like a total pain in the ass. Instead of having a shower, she threw herself a baby party. All of her girlfriends and their six zillion kids came to her suburban home that looks like every other house in their cul-de-sac. Then she keeps yelling at the kids to be quiet and listen to her as she reads “thoughts on having a new baby” and blahblahblah and the kids are like, “shut up, we're playing with fingerpaint.” She's also eight months pregnant and wearing regular jeans and a belt. Wouldn't that be really fucking uncomfortable? I mean, you just sort of get to a point where you don't want any pressure on that part of your body. Join the team and wear the maternity jeans with the big-ass panel in the front, lady!\
Whatever.

The baby's still asleep so I'm sneaking in an entry in case I don't get a chance the rest of today.\
Last night, I invited , , and over to my house so that I could give them their presents. As the week gets busier, there's no telling when I'll see them next. I gave Cristina these yummy smelling homemade soaps and some sock monkey notecards from Jay Designs. I gave Cara some fingerless gloves from Urban Outfitters, so now she'll be the coolest girl in town since we don't have a bricks-and-mortar UO here. Gotta hit up the online store (although, really, lately I've been thinking it's no big loss). I gave Frank this really goofy soap from Jay Designs that is in the shape of a jello salad mold with chunks of mysterious fruit-looking stuff in it and everything. It came on this little plate with a doily and it might just be one of my most favorite gifts ever. Originally, I had a better and more appropriate gift idea for him but the only chance that I had to go to this particular store they weren't open (what is it with my Christmas shopping plans being thwarted by independent business owners?). Hence, the jello salad soap. It's a quirky gift, yes, but he's a quirky fellow, so I think it worked out in the end.\
Cristina gave the boyfriend and me a DJ Skribble Drum and Bass Spinhead, which has to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. His head works like a joystick and for every different direction you turn it, a different sound or phrase is heard. He says really goofy things like, “CYBERTRONIC” and “DJ gonna make you MOVE.” He also carries a glowstick and has his labret pierced. It also comes with DJ Skribble's Club Terms Dictionary and a little fact sheet about drum and bass. I could have died. Cristina gave the baby this little shirt that says “I like green eggs and ham!” on it. The baby was quite impressed since that particular Dr. Seuss book is one of his all-time favorites.\
The four of us spent a few minutes playing with Legos and talking about various goofy things…mostly the Internet, since we're dorks. It was very nice since I hadn't seen any of those kids in weeks. Then I had to kick them out so that I could put the baby to bed.\
My kid went to bed pretty easily but around 2 a.m. he woke up crying and with some bad chest congestion and a cough. I picked him up, changed his diaper and patted his back for awhile. My mom got up to help me set up the humidifier and to put some VapoRub on his chest. He fell back to sleep pretty quickly. Hopefully, this will clear up soon since being sick over Christmas would be suck-ass. I checked in his developmental book for croup but I don't think he has that. His cough didn't sound weird enough.\
The boyfriend didn't get home until 3 because he was out in Brookline helping silkscreen tshirts. He's been out late every night for the past week, which is fine but we really haven't had any one-on-one time in a long while. I'm really starting to miss him and I think the baby does, too. His friends don't have kids so I don't think they realize that him not being here for bedtime and stuff is kind of a big deal so they convince him to stay out all night (although I'm sure his arm isn't being twisted too hard). Terds.\
\
Today I have to go to CMU to pick up my offer letter from the English Department and prove to them that I'm not an illegal alien. I'm hoping that only consists of signing some papers and not some bizarre INS ritual involving the American flag and a fraternity paddle. I also have two gifts that I'm trying to get today, one for my mom and one for my dad.\
I got relatively little sleep last night but I'm suprisingly chipper. Let's see how long that lasts.

Our Top Five lists for the year-end issue of Pulp were due Monday at noon. Guess who had a list more or less completed but totally forgot to send it in? \
\
Me. \
\
I guess I just got all distracted with Christmas and job stuff. I just emailed it to my editor, but I don't know if they're going to be able to use it now or not. Gah, I'm so irritated with myself right now! How could I be so flaky? It was an optional thing, we didn't have to do one, but I didn't do one last year so I really wanted to participate this year.\
\
*cries*

I got the job.\
This is good because I had completely convinced myself that I was going to be receiving a form rejection letter in the mail tucked in with the holiday greetings.\
But enough revelry, I have to go do laundry 🙂

My kid just went down for the night. I'm so tired at this point I can't even think straight. I'm also starting to hallucinate.

The boyfriend brought home some muffins, so I just scarfed down a big lemon poppyseed monstrosity because I was a tad famished. It hasn't kicked in yet, though.\
I went to the Pitt basketball game tonight with Jwan, which was fun. I'm no sports nut, but I find that occasionally actually going out to watch a game is pretty enjoyable…and it goes much quicker than trying to watch it on TV. I drove us home, which was a little nerve-wracking since I hadn't driven since August. Oh, by the way, that really irritating woman driver who's going way too slow? That's me. For now, anyway. Just have to be cautious.\
I was going to wrap gifts today but never got around to it. Ergh.\
The boyfriend and his sister went out to the mall today to do some Christmas shopping. Apparently I am getting many, many DVDs this year, which is cool. However, my movie viewing is a little backed up at the moment. I have a couple of DVDs from my birthday still waiting to be viewed.\
This post will only become more random.\
Last night at the LUPEC thingy, I was sitting at the bar waiting in my tiara for my cocktail. The drag queen to my left said, cheekily, “Hey, I like your tiara.” I said, “Oh, and yours is lovely as well.” Then she started quipping about how she was a little shocked to see so many tiaras out that evening. I tried to make a hipstery joke about their ubiquity and said, “Yes, they're like trucker caps for the glamour set.” For some reason, that pissed her off since she abruptly stopped speaking to me. I don't get it. I thought it was pretty funny. Sigh…queens.\
I think I need to sleep and pack that lemon poppyseed muffin onto my backside.\
Night.